Ever since my last girlfriend 3 ago. I've been changing my sexual fantasies. I enjoy manly stuff, cars, work, buildings, power ..etc.  However I find myself  every night like any guy does, watch porn. But not just any, tg stories, anime, hentia. I wonder what's it like for a man to be not a man, but act as one. I'm not gay. The feeling of having a woman's groin, but not loading manly characteristicscharacteristics. I still want my own children in the future, my own DNA. I'm 21 yara old.

I be its not possible to have surgery unless you gone through hormones and grew breast is it?

Nothing says, you have to stop, enjoying " manly stuff, cars, work, buildings, power ..etc."

And as far as the operation, i dont know.

I sugest finding a therapist to talk these feeling out.

You may want to transition but not want to loose your place in society, or their could be various other reasons as to wh you feel the way you do.

A therapist will help you gain a better understanding of why you feel how you do.

Welcome to Susan's Place. The standard I had my surgery under required hormones, a year of cross living and therapy before SRS was permitted. My gender identity is female and I appear as female in public and private but I do engage in activities that for the most part are consider manly. I spent 30 years in the male role learning and doing much and it is better for me to blend that with the female side of me. Because of my female view, there are some activities like sports and porn that I have little or no interest in. As for children, I will never be able to have them. I could have saved samples before the surgery but at the time I figured I wouldn't be able to find someone to carry my child and that has proven correct.
In the state you are suggesting, you will find your sexual opportunities somewhat limited and at your age I am not sure if you would be ready for that. Another consideration is the surgery will greatly reduce the sex drive you currently have. That is not to say a woman lacks a sex drive but it is different than that of a mans.
I suggest therapy in order to understand your real feelings. Often in the early stages we block out part of our desires because it isn't socially acceptable to have the whole picture and we fantasize on just a small part of what we want. You may really desire to be a woman but it just seems unacceptable to your or you may desire something else in the sexual spectrum that you haven't considered. I didn't make a mistake in my decision but in coming here to Susan's in the 33 years I have been away from it, sexuality has become far more complex that I ever though it was.
Feel free to ask additional questions here and we will do our best to respond to them.

Assuming you're don't any mental issues I believe you could probably do it, but it would be quite difficult. It would be very unusual and you'd need to get a psychiatrist to write a letter (2 psych's probably) approving it and find a surgeon who'd do it. You'd need to convince the psych that its in your best interests, or to be cynical find one who'd write it anyway. You'd really want to be careful doing this as its way outside the usual thing that people do. It's bad enough being transgender, but you'll be in a much smaller group. Personally I'd be looking at seeing a decent psych about this regardless.

You can store sperm, but I believe it only lasts about 10 years, and you need to find someone willing to have children with you. That's hard at the best of times.

You'd need to take testosterone instead of estrogen if you didn't want breasts.

Quote from: nobody12345 on July 27, 2015, 08:29:36 AM
Ever since my last girlfriend 3 ago. I've been changing my sexual fantasies.

Real life rarely lives up to fantasies

Quote from: nobody12345 on July 27, 2015, 08:29:36 AM
I wonder what's it like for a man to be not a man, but act as one. I'm not gay. The feeling of having a woman's groin,

What are you going to do if you have this and you do not like the sensation or the result? There is no way back - or at least no way that is satisfactory. Are you aware of the levels discomfort you would need to go through?

Once your testes are removed you will become hypogonadic and subject to osteoporosis (brittle bones). You need to have either oestrogen or testosterone in your body to prevent this. If you get testosterone you will likely have a male sex drive and be unable to do anything about it. If you have oestrogen you will get feminised.

Quote from: nobody12345 on July 27, 2015, 08:29:36 AM
I be its not possible to have surgery unless you gone through hormones and grew breast is it?

No - you can have the surgery assuming you can find a surgeon who is prepared to do it, but most of them require a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria.

Surgery of any kind is a massive undertaking, and if you're considering this then I'd recommend you seek out a therapist - preferably a gender therapist - to help you investigate your options so you can do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable. It's your body and I fully support anyone's right to do as they will with their own bodies, but I recommend proceeding with caution.

