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genital dysphoria

Started by rachel89, June 05, 2015, 10:33:34 PM

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rachel89

I've been having a lot of genital dysphoria. Its been eating at me a lot lately. I can't really tuck, and I don't know how to cope in a healthy way. If I could, I would go in for SRS now and do the rest when I could afford to.


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Mariah

#1
For me I do everything I can to not have to handle or look at what's down there more than I have to because mine is worse when I have to deal with down there the most and or look at it while it's being turned into hamburger during electro. I'm not sure there is much you can do beyond minimize contact and view of that area. At least that is what works for me. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
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mac1

#2
I have genital dysporia for most of my life and have been unable to do anything about it.
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rachel89

#3
btw, ignore the typo, I know "dysporia" is spelled "dysphoria" ;)


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RavenL

#4
Right now I'm just trying to forget I have anything and just block it out if I look down there. It seems to be working for me right now. Of course it helps that nothing is really popping up either.






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LordKAT

Quote from: rachel89 on June 05, 2015, 10:50:26 PM
btw, ignore the typo, I know "dysporia" is spelled "dysphoria" ;)


Corrected.   BTW, I am the typo king and read typoese pretty well.


As to dealing with dysphoria, I have done some not really good things like ignoring until the odor was bad. I have since learned that one of those shower heads with a hose allow for cleaning without contact.  Not perfect but improvement. I also have a lack of mirrors.
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katrinaw

Hmm, had it all my life, I really hate my genitals!
So I don't look, in my bathroom, the mirror is a swivel one... I keep it tilted up until I have my undies on... and never look in longer mirrors without any undies on either. Schimple  :-*

One day, I wont have Dysphoria (down there) anymore.

L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Katiepie

Mine is bad, well not as bad as to when I was between the ages of 10 and 15 where I had attempted to snip snip, came close but never did. Ended up sleeping with scissors under my pillow during those times. Didn't t really know it was dysphoria, but I knew I wanted to just end it numerous times

This is why I at home wear a nice long skirt, going potty I don't see down there, only when I need to wipe, then I wipe, and tell it "you will be gone in due time", tuck, panties up, skirt down, done.
Today at work, well yesterday (still up from the time so I'm still in yesterday is today mode), was the first time I did not tuck for the month, felt extremely uncomfortable, and I was walking all awkward, or at least I felt like I was. The feelings went away as soon as I ran to the bathroom, tucked, then ate soooooo many cupcakes through the night.

Let's all climb aboard the choo choo train to happiness
Kate♄
My life motto: Wake Up and BE Awesome!

"Every minute of your life that you allow someone to dictate your emotions, is a minute of your life you are allowing them to control you." - a dear friend of mine.

Stay true to yourself no matter the consequence, for this is your life, your decision, your trust in which will shape your future. Believe in yourself, if you don't then no one will.
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Debbi Francis

Hi everyone,
I've have had a bit of troublesome GD myself. I had a relatively large package that was hard to tuck and very uncomfortable to live in. And, tucks can get incredibly twisted at the worst time and not to mention the occasional escape of one of the boys. I wasn't ready for SRS yet, so I opted for an orchiectomy. Three years into HRT,I knew that there was no going back and the orchi seemed to be a good middle ground. It reduced my GD. I can now wear tight leggings, smooth and comfortably, crossing my legs has become a habit. All of this has gone to reducing my genital and general dysphoria and given me greater confidence in my daily life. I still have a problem with the naked mirror but all in all it was a good thing. There may also be health benefits by reducing your HRT levels. I really recommend that you follow WPATH protocols in all transgender treatments. Huggs to all, Debbi 
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DanielleA

My dysphoria over what is currently between my legs has been there through out my life. I used to hurt it when I was little. But now the dysphoria is a bit better because I have learnt to treat those body parts like they are there but not a part of me. Like I have mentally detached myself  from the problem.
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RavenL

Grrr, Mine got super bad last night. The stupid thing kept trying to pop after leaving me alone for a week. Oh well I managed somehow. Maybe just saying "Anymore and here comes the scissors!" helped it see the error of its ways. Not that I'd ever do that of course.






