Quote from: Stanna on June 07, 2015, 10:17:05 AM

3. Changes with low dose.

    I have not been able to see any physical changes so far. Mentally however I seem to have a harder time separating my male self from my female self. When in a social situation my mind keeps wandering into my feminine side and it makes me somewhat self conscious.
   

Stanna, this is so fascinating to me! Can you elaborate what you mean by struggling to separate these different sides while in social situations?

Hi Erin, it seems that since I posted that, I am not having much problem acting the part of the person everyone assumes I am. What I tried to relate was at that time I would sometimes, when in a social situation pull back into my self and feel the girl inside thinking about how I am presenting my self and then becoming quite self conscious. Before starting HRT,  my old male self would just take control in those situations, and now the girl (that I am) is doing the checking of my male presentation. Actually, it should not be hard to present male, I have been doing it for 59 years. Some day I will be able to just be me anywhere any time. But for now I must stay closeted.

Update on changes: I am over 7 weeks on low dose and can now report, that for the last 2 weeks my nipples have been sore and can now feel breast buds forming! I am excited about this but at the same time I need to hide these changes from everyone except my lovely wife, who is totally supportive.
       Stanna

Quote from: Stanna on July 15, 2015, 04:11:50 PM
Hi Erin, it seems that since I posted that, I am not having much problem acting the part of the person everyone assumes I am. What I tried to relate was at that time I would sometimes, when in a social situation pull back into my self and feel the girl inside thinking about how I am presenting my self and then becoming quite self conscious. Before starting HRT,  my old male self would just take control in those situations, and now the girl (that I am) is doing the checking of my male presentation. Actually, it should not be hard to present male, I have been doing it for 59 years. Some day I will be able to just be me anywhere any time. But for now I must stay closeted.

Update on changes: I am over 7 weeks on low dose and can now report, that for the last 2 weeks my nipples have been sore and can now feel breast buds forming! I am excited about this but at the same time I need to hide these changes from everyone except my lovely wife, who is totally supportive.
       Stanna

Ahh, thanks for clearing that up--that really does make sense!

Is your breast development after 7 weeks at the point where not making an effort to conceal would out you? Like, at this point, if you wore jeans and a black t-shirt while in guy-mode, would anything seem explicitly fem about you?

  The way I look overall I don't think anyone would say I look fem. I suppose if I wore a tight thin cotton shirt you would see something that looks more like tiny breasts than pecks, but someone would really be having to check me out well to notice. But at this point in my transition it feels good to at least know something about me is becoming fem. The rest of me looks all dude at this point, except that I do shave every where, but nobody in my family seems to notice this fact or they don't want to say anything.
  I really do enjoy the way I feel since starting HRT and the thought of speeding things up is creeping into my thought process. I am considering electrolysis this fall, and will probably up my dosage at the same time. However at the same time, I want to keep my transition on the DL for as long as I can.

   p.s. Erin feel free to pm anytime.
      Stanna

My endo started me on what he called the "maximum he could prescribe" of estradiol in March.  In in June, exactly 90 days from starting, I had blood work performed.  The result:  Estradiol 33.1.  I have checked one of the reference charts and it reports this as a level consistent with a post-menopausal female. The chart also indicated that this was also the level for males.

I have seen libido drop, odor disappear, and dysphoria disappear, but that's it.  No breast sensitivity or growth at all.  I'm beginning to wonder if he prescribed this dose purposely to see how I would react. IMO it definitely is not a dose that will promote my transition.  I am disturbed by this as I am now 5 mos. in and nothing seems to be happening.  I am scheduling GRS in Jan. '16 and feel like I have wasted precious time.  Will get labs again late this month and see the Endo in early Aug. If the labs come up with the same dismal results, some serious discussions will ensue.

Quote from: Stanna on June 07, 2015, 10:17:05 AM
I have not been able to see any physical changes so far. Mentally however I seem to have a harder time separating my male self from my female self. When in a social situation my mind keeps wandering into my feminine side and it makes me somewhat self conscious.

Interesting. What do you identify as differences between male and female thought patterns -- how do you know which state you're in?