Quote from: nobody12345 on July 27, 2015, 08:29:36 AM
I wonder what's it like for a man to be not a man, but act as one.

Removing your penis would only make you 'not a man' if you no longer identify as a man. I'm one of many transsexual men here (i.e. assigned female at birth, transitioned to male) and I haven't yet had bottom surgery, but my groin is not a 'woman's groin', because it's my groin. And so is my man-cave; it's a very manly man-cave indeed. So if you were to go through with this sort of surgery, I can assure you you would still be very much a man, and your groin would still be a man's groin because it belongs to you, no matter what it looks like. If you identify as male, then you are male and so is whatever's in your underwear. If you identify as female or gender-neutral, then whatever's in your underwear is also female or gender-neutral.

It sounds like you may have developed an interest in the sexual side of this sort of thing through enjoying porn, but I'd ask you to think of some of the more practical scenarios, because fantasy ≠ reality:

• You won't be able to urinate standing up. This isn't a major issue for me because I've been trained since childhood to use the cubicle, but cubicles aren't always available (or private) and there's something emasculating and inconvenient about not being able to use a urinal alongside all the other guys.
• You'll have trouble in the changing rooms, should you attend gyms or sports events. You'll always be self-conscious about getting changed in front of the other men and there aren't always cubicles for you to change in privacy.
• Guys check out other guys' crotches and if they notice an absence of a bulge there, it's an immediate red flag. You may find yourself being insulted, attacked or (yes) even killed if the wrong guy notices that your groin is flat. Transphobia, and transphobic violence, are very real indeed and your attacker isn't going to stop to check your chromosomes before their fists start flying.
• Medically, you'll need HRT for the rest of your life as you won't be producing the right levels of vital hormones, including testosterone and oestradiol. Of course, those artificial hormones aren't exactly the same as the natural ones - they're artificially produced, and they come with all sorts of preservatives, added ingredients etc. - and they have side-effects. You could even be allergic to them.
• You will, of course, be sterile, although you can prepare for that by freezing sperm.
• Sexually, you'll only be able to have penetrative sex if you use toys, fingers, etc. and your sex drive will plummet. You say you're not gay and are into women - have you considered how that would work on a practical basis? How difficult it might be to find partners who are willing to work with the combination of your gender presentation (male) & genital configuration (female) especially if your main target market is heterosexual women? Sadly, there are a lot of potential sexual partners out there for whom a non-standard set of genitals is a deal-breaker. Take it from me: it's a pain in the backside when you have to always explain your genital configuration to every new potential partner... and it can be heartbreaking if they refuse to take your relationship further because your underwear doesn't contain what they were looking for. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

The fact that you still want to be a man suggests to me that you might find it difficult to get a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, and this is what you'd need in most countries if you were to seek out this kind of reassignment surgery. There are probably places where you could get this kind of surgery without a formal diagnosis, but most reputable surgeons will not operate unless they have one. It's your body, and if this is something you want you should absolutely be entitled to have it if you wish. And yes, you can absolutely have surgery without taking any cross-sex hormones and without growing breasts. But you're going to find it difficult to find a reputable surgeon who would perform that surgery without a suitable diagnosis.

Being transsexual is absolutely not a fetish, and there's nothing sexual about it at all. If transsexuals want to have the opposite sex's genitals, it's because the ones we were born with are completely wrong for us and they cause us an enormous amount of emotional pain. If (as I suspect) there's a sexual fetish element to your query (I'm not being judgmental; I'd be the last person to criticise anyone else's fetishes), then there are ways you can experiment with this idea to see how you feel about it. You could always start by 'tucking' your bits away to see how you look with a flat groin (there's plenty of how-to info here that can help with that). There are even places on the Internet where you can get fake vaginas (and bodysuits that include fake vaginas) specifically designed for men who want to remain men but like the idea of having female parts for occasional fun times, and there are women who are into playing along. But this is a family site, so I'll have to leave you to Google that yourself. Why not give this a go if you're interested?