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Rachel

When  was younger I self mutilated. Now I have scar tissue on the internal lining of the penis. When it is erect it is very painful. I also would put runner bands on my gonads until they discolored. After a while of doing this the pain afterward, which was for a day or two, got to be too much. I have wanted my genitals gone since I was very young.

If you have a gender therapist review it with them.

If you start a plan to get aligned that can help. If you can not afford GCS you may qualify for an orchi. Research both and find out if they are right for you. If it is then start a plan. I have been on HRT for 2 years and the gonads are very small. When I get genital dysphoria (often) I think HRT is my revenge on the discomfort my genitals have cause me and that I am doing something  to reduce the discomfort.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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DanielleA

When I was 4yro I used a piece of barbed wire to try and remove the things between my legs. My actions left a big scar too. When I was 19 and started down the road of transitioning, my sexual health clinic doctor had a look at the scar. He wasn't worried about it and said that it won't affect reassignment or anything.
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RavenL

Wondering if anyone feels the way I do now. Anytime "it I refuse to call it anything else" pops I'm feeling dirty and ashamed and kind of gets me down. I mean last night I was just relaxing and it was trying something and just ruined it for me.






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Joi

I have it more & more now that I have decided to have GRS (Jan.'16).  Maybe it's just the anticipation of what's to come and knowing that it's all still down there.  Seldom look at it an more.


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Valwen

In general I have only occasional problems with what I have, I want it corrected but I haven't wanted to do something about it myself in years. I am over weight enough that it's not easy to see so that helps. Then again I have always tucked often, lately almost constantly. I don't think I hate what I have I just really would rather get it fixed.
What is a Lie when it's at home? Anyone?
Is it the depressed little voice inside? Whispering in my ear? Telling me to give up?
Well I'm not giving up. Not for that part of me that hates myself. That part wants me to wither and die. not for you. Never for you.  --Loki: Agent of Asgard

Started HRT Febuary 21st 2015
First Time Out As Myself June 8th 2015
Full Time June 24th 2015
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AbbyKat

Quote from: rachel89 on June 05, 2015, 10:33:34 PM
I've been having a lot of genital dysphoria. Its been eating at me a lot lately. I can't really tuck, and I don't know how to cope in a healthy way. If I could, I would go in for SRS now and do the rest when I could afford to.

This may seem petty but I came up with a couple of names to replace "penis".  I call it either my "prevagina" or my "shenis".  It helps when I use words that remind me that it's simply not "done" yet.  When I look at it now days, I can sometimes view it that way and it really helps. 

I'm assuming you are planning an SRS.  If so, just remember that what you see down there is necessary for what you want.  It's like a caterpillar right now before becoming a butterfly.  Before this moment, as I typed that, I never realized how fitting the visual is for that.
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Jayne

In an effort to hide it from myself I wear the tummy flattening underwear in bed as they do a good job of giving the right contours.
When I have a bath I either use bath oils that turn the water milky white or wear underwear in the bath so it doesn't float to the surface and become visible.
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Stephanie G

Quote from: rachel89 on June 05, 2015, 10:33:34 PM
I've been having a lot of genital dysphoria. Its been eating at me a lot lately. I can't really tuck, and I don't know how to cope in a healthy way. If I could, I would go in for SRS now and do the rest when I could afford to.

The only thing I can think of is try not to think about it, and is there a reason you can't tuck? I used to have issues with it, like it not staying in place though now I wear 3 pairs of underwear everyday, that seems to keep it in place.
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Zoetrope

Any sense of genital dysphoria has totally evaporated for me, since getting close to men who regard me as female regardless of my bits.

Getting involved with guys pre-op and mid-transition was a leap into the unknown, and I was quite uncertain at first - but now, having my bits altered is so far down my priorities that it just doesn't rate.

I guess what matters to me is - to a degree - modulated by what matters to those close to me.

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