    Eve, I think you are taking this discussion a little deeper than my feeble mind can go.

       

Quote from: Stanna on July 17, 2015, 10:58:40 AM
    Eve, I think you are taking this discussion a little deeper than my feeble mind can go.

     

Heh. Fair'nuff.

Hi,

Had my first 3 months checkup with the Endo yesterday and my estradiol was 32 and my testosterone had gone up 70 points to 638!

She felt that even after my asking if I should start taking spiro, that in her opinion, which I agreed to follow, the best bet was to double the estradiol and now I take it twice a day, this is now at the lowest normal dosage;  as I will continue with my slow transitioning plan.

Next appointment in 3 months.

Changes to report:  first month to a month and a half I had a lot of sensitivity in my breasts and in one case pain that woke me up, breast size has increased, same as the areola and nipple and also darker, now almost no feeling; Sex organs are smaller and less involuntary action, except the desired to ejaculate has returned. Veins are not as visible, but it could be in part caused by gaining approximately 7 pounds in the 3 months as my appetite has become voracious as well as needing food with a lot of flavor, think of Mexican Salsa or anything with a lot of spices! OH my love for chocolate Ice Cream has returned with a PASSION!!!! after having switched to vanilla like 10 or 15 years ago.  Skin is softer, less or no male smell, body hair growth possible slowed down but has come back in the last month.

Major change has been that in the past month a couple of hours before the time to take the estradiol pill, I would start having a low intensity headcase and found out that if I took my pill earlier the headache would go away.

Estradiol or transitioning is like speed, not that I have ever taken any drugs not prescribed by the doctor, but it is ADDICTIVE like others have mentioned!! I am glad that she has a cool head and followed my original request of a slow transition.

Hugs,

Emily

Quote from: Emily R on July 28, 2015, 11:45:19 AM
Hi,

Had my first 3 months checkup with the Endo yesterday and my estradiol was 32 and my testosterone had gone up 70 points to 638!

She felt that even after my asking if I should start taking spiro, that in her opinion, which I agreed to follow, the best bet was to double the estradiol and now I take it twice a day, this is now at the lowest normal dosage;  as I will continue with my slow transitioning plan.

Next appointment in 3 months.

Changes to report:  first month to a month and a half I had a lot of sensitivity in my breasts and in one case pain that woke me up, breast size has increased, same as the areola and nipple and also darker, now almost no feeling; Sex organs are smaller and less involuntary action, except the desired to ejaculate has returned. Veins are not as visible, but it could be in part caused by gaining approximately 7 pounds in the 3 months as my appetite has become voracious as well as needing food with a lot of flavor, think of Mexican Salsa or anything with a lot of spices! OH my love for chocolate Ice Cream has returned with a PASSION!!!! after having switched to vanilla like 10 or 15 years ago.  Skin is softer, less or no male smell, body hair growth possible slowed down but has come back in the last month.

Major change has been that in the past month a couple of hours before the time to take the estradiol pill, I would start having a low intensity headcase and found out that if I took my pill earlier the headache would go away.

Estradiol or transitioning is like speed, not that I have ever taken any drugs not prescribed by the doctor, but it is ADDICTIVE like others have mentioned!! I am glad that she has a cool head and followed my original request of a slow transition.

Hugs,

Emily

Thanks so much for updating us, Emily! I really look forward to anytime anyone reports in with detailed low-dose details

Good to hear that things are moving along, Emily. After my 3 month check, I had an little increase in Estradiol. I had added Dutasteride a month earlier. I had started with spiro  six months ago.

I wish that I could say that I had any change in breast development, but I can't. Nothing! Changes for me have come in the area of body hair, much finer and slower in growth, facial structure, thinner and my cheek bones are much more prominent, and skin, softer. I also seem to be very much more emotional!

I feel that I am right on the cusp in my transition. I thing that it will not be long before I am out to more people. I am not trying to intentionally hide as I wear totally woman's clothing, if in an andro style. I guess I will see how the next part of my journey goes. Some days I feel that I wish I could just go somewhere and start a fresh!

