Quote from: Jessica Jaclyn Reimer on June 04, 2015, 01:16:10 AM
My recent look - since going full time May 2nd. Passable?





This is still my old wig - getting my hair system this Saturday. YAY!!!!

The headshot I'm wearing frost blue eyeliner with bright green eyeshadow - you can't see it very well, but it looked awesome. lol.

- Jess

hi Jess,
well I have to counter the previous post. Not all women have small shoulders and uber curves (but your getting there) and I don't see anything that says non-passable. A person's mannerism in combo might be a giveaway. But a casual glance wouldn't even betray that.
Oh! and I'd love to hear about what your getting as a hair system. If you've seen some of my other posts, you'd know why it rates higher on my needs list than anything else from my neck-up

Quote from: michelle82 on June 03, 2015, 10:13:11 PM
hi all, I'm having a tough time determining if i'm getting read or not when in public. This is how I went to work today and did some shopping as well. I'm not getting much stares, but i just don't know. I'm very light with my makeup too.

i want honest feedback, no BS please. I know it's just a 2d picture. but does my face sort of pass? i pretty solid on my walk, mannerisms and voice, so i'm not really worried there.

Honestly you look very good and I would not look twice at you other than to marvel at your cute short curly hair!

Quote from: michelle82 on June 03, 2015, 10:13:11 PM
hi all, I'm having a tough time determining if i'm getting read or not when in public. This is how I went to work today and did some shopping as well. I'm not getting much stares, but i just don't know. I'm very light with my makeup too.

i want honest feedback, no BS please. I know it's just a 2d picture. but does my face sort of pass? i pretty solid on my walk, mannerisms and voice, so i'm not really worried there.

Hi Michelle,

I honestly think you look androgynous in this photo. Passing visually at a glance is sometimes a matter of tipping the scales of gender slightly more in one direction or the other, and I believe I would gender you female on the street if you were dressed in unambiguous women's clothing--a dress, a skirt, a certain kind of top, etc.--but might be uncertain if you were in unisex or men's clothing. I'm not saying you *should* wear that kind of clothing, to be clear--just that an explicit female marker in terms of clothing and/or makeup would tip the scales for me, I think. Your face is definitely not masculine--it's just that there's something andro about, at least to me, that might make me look at you for a moment longer than normal out of uncertainty. I've experienced this kind of thing myself a lot. I find I 'pass' well visually if I wear unambiguous female clothing but I seem to get more confused looks and less gendered greetings if I wear more unisex clothing.

Hope that helps somehow! Good luck! And remember that a stare isn't always an attempt to gender someone; it might simply be someone finding you attractive.

Quote from: Jessica Jaclyn Reimer on June 04, 2015, 01:16:10 AM
My recent look - since going full time May 2nd. Passable?





This is still my old wig - getting my hair system this Saturday. YAY!!!!

The headshot I'm wearing frost blue eyeliner with bright green eyeshadow - you can't see it very well, but it looked awesome. lol.

- Jess

Hi Jess,

well, to be honest, I think you look pretty here but you wouldn't pass if I saw you. I don't mean that to be mean. In the second photo, your face and wig look very cute but I think I can see some beard shadow, for one, and there is something else that throws me off, as well--I don't know if it is facial structure or the nose or what. In the first photo, you do seem to pass significantly more from a distance. I do think your body structure may get you noticed, but that's not a given, and I can't fully see how tall or broad-shouldered you are from the photo. Of course, there are tall and large ciswomen in abundance out there, but when it comes to passing visually, sometimes what a ciswoman can pull off becomes the thing that outs us unless we, too, are able to pass perfectly in every other respect visually, at least at a lingering glance. So, it's something about your face--I think removing the beard shadow will take you a large step closer to not only passing but passing as an attractive woman. I apologise if you know this already, but using an orange product underneath your foundation will colour-correct the blue/green undertones of your shadow. MAC's Morange lipstick, a matte orange eyeshadow, MAC's orange concealer, etc.--these, used sparingly, will completely erase your shadow. The other option is a heavier full-coverage foundation, but heavy foundation is something else that can lead to more stares and thus more possible mis-gendering.