But if surgery is something you truly want, please proceed with caution, and make sure you have plenty of therapy so you know what you're doing first. I hope you can find some good & reputable people to help you, whatever you choose to do.

Good luck.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on July 27, 2015, 11:51:55 AM
Surgery of any kind is a massive undertaking, and if you're considering this then I'd recommend you seek out a therapist - preferably a gender therapist - to help you investigate your options so you can do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable. It's your body and I fully support anyone's right to do as they will with their own bodies, but I recommend proceeding with caution.

Removing your penis would only make you 'not a man' if you no longer identify as a man. I'm one of many transsexual men here (i.e. assigned female at birth, transitioned to male) and I haven't yet had bottom surgery, but my groin is not a 'woman's groin', because it's my groin. And so is my man-cave; it's a very manly man-cave indeed. So if you were to go through with this sort of surgery, I can assure you you would still be very much a man, and your groin would still be a man's groin because it belongs to you, no matter what it looks like. If you identify as male, then you are male and so is whatever's in your underwear. If you identify as female or gender-neutral, then whatever's in your underwear is also female or gender-neutral.

It sounds like you may have developed an interest in the sexual side of this sort of thing through enjoying porn, but I'd ask you to think of some of the more practical scenarios, because fantasy ≠ reality:

• You won't be able to urinate standing up. This isn't a major issue for me because I've been trained since childhood to use the cubicle, but cubicles aren't always available (or private) and there's something emasculating and inconvenient about not being able to use a urinal alongside all the other guys.
• You'll have trouble in the changing rooms, should you attend gyms or sports events. You'll always be self-conscious about getting changed in front of the other men and there aren't always cubicles for you to change in privacy.
• Guys check out other guys' crotches and if they notice an absence of a bulge there, it's an immediate red flag. You may find yourself being insulted, attacked or (yes) even killed if the wrong guy notices that your groin is flat. Transphobia, and transphobic violence, are very real indeed and your attacker isn't going to stop to check your chromosomes before their fists start flying.
• Medically, you'll need HRT for the rest of your life as you won't be producing the right levels of vital hormones, including testosterone and oestradiol. Of course, those artificial hormones aren't exactly the same as the natural ones - they're artificially produced, and they come with all sorts of preservatives, added ingredients etc. - and they have side-effects. You could even be allergic to them.
• You will, of course, be sterile, although you can prepare for that by freezing sperm.
• Sexually, you'll only be able to have penetrative sex if you use toys, fingers, etc. and your sex drive will plummet. You say you're not gay and are into women - have you considered how that would work on a practical basis? How difficult it might be to find partners who are willing to work with the combination of your gender presentation (male) & genital configuration (female) especially if your main target market is heterosexual women? Sadly, there are a lot of potential sexual partners out there for whom a non-standard set of genitals is a deal-breaker. Take it from me: it's a pain in the backside when you have to always explain your genital configuration to every new potential partner... and it can be heartbreaking if they refuse to take your relationship further because your underwear doesn't contain what they were looking for. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

The fact that you still want to be a man suggests to me that you might find it difficult to get a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, and this is what you'd need in most countries if you were to seek out this kind of reassignment surgery. There are probably places where you could get this kind of surgery without a formal diagnosis, but most reputable surgeons will not operate unless they have one. It's your body, and if this is something you want you should absolutely be entitled to have it if you wish. And yes, you can absolutely have surgery without taking any cross-sex hormones and without growing breasts. But you're going to find it difficult to find a reputable surgeon who would perform that surgery without a suitable diagnosis.

