Quote from: Ms Grace on August 05, 2015, 05:13:38 AM
Just an update - yes, it has taken this long to get around to dealing with it!

Anyway, I just asked the HR woman if we could have a confidential chat. I said to her that I was transgender and that I hadn't told anyone - her response "you don't need to if you don't want to". I then told her that although I saw this as a very supportive and LGBT accepting workplace I wasn't ready to say anything until I felt ready. She was awesome and said everything was completely confidential. So, yay. And phew. 

That's pretty awesome. I am always of the opinion that HR should know. It helps protect you if there are laws against discrimination. In affirming workplaces they can also help you keep some degree of stealth.

My next job I am looking to be somewhat stealth. Not deep, deep stealth, I am just not telling anyone except HR.

I mean my current job is accepting and all but I have relationships with vendors who still have my old name in their address book. :\

And I suspect some of my colleagues are outing me to new people, probably not even realizing the harm it's doing, they figure they're just helping out, but they aren't.


At my job, I told one HR director behind closed doors and not even the other HR people seem to know as they interact with me just as any other woman. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. But my immediate colleagues do know.

Bad situation, good ending.

Hugs

Jen

Quite the relief I must say... but now I feel a little bit weird around the HR person. I dunno why, it's stupid, it's just because I know she knows something about me I'd rather she didn't. Ugh. Anyway, I'll get over it, it's nothing to feel uncomfortable about it and she isn't treating me any different.

I'm glad it all ended well Grace.  Hugs

When I was still working as a social worker I made sure HR knew about my gender difference because it was good to have them on my side.

A good outcome, Grace even if you now have a slightly different relationship with HR.  That is the thing giving me some thinking fodder.  The reason below.

I have transitioned in place (it is going well, I suppose) and unfortunately the field I work in is so small, I couldn't change jobs doing what I do and retain my privacy as there is lots of chatter even between Sydney and Melbourne.  Change country perhaps?

Your experience is interesting to me and the reason is that I am producing a 30 minute radio show on "Stealth" although I don't like the term as it comes with a fair amount of baggage in the trans world.  My focus is the right to expect your privacy to be respected so that you can get on with a happy and fulfilling life.  I am also not just focussing on trans folk but also straight-acting everybody.  In your recent experience, other than the HR relationship which isn't something you can gloss over as your response to that is real, everything seems to have worked as well as it probably should.  Not perfect but still...

Thanks so much for sharing.  You have highlighted an real life issue we can and probably will all face.

Emma