Hope that helps and good luck!

 
Okay folks here is the deal this thread exists to help and lend support and help those who are concerned if they pass or not. It's not a place to make remarks that belittle or ridicule people and the help others have offered them If you don't agree with the help that people are giving people please take it elsewhere.  Thanks
Mariah

Quote from: Susan on July 27, 2006, 07:45:44 PM
5. The posting of messages on the chat or forums which are of a threatening tone; intended solely to communicate sarcasm, contempt, or derision; are intended to belittle or ridicule a person or group; to disgust the viewer; contain obscene or pornographic materials; which are intended to titillate; or which depicts/promotes illegal acts; will not be permitted.

9. If you disapprove of people who are Transgender, Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual; or activities which cross gender boundaries; take your arguments to a more appropriate website.

10. Bashing or flaming of an individual or group is not acceptable behavior on this website and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason.  This includes but is not limited to:

• Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term
• Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more or less legitimate, deserving, or real than any others
• Posting any messages that engages in personal attacks and/or is actively or passively aggressive no matter the provocation.

Quote from: Gabrielle_22 on June 04, 2015, 08:17:34 PM
Hi Michelle,

I honestly think you look androgynous in this photo. Passing visually at a glance is sometimes a matter of tipping the scales of gender slightly more in one direction or the other, and I believe I would gender you female on the street if you were dressed in unambiguous women's clothing--a dress, a skirt, a certain kind of top, etc.--but might be uncertain if you were in unisex or men's clothing. I'm not saying you *should* wear that kind of clothing, to be clear--just that an explicit female marker in terms of clothing and/or makeup would tip the scales for me, I think. Your face is definitely not masculine--it's just that there's something andro about, at least to me, that might make me look at you for a moment longer than normal out of uncertainty. I've experienced this kind of thing myself a lot. I find I 'pass' well visually if I wear unambiguous female clothing but I seem to get more confused looks and less gendered greetings if I wear more unisex clothing.

Hope that helps somehow! Good luck! And remember that a stare isn't always an attempt to gender someone; it might simply be someone finding you attractive.

Hi Jess,

well, to be honest, I think you look pretty here but you wouldn't pass if I saw you. I don't mean that to be mean. In the second photo, your face and wig look very cute but I think I can see some beard shadow, for one, and there is something else that throws me off, as well--I don't know if it is facial structure or the nose or what. In the first photo, you do seem to pass significantly more from a distance. I do think your body structure may get you noticed, but that's not a given, and I can't fully see how tall or broad-shouldered you are from the photo. Of course, there are tall and large ciswomen in abundance out there, but when it comes to passing visually, sometimes what a ciswoman can pull off becomes the thing that outs us unless we, too, are able to pass perfectly in every other respect visually, at least at a lingering glance. So, it's something about your face--I think removing the beard shadow will take you a large step closer to not only passing but passing as an attractive woman. I apologise if you know this already, but using an orange product underneath your foundation will colour-correct the blue/green undertones of your shadow. MAC's Morange lipstick, a matte orange eyeshadow, MAC's orange concealer, etc.--these, used sparingly, will completely erase your shadow. The other option is a heavier full-coverage foundation, but heavy foundation is something else that can lead to more stares and thus more possible mis-gendering.

Hope that helps and good luck!

Thanks for the feedback. I agree about dressing a slightly bit more feminine to tip the scales. That was my work outfit so I was dressed a bit more casual with a cardigan.

I think your right about my face being androgynous right now. I'm two months on HRT and my hair is still kind of in that short phase. It's curly so it takes time to grow out. I'll check back back in 6 months right before going full time, hopefully I'll be a bit more progressed beyond andro.

My plan is still to get FFS and time it with going fulltime but we will see!!

Thanks for thoughtful and constructive feedback!!

At work, tired, no makeup. No photoshop. Taken with a galaxy s5. We had some electrical maintenance so I was up late.



I'm kind of prepping for full time at work making gradual changes.

