I have waited 6 weeks to see the councillor my Dr wanted me to see as he told me the councillor would be able to help me with the resources I am looking IE a therapist. I turned up this morning and met the guy, nice enough and he takes me back to his rooms and as we go to sit down he says to me I like to start counselling with the first session devoted to you explaining what it is you want to get out of counselling.

I was stunned and he caught me off guard, I eventually said to him, through gritted teeth, I am here to get a referral to see a gender therapist. He then starts to say to me, "can you explain to me why you  think you might need a gender therapist. I said to him I have Gender Dysphoria and can you please tell me what your experience with transgender people is and qualifications are. That stopped him in his tracks he didn't really know how to reply...I was angry at this stage...He admitted he had a general idea about "trans issues", I said to him I had spoken to my Dr and asked for a referral to a female gender therapist and My Dr had said I need to see you in order to get the information. I said I don't want to appear rude but you don't appear to have the skill set that I need to get help. He did agree with me but continued to ask questions...one I answered was ...In "what ways does my dysphoria impact me each day" and I struggled to quantify it... my reply was, it impacts everything I do, it impacts me in the part of me that is the essence of me . He asked a number of questions about how I coped and I explained that I dressed on occasions but that it was a double edge sword and that while dressed my dysphoria was much less but when I changed back it felt twice as bad. I think he got it and backed off.  He finally agreed that this was something for an expert and out of his league.

Once he realised we were not going to doing any therapy he relaxed and began to talk to me asking me questions trying to gauge the seriousness of the situation.

I finally said to him have I made it clear enough to you what I need and how I am feeling. He said from what you have described your situation is fragile and it is a life and death situation for you. I said to him I have to find a way to be comfortable in my own skin and I will do what ever I need to achieve it but I am going to do it.
 
I was really quite upset at this point I had yet again disclosed a very intimate part of myself only to find I was still no where near getting to someone that could actually help me. I walked back to the car and burst into tears. Got myself together about 10 minutes later. I feel emotionally flat, all that expended nervous energy and here is me thinking I might actually get the referral...nope back to square one. I want to scream...instead I am going to take my dog for a walk and get some fresh air.  If this all sounds a little disjointed then I am sorry I am just so angry because he has to speak to my Dr and then make the referral and then I will have to wait on the therapist appointment so I am still possibly months away from getting any help...now that is depressing thought.

Sarah T

Good for you for being assertive and clear about your expectations.  Your anger and frustration are very understandable. Many of us can relate to how important getting that therapist help, support and HRT letter are!  You sound nicely determined and I would guess you are not going to be deterred again.

Your Dr owes you an apology and ought to cover any costs you had for that misadventure IMO.

Good idea to take yourself and your dog for a walk too.  We all need to stay mobile and get that fresh air.....ahhhhh

Thanks Tessa

I tried really hard to remain polite and in control but did not manage it totally(keeping under control). In the latter half of the 30 minutes I spent with him he asked me what I thought about Caitlyn Jenner's transition and what it would or wouldn't do for the transgender community. I was barely able to contain myself but I kept smiling with the tears from his earlier probing still drying on my face, I could not believe he had asked me the question in light of what I had already told him and I thought the question highly inappropriate.

I talked to my partner and she is furious, she was also hoping this was the start for me so I might "get some relief soon" (her words). We talked about private therapy but it could take a long time and would cost more, if I wait I can see the Govt run local Gender Dysphoria Clinic who have all the resources and can help me make the right decisions so we as a family can get through as intact as possible. So I am going to wait for the referral...I hope it comes very soon.

Sarah T

I'm sorry to hear about your trials, but maybe I can offer a suggestion?

Do you absolutely need your Dr. to refer you to a therapist?  Here in North Carolina we can basically refer ourselves if we want to.  I went online to my insurance providers website and looked up a list of therapists that are covered, then I narrowed those down by their specialties, and picked the closest female that actually called me back to schedule an appointment.  I didn't need a referral, but maybe not all places are taking new patients and that's the need?  I don't know you particular location or needs though, but that's an idea you can look into.

Best of luck to you!  I know it can be frustrating playing the waiting game.  Planned Parenthood?  Informed Consent maybe?  lol.  Getting on a low dosage of hormones has helped TREMENDOUSLY to ease my dysphoria and not giving a crap attitude about how I dress now and so on, hehe.

Quote from: KristinaM on August 05, 2015, 08:55:13 AM
(SNIP)

...Do you absolutely need your Dr. to refer you to a therapist?  Here in North Carolina we can basically refer ourselves if we want to.  I went online to my insurance providers website and looked up a list of therapists that are covered, then I narrowed those down by their specialties, and picked the closest female that actually called me back to schedule an appointment.  I didn't need a referral, but maybe not all places are taking new patients and that's the need?  I don't know you particular location or needs though, but that's an idea you can look into. .....(snip)

Thankyou for the suggestions. Should I wish to have hormones or SRS then the only way I know to get them where I live is to be referred to the Government Gender Dysphoria Clinic which is what I was hoping they would have already organised. I am sure I could find a Psychotherapist privately but again there is a cost factor involved where the other service is subsidised. Depending on the outcome from yesterdays fiasco I would expect a call from my Dr next week when he is back from leave. Hopefully he will just organise the referral. I think part of the problem for me is that now I have reached a decision to dive headfirst into this and get my life on track being slowed up and mucked around just causes further heartache.

Sarah T

Kristina, Sara live outside the United States in one of the countries with socialized medicine. It's great in that you pay little or nothing for your medical care but getting that care can be a real problem at times. I have heard of wait times running months or longer before a person can receive care.

I have that problem with this web site as well. Often I have to pick out for the text were a person lives because profile isn't set and I suspect they are not in the United States.

Quote from: Dena on August 05, 2015, 04:46:16 PM
Kristina, Sara live outside the United States in one of the countries with socialized medicine. It's great in that you pay little or nothing for your medical care but getting that care can be a real problem at times. I have heard of wait times running months or longer before a person can receive care.

I have that problem with this web site as well. Often I have to pick out for the text were a person lives because profile isn't set and I suspect they are not in the United States.

That seems to be a consistent theme; in a socialized system, since everyone is paying they all get at least some say in what is or isn't covered. And if you're part of a unpopular minority, good luck getting anything quickly.

Granted it can also be terrible here in the States getting access or treatment, but there are places where there is great treatment and moving is at least an option if you're motivated and have the ability. I moved from Mississippi to San Francisco for example. However moving state to state is easier than from one country to another. 

Good, Fast, and Cheap; pick two of three.

You could additionally have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,109367.msg825414.html#msg825414

There is a link to a list with transgender friendly gp and psychs in Australia.
You just have to email there to have it sent to you...

maybe someone could give you a hint if they knew the area you are from...

And you could look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,192174.msg1713588.html#msg1713588

hugs

Thanks for the links Laura_7 I have continued to research and have discovered that basically all roads lead back to the SA Gender Dysphoria Clinic and any other treatment other than standard therapy is done via this clinic. So if you don't go there first you will end up there. Having been involved within the medical system as a chronic patient so I know how these cumbersome systems work. I need to be patient and I will end up with the right referral. My Dr is now is now back from holidays and I see him tomorrow for a "Please explain" what that was all about.