Hi everyone
Tomorrow will be my two months. I had an appointment with my endocrinologist on last Tuesday. My testosterone went to 387 and estrogen to 73. She ska my testosterone is below normal for a male and my estrogen went up.

I feel so much better. My stress is down, I don't get stressed, and I am not drinking as much as before. Now it is only socially and I don't drink a half a bottle of wine with no problem.

I have no breast growth yet but she said it might come later as my level continue to change. My skin is softer, hair is softer, body hair growth has slowed down, and I think the thinning area of my hair are thicker. 

She asked if I wanted to increase my dose but I said no because I still want to take it slow due to family. I wish I could increase but right now I feel so much better!

I have my next appointment in 3 months.

That's my latest news.
Melanie



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Islandgirl,

Your are really progressing at a fast rate.  Good for You!

Melanie,

I know how it feels holding back because of the family and responsibilities, it is unfortunate but some of of have to accept it and consider ourselves lucky in that we are able to manage without creating too much stress.

Good luck ladies and Hugs..

Emily

Thanks Emily. I keep being reminded that I am progressing. It is a struggle to turn off my inner voice that says ' go for it now!'. I agree that our pace of transitioning is often tied to family, work, or other circumstances.  Keeping positive and finding a balance is the key.

Melanie, good to hear  that you are feeling better and are handling the stress better. Continue to call on your inner woman to help when things get tough! You may not be moving through your transition as quickly as you would like, given other circumstances, but at least you are coming from the place of the woman inside of you, the one you are becoming!

Emily, island girl
It's all good. Even though I have to move slow I feel sooooo much better.

One other improvement is I have more empathy and think of things differently and calmly.

All good feelings.
Melanie


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Hi everyone,

  Thank you so much for sharing your stories and insights on how your transitions are going. It seems we all share a lot of the same ups and downs, but the resounding theme seems to be how good it feels to be moving forward in a positive way in our lives!
  I can't say how important it is, for me to hear and learn from such wonderful people that are traveling a similar path.
  And yes, Melanie, it is "all good"!

Love and hugs,    Stanna
 
 

It is great to read everyone's updates. We all have a lot in common with similar challenges. I hope to read many more updates, and I will continue to update as well.

Well, I've been on a very low dose of E and Spiro for the past almost 7 weeks now.  There was a tiny bit of breast pain in the first week, but that tapered away to virtually nothing soon after.  Though, when I squeeze them together now I can see the beginnings of cleavage which I never saw before.  Maybe they're just getting fatter .

Emotional volatility and hot flashes, those are the negatives.  Clearer/smoother skin, slowed body hair growth, improved mood, those are the positives.  My sex-drive is nonexistent and mild testicle shrinkage (10%?), which can be either positive or negative depending on who you are.

I'm also working on my wardrobe, telling people, and going out en-femme more often, but those aren't HRT related.

I went to see my endocrinologist today for the first time.  I got my HRT originally using Informed Consent from Planned Parenthood.  So today was a get-to-know-you appointment and to figure out where to go from here.  I feel like I've told my story about 100 times now, but I did it again for her.  In the end, they drew more blood to run labs so they could compare to my set of labs from 8 weeks ago before starting HRT.  She said pending good results, she'd probably increase my Estradiol, yay!  She's also increasing my Spiro, effective immediately.

All-in-all, things are looking up!

She asked me about my timeline for coming out at work and everything.  I told her probably when I hit the point of male-fail!  hah.  I don't have a plan right now, but when that happens I'll start talking to HR about setting a date.  Right now I'm just living a double-life...

    Hi.
     I was on gel for about a good year with no results. so my doctor put
   me on a low does of minevilli  patch for the last 3 months and now I
   feel a lot of pain when I touch them for the last 2 weeks! About how long would you
   say it could last? I am 70yrs old and love the feeling, is it just the start of them
   getting bigger.

    Thank You, janis

I assume you're talking about your breasts being sore to the touch?  That's normal and may last off and on for a couple years!  Couple days or weeks of pain, followed by none for a bit, then some more, off and on...