My colleagues seem to only notice my hair... Or so they say. One guy offered me a pair of scissors.

Quote from: iKate on June 05, 2015, 08:07:25 PM
At work, tired, no makeup. No photoshop. Taken with a galaxy s5. We had some electrical maintenance so I was up late.



I'm kind of prepping for full time at work making gradual changes.

My colleagues seem to only notice my hair... Or so they say. One guy offered me a pair of scissors.

This is the most helpful picture of you I've seen.  Most of us glam it up a bit so it's hard to really assess (and that's totally fine) but this pic seems totally natural and candid.  I think you look great and I really don't see a man even though I'm looking for one.  Your progress has been very rewarding to watch and gives me hope. 

Quote from: Abysha on June 05, 2015, 09:32:56 PM
This is the most helpful picture of you I've seen.  Most of us glam it up a bit so it's hard to really assess (and that's totally fine) but this pic seems totally natural and candid.  I think you look great and I really don't see a man even though I'm looking for one.  Your progress has been very rewarding to watch and gives me hope.

Thanks.

I did this on purpose to see how I look under normal conditions. This is more or less how I am every day, except at work I would throw something over it. However these days I've been saying to heck with it and just going like that. I am wondering how long before people notice or say something about my gender presentation.

One guy did ask questions like "what is up with your hairstyle dood" or "you look really different, what's up?" but nothing pertaining to gender. Maybe their memory of me is such that they don't see the new me yet. I'm going to ratchet it up a few notches as the date draws ever closer.

I can't be fired for gender identity or expression and HR and my boss know. Besides we have a gay guy with tattoos and wears tight shirts and a woman who dresses like a boy. So I think I will be fine.

Just beautiful

Quote from: iKate on June 05, 2015, 08:07:25 PM
At work, tired, no makeup. No photoshop. Taken with a galaxy s5. We had some electrical maintenance so I was up late.



I'm kind of prepping for full time at work making gradual changes.

My colleagues seem to only notice my hair... Or so they say. One guy offered me a pair of scissors.

Quote from: iKate on June 05, 2015, 09:39:35 PM
Maybe their memory of me is such that they don't see the new me yet.

Exactly that, I think.  People who know you in boy mode aren't going to "re-gender" you without realizing they have a reason to do so.  But those same people, if they just met you for the first time, probably wouldn't be calling you a "dood", you know?

I think that's the main thing I'm going to have to get over, as well.  Just accepting that my long-time friends will always remember me for how I was even if I get totally passable and hot (a girl can dream, right?)  I'm going to need to not be offended by that as it's not really fair to expect anything different. 

Maybe that's just part of the territory that nobody warns us about.

Quote from: Abysha on June 05, 2015, 09:50:32 PM
Exactly that, I think.  People who know you in boy mode aren't going to "re-gender" you without realizing they have a reason to do so.  But those same people, if they just met you for the first time, probably wouldn't be calling you a "dood", you know?

I think that's the main thing I'm going to have to get over, as well.  Just accepting that my long-time friends will always remember me for how I was even if I get totally passable and hot (a girl can dream, right?)  I'm going to need to not be offended by that as it's not really fair to expect anything different. 

Maybe that's just part of the territory that nobody warns us about.

That I've found to be true.

I attended a training class all week and presented female. I was treated as a female. I had not met these people before.

Quote from: iKate on June 05, 2015, 08:07:25 PM
At work, tired, no makeup. No photoshop. Taken with a galaxy s5. We had some electrical maintenance so I was up late.



I'm kind of prepping for full time at work making gradual changes.

My colleagues seem to only notice my hair... Or so they say. One guy offered me a pair of scissors.

Hi kate it's very andro looking now. It's hard to see a boy, but your without makeup and female attire so it's questionable. Once you go full time and really go for a fem look you will be fine.

Oh and speaking of clueless coworkers I'm now presenting really feminine at work even though I haven't come out to  my entire department. Only my bosses, close friends and HR. But nobody has asked me anything except one woman who said my new style was nice. I mean I'm not wearing unisex stuff either it's like blatantly obvious I'm dressing and presenting like a woman now.  I just haven't had the confidence to wear any shoes that show off my feet yet. I'm sure a lot of people have realized but no one has the audacity to say anything to me. Which is kind of amusing.

