Hi Here is my before and after, this is my first time showing my before.
![Shocked :o](https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/shocked.gif)
I start back in the day that we don't really have camera on the phone so I didn't have much picture of me before it was 2003. So I hope this post is not too long
Me at 2003 (as fully a complete guy)
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs29.postimg.org%2Fck35f9kqf%2FKoh_Chang007re.jpg&hash=73c8f1a3c93669c80403777432f86ca49beb2d30)
On my first years I didn't take much photo, as I hated myself, I dress up occasionally. I go around with wig, I thought I never going to be a woman. I want all operation in the world to make me feminine. I go on a crazy diet and lose 20lbs. It was the most depress time of my life. Very low self esteem and feel bad with social.
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs10.postimg.org%2F5wdxwaa9l%2Fpractice_127.jpg&hash=2f0f8aaf003c97dd9d792fc249214720e95a4d0d)
and This is my first dress up with a wig. This was like 2005 (I already forget this, this thread make me dig up these ten years photo again)
![Grin ;D](https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/grin.gif)
This time my mind start to be like, I don't care anymore, I overcame the depress feeling. I gonna do the best for myself. I don't know if I going to be a woman or not, but I will just go on. I start going out to people, everyone, friends, parent, etc. As I was social independent, and job and financial independent, so I was like I don't cae if you accept me or not, I am here to inform you that I am a woman!! inside out. I lose some friend though but I feel so good at that time ^__^ It's like a relief feeling.
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs17.postimg.org%2Fakmom99qn%2Fmsn_profile.jpg&hash=6d3a938a39003ae15bd690fe2a7e18dcad6d83f9)
Then I start HRT and grow my own hair
![Cheesy :D](https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/cheesy.gif)
, no more wig ( I still keep that wig ) and this is me 1 year after HRT. I went to a party in devil costume.
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs11.postimg.org%2Fmlkrfsrrn%2F20111231201245b.jpg&hash=0a77fedf8967c116aac15fee3bfb4f7e2632aeea)
And that time of my life, I call "Anything make beauty, you tell me" I start doing every things that make a woman look pretty, I learn many technique of make up, hair do, spa myself, treatment. I get hair removal laser treatment at my face and my leg twice a month for 12 months straight up. I was super pampering myself, I was really strict about my routine beauty treatment, I scrubed my skin every 4 days, I do facial mask every weeks with different formula, I cream myself everyday, etc. And this is the second year HRT result
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs27.postimg.org%2Fi65a4xutf%2FIMG_0043.jpg&hash=a94be2d2941bbe1bd3b748c0656c9376d50fa207)
That time was the big change, I was surprise too! never though so. And then on the third to forth year it start to go to the peak of transition, I think I look the best on that time.
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimg.org%2Fwqdmy26i7%2FIMG_20130429_150253.jpg&hash=63f7fde7c583a6b8463495153c1baece8e813561)
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimg.org%2F674dyzdax%2FIMG_20130427_140204.jpg&hash=33bb119156be587cba642b8edb77b404181518d4)
My first swim suit photo
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs10.postimg.org%2F62ni50ayh%2FDSC_3627.jpg&hash=7a18f52d00e0cebdc1746042b32ad4f1e04f150b)
Then after that, it more like try to keep yourself like that
![Grin ;D](https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/grin.gif)
and I start to want to have a little sexy girl masculine look so I start to go to gym again, but doing different exercise than when I was a guy and this is the result, this is me last year
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs24.postimg.org%2Fvn3swgnqd%2F10559627_10202537506575072_720631499_o.jpg&hash=c2c48c336d80b2475cbe1952bc3125218dbee73e)
so the exercise I regular do at that time was the running, abs works like sit up, I turn on youtube and search "train like an angle of Victoria Secret and regular do it. And it turn out really healthy. I use to be really afraid of exercise when I first start transition as I don't want any muscle, but after sometime I learn that if you are on HRT you won't really gain that muscle like guy did.
![](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs17.postimg.org%2F6d1jod40f%2F1924848_10201700670454692_1102207344_o.jpg&hash=6b5cbf9ee6b3b95578ee275c0212f444864fafa3)
And today, it's been more than ten years, I admit that I really loose myself. I didn't really care much on myself. I enjoy eating no more control!!! my weight is getting over control, too many fat covering me. I getting older, I start to gain wrinkel, scar. now I try to fight weight control, the weight keep going up and not come down. I try to keep myself look young, even though I am not LOL. I plan that I will turn 50s like Madonna
![Grin ;D](https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/grin.gif)
. And today, I still didn't get any surgery that I plan on the first year of transition, I just get the laser treatment for hair and continuously HRT. I still plan on doing breast imp, but something always came up. I went several doctor and sit right there and something make me decide " let's do it later then "
![Tongue :P](https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/tongue.gif)
And I am pretty scare of getting cut too. I didn't even get the ear pierce as I am too scare
![Shocked :o](https://www.susans.org/Smileys/susans/shocked.gif)
This is recent of me,