Being transsexual is absolutely not a fetish, and there's nothing sexual about it at all. If transsexuals want to have the opposite sex's genitals, it's because the ones we were born with are completely wrong for us and they cause us an enormous amount of emotional pain. If (as I suspect) there's a sexual fetish element to your query (I'm not being judgmental; I'd be the last person to criticise anyone else's fetishes), then there are ways you can experiment with this idea to see how you feel about it. You could always start by 'tucking' your bits away to see how you look with a flat groin (there's plenty of how-to info here that can help with that). There are even places on the Internet where you can get fake vaginas (and bodysuits that include fake vaginas) specifically designed for men who want to remain men but like the idea of having female parts for occasional fun times, and there are women who are into playing along. But this is a family site, so I'll have to leave you to Google that yourself. Why not give this a go if you're interested?

But if surgery is something you truly want, please proceed with caution, and make sure you have plenty of therapy so you know what you're doing first. I hope you can find some good & reputable people to help you, whatever you choose to do.

Good luck.

There is a male born person on the internet who does small home made dirty videos. Back in the 1980s he transitioned into a woman and later went back to a man, of course he couldn't change his bottom, but remove his top breast that formed. Still a very manly person but it sounds like he very charises having a SRT vagina but still being muscular.

I'm still attracted to women. However I remember whenever I had sex I always found it boring. I could barely feel pleasure, the only pleasure I got was from orgasms and bjs.

OK, I will give you the standard lecture.
Gender Identity is who you want to go to bed as.
Sexual preference is who you want to go to bed with.

You will find people on this board who are MTF with all 4 basic sexual preferences. Heterosexual, Lesbian, Asexual and Bisexual. There also are others out there like Pansexual which fits me though for years I though I was Asexual.

I uses MTF as an example because that is the direction you are considering but the same is true for FTM.

Your Gender Identity has no relationship to your Sexual Preference but as we said above, you will find available partners much harder to locate. It sounds like you would want a Lesbian partner but you would find very few who would desire your appearance. Even MTFs often find it hard to be accepted in a Lesbian relationship and you would be even less acceptable.

You need to consider the two items very carefully as they will determine the sexual part of the reminder of your life. If you decide wrong you might discover what Transsexualism is really about. I was one between age 13 and age 30 and as I tell other people, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and that is the truth. It's about as close as you can get to hell and still be alive.

Hiya nobody, im not going to give you a lecture because everyone else has done that already, and i have to agree with all of them. You see for years (24 years to be exact ) i have always hated what i had between my legs. I lost sleep over it, felt depression over it and i hated everything what came with it. Being seen as male, living as male and even sounding as male made me suffer internally. And because of this it effected my day to day life. (Which many on here may relate to) so i had my surgery because i knew who i was and not being able to live my life happy made me do it.. It was something i needed to do, not wanted to do.. and now i have im happy with me.. and that is the most important thing

So i ask you... are you happy with you ? Because if you are then that is great But if your not please see a therapist first because it is the right way to go. Because when you go down that road there is no turning back so you need to be 100% this is you..

Good Luck

QuoteThere is a male born person on the internet who does small home made dirty videos. Back in the 1980s he transitioned into a woman and later went back to a man, of course he couldn't change his bottom, but remove his top breast that formed. Still a very manly person but it sounds like he very charises having a SRT vagina but still being muscular.

You keep talking about sex. Transition is about identity,  not sex.

Not gonna lie don't get surgery. Look, I want surgery because I hate this mushroom look-a-like I was forced to have. For me it isn't about sex ( but the day I do have that with the right parts I'm sure it will rock), its because I was manufactured wrong. I am not a man. Do I like MMA, shooting guns and such? Yes l, but those things are not limited to gender. I love shopping, getting my nails done and such too. Either or, unless you despise your birth gender don't alter your body. It will be more negative then anything I can almost assure.

On a purely practical level,  do you have the $30,000 or so that it would take to pay for the surgery? Would you also be able to take 2 months off to recover from the surgery? Have you also looked into dilating to keep the vagina open and 6 - 9 months of genital electrolysis to prepare for surgery?

This is not something you do one afternoon. It takes a huge amount of preparation and after care and it doesn't always work. Some people have dreadful problems afterwards.