If you are ready just go for it. Even though I'm not super passable right now I sort of don't care because I know everyone at work is gonna know my business anyways. Whether I'm passing or not.

Good luck you will look great!

Quote from: michelle82 on June 05, 2015, 10:33:04 PM
Hi kate it's very andro looking now. It's hard to see a boy, but your without makeup and female attire so it's questionable. Once you go full time and really go for a fem look you will be fine.

Oh and speaking of clueless coworkers I'm now presenting really feminine at work even though I haven't come out to  my entire department. Only my bosses, close friends and HR. But nobody has asked me anything except one woman who said my new style was nice. I mean I'm not wearing unisex stuff either it's like blatantly obvious I'm dressing and presenting like a woman now.  I just haven't had the confidence to wear any shoes that show off my feet yet. I'm sure a lot of people have realized but no one has the audacity to say anything to me. Which is kind of amusing.

If you are ready just go for it. Even though I'm not super passable right now I sort of don't care because I know everyone at work is gonna know my business anyways. Whether I'm passing or not.

Good luck you will look great!

The shirt is actually a women's shirt, but yes it is an androgynous look. Remember this is the intermediate step not the final product.

Quote from: Jessica Jaclyn Reimer on June 04, 2015, 01:16:10 AM
My recent look - since going full time May 2nd. Passable?





This is still my old wig - getting my hair system this Saturday. YAY!!!!

The headshot I'm wearing frost blue eyeliner with bright green eyeshadow - you can't see it very well, but it looked awesome. lol.

- Jess

I think you'll do well, and pass.

The shadow could work against you, as it does to me. Can't wait until I finish lasering it all off.

Quote from: Jessica Jaclyn Reimer on June 04, 2015, 01:16:10 AM
My recent look - since going full time May 2nd. Passable?



This is still my old wig - getting my hair system this Saturday. YAY!!!!

The headshot I'm wearing frost blue eyeliner with bright green eyeshadow - you can't see it very well, but it looked awesome. lol.

- Jess

Your smile looks very feminine, but you may need to remove the beard shadow to pass well. First, you may pluck the beard hairs by very sharp tweezers once or twice per week, and later by laser. I removed most of my hairs in the beard area by Tria home laser.

barbie~~

Here is my base look.  No make up at all, just got done washing everything off so this is as natural as I can now be. 

Just saw a press release and found out the Dr. who did my nose correction and trach shave is the same Dr. who did the FFS surgery on Caitlyn Jenner.

Quote from: iKate on June 05, 2015, 08:07:25 PM
At work, tired, no makeup. No photoshop. Taken with a galaxy s5. We had some electrical maintenance so I was up late.



I'm kind of prepping for full time at work making gradual changes.

My colleagues seem to only notice my hair... Or so they say. One guy offered me a pair of scissors.

OMG we have so many facial features in common!! And if that's your tired look you must look great! And I love your hair - it's the perfect cut for straight hair of this length!!

One thing though - the eyebrows. It seems you pluck in between. I had the same face, and I did the same thing. I had like an unibrow so maybe I went a bit over the top 

If you do pluck inbetween, you may want to consider leave just a bit less space.

Am I getting close yet?

Quote from: charlotte15 on June 07, 2015, 07:14:09 PM
OMG we have so many facial features in common!! And if that's your tired look you must look great! And I love your hair - it's the perfect cut for straight hair of this length!!

One thing though - the eyebrows. It seems you pluck in between. I had the same face, and I did the same thing. I had like an unibrow so maybe I went a bit over the top 

If you do pluck inbetween, you may want to consider leave just a bit less space.

Noted and I agree. I had them thinner and they looked better however they have suffered neglect. I had a really terrible unibrow too.

Quote from: JessicaH on June 07, 2015, 07:33:45 PM
Am I getting close yet?

Close to what? You pass already.