Quote from: Tessa James on June 21, 2015, 11:55:45 AM
Welcome back you shy lady   I see you on FB but appreciate your presence here.

Thanks Tessa! Things just seem different here now. Maybe it is just me. I lurk more than anything now.

I don't go out with anyone trans these days, none that are near where I live that I can stand being around for very long and its not because they are trans, its because they are just not my type of person to hang around with. But I don't think I would worry as I would likely be the "less passable" one.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on June 21, 2015, 11:45:43 AM
Or maybe I am this way because I learned everything myself through mistakes and trials -people here either tried to scam me from money by offering prescriptions, or gave wrong sorts of advise, or openly made offers of favours in exchange for sex.

Way harsh!  Sorry about that stuff.  You do seem to be rising above all that and I know we can find a balm for every bruise if we try.

Quote from: marsh monster on June 21, 2015, 12:35:32 PM
I don't go out with anyone trans these days, none that are near where I live that I can stand being around for very long and its not because they are trans, its because they are just not my type of person to hang around with.

Yes, a butthead is not much fun whether transgender or not  

Quote from: Tessa James on June 21, 2015, 12:40:18 PM
Yes, I butthead is not much fun whether transgender or not

well, I don't care much for people who only want to be your friend when they need something from you, otherwise, they have no use for you. Those sorts of people I avoid like the plaque.

I have gone out with less passable girls and that has caused some clocking of us both. No big deal.

I really don't care, we are just doing our thing and it's the other peoples issue. I consider it a personal failure to refuse to help someone out thats not very far along in the journey just because of a potential issue with passing.

I am not ashamed of being trans.   There's nothing wrong with it and I don't mind if I get to be "the pretty one" when out and about with other transwomen.  Clocked?  WGASA.  It's part of life.  I have better things to worry about because I just assume everyone knows.  If you don't notice that I'm trans, then that's OK too.

Maybe the posted question or my comments seem less supportive than i feel.  To be clear, i am proudly out and no better than anyone else.  We may be farther along or in a different place than someone new.  Perhaps it is best to offer no suggestions for new people unless they ask but i like to think there are ways to be tactful too.?

We may have also been the ones who have suffered the ignominious comments from fashionistas .  So this can cut both ways, no judgement intended

I think for many people, being not passable is not something they can do much about. I mean, you can't change your bones without surgery. FFS is a LOT of money. A lot of trans girls are poor, or simply not rich. I get that. I'm not rich either.

I am not out to judge trans people or even cis people. I like good kindhearted people. I also like fun, badass people. As long as you don't judge.

There are a few trans girls (not here) that I know IRL that I would never go out with. That's because their attitude sucks. Not toward life but toward me. Why would I waste my time with negative people?

Quote from: iKate on June 22, 2015, 01:05:12 PM
I think for many people, being not passable is not something they can do much about.

Too true and yet some of us do like to learn and share those tips that might make a little difference for someone.  Doing so in a kind and tactful manner helps.

Quote from: iKate on June 22, 2015, 01:05:12 PM
Why would I waste my time with negative people?

IDK, unless there is some glimmer of hope, we may just be fanning the breeze

Couldn't care, because if I'm out with someone, it's because I like them for who they are - not what they look like. My cis friends don't judge me or decide whether they want to be seen with me based on my passability, that seems to be something that is restricted to other trans women. And any trans woman who judges me by that standard is not going to be my friend.

Quote from: kelly_aus on June 22, 2015, 07:34:27 PM
Couldn't care, because if I'm out with someone, it's because I like them for who they are - not what they look like. My cis friends don't judge me or decide whether they want to be seen with me based on my passability, that seems to be something that is restricted to other trans women. And any trans woman who judges me by that standard is not going to be my friend.

And making friends is a process that could start with going out with someone new and finding out what they are about.  Use of the regrettably loaded term "passable" need not be short hand for judging others.  We do learn by comparing the known to the unknown.  I'm trying to learn better ways to share information and support new people, not to judge or provoke anyone

I don't think about it.  I don't have a problem regardless of the passability of someone.  Hugs
Mariah