I'm kind of curious as to you motivation for doing this. Is it that you see your self as a butch lesbian, There are plenty of lesbians that take on the identity of being male. I could be way off,, but that's what it sounds like to me. I can't imagine any thing wrong with it just by the sheer fact that butch lesbians exist. I would say though that your most soundest approach to this problem would be to seriously talk these ideas over with a professional therapist because they have a lot of experience in helping people organize their thoughts and find paths to take to solve needs.

 But what are you actually right now?  Biological male living as male? or MTF pre-op?

Get thee to a therapist, this is something you need to talk to a professional about.

Quote from: stephaniec on July 28, 2015, 01:59:54 AM
There are plenty of lesbians that take on the identity of being male.

You know, most of the butch lesbians I've met identify as women.. Just because they may take on some 'masculine' characteristics does not make them male.

IMO, this is a perfectly legitimate thing to want.

There are a lot of women who have no problem with living as a woman with male parts below. Why should we give someone a hard time who wants to live as a man with female parts below?

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 28, 2015, 06:18:40 AM
IMO, this is a perfectly legitimate thing to want.

There are a lot of women who have no problem with living as a woman with male parts below.

And those women were born with those parts rather than have them created by a surgeon.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 28, 2015, 06:18:40 AMWhy should we give someone a hard time who wants to live as a man with female parts below?

Because this is different. You are not comparing like with like. This is having a surgical intervention with all the associated risks and the OP does not appear to be aware of the difficulties and issues involved. All most of us are saying is "find out what you are letting yourself in for" because this is not trivial. It is not a quick fix and there is no way back.

It deserves thought. What is wrong with that?

 

A gentle note, please don't let this thread degenerate...

Thanks all 

Katy

nobody12345 I hope you keep posting. It's an interesting topic, and I like to see everyone's response to it.

I'm with Suzifrommd on this one. I don't see much difference between standard transgender stuff and what nobody12345 wants. Neither one is particularly understandable from the outside.

If you were on HRT and presenting male I'd say SRS is almost certainly achievable from mainstream surgeons. I had some interest in it a year ago since I'm stuck presenting male for now, and I spent some time looking in to it. It's the never having HRT that I'm not sure about. I'd guess you could still manage it though if you tried hard enough.

My only concern, and its the same one I had for even starting HRT myself, is that you want to be as sure as possible before doing any of this stuff. I'd personally not want to cause myself more problems than I have already.

Quote from: chloeD33 on July 27, 2015, 05:09:50 PM
Not gonna lie don't get surgery. Look, I want surgery because I hate this mushroom look-a-like I was forced to have. For me it isn't about sex ( but the day I do have that with the right parts I'm sure it will rock), its because I was manufactured wrong. I am not a man. Do I like MMA, shooting guns and such? Yes l, but those things are not limited to gender. I love shopping, getting my nails done and such too. Either or, unless you despise your birth gender don't alter your body. It will be more negative then anything I can almost assure.

I think I would say I should have been a tomboy. A part of me wants to be with a man and another with a woman. However, like I said, penatrative sex with girls is really boring. The only time I had good sex was when I was really really high when I was 16. But it wasn't a sexual physical pleasure. I actually never got off.

When I as young , with my first girlfriend we had sex like 50 times in 5 months it was like whenever we hung out. It was like boring but still pleasurable. I think I would say though bjs are like 6 times better then anything else.

A penis is like numb. I can go half way down and pintch the skin and it doesn't even hurt. But a little higher and it hurts cause its sensitive. But. I just see my girlfriend moaning to every move. Makes me jealous.

i think I find myself watching more mtf pre op videos at night . but when I do I look for mtf with real women. So its technically not legally gay. But Its like almost the same thing besides top its bottom that's changed.

I do have my moms sensitive side. My eyes tear so easily i can't have contacts. Music at random times can get emotional out of nowhere, no matter how many times I've heard it

Last thing is when I was younger around 12. Me and my older brother where young and curious. Eventually we tried to give each other bjs and penatration. It was like a 5minute thing that 9 years later comes up in my head once a week. We never spoke about it after that.