I had struggled with GD from early childhood and it got a lot worse at puberty. By the time I was in my  late teens it was a daily struggle to carry on but there was no available SRS in those days (late 60s, early 70s). Suicide was an ongoing risk and getting worse.

At age 24 my niece was born and my sister thrust her into my arms at a few days of age. THAT was the breaking point! I told my doctor, shortly after, that I wasn't going to make it to age 25 without surgery. By the kindest stroke of Fate, Dr. Biber came on the scene then and I has SRS six months after the birth of my niece.

Honestly, I would have to say that my tipping point was one day when I tried to force myself to imagine my future as a man to try and convince myself that the confusion I was having didn't mean anything... and I just couldn't do it, the idea of living as a man for the rest of my future days repulsed me, it felt wrong; and I knew then that I couldn't deny it any longer, but I still did try too; and it took me a while longer to finally accept it.

I'm sorry, is the complete question "what was your tipping point for starting transition?"

I mean everybody seems to be assuming that THAT IS the question. But there could be several other "tipping points" in life, in my own case:

--For realizing I hated having a guy's body: very early in life. Somehow i wasn't keen on my genitals, for some reason I just couldn't figure out

--For starting crossdressing very frequently: as a teenager when I saw my older sister wearing a tube top shamessly on the beach, when she had just started puberty and had already developed a nice pair of breasts, having tons of guys drooling for her, at that point I totally hated being a guy, I wanted to be like her and I felt so miserable

--For starting bodybuilding, my biggest stupidest mistake in life BTW. IDK really if it was the beatings in elementary, being threatened with a knife by an a-hole in high school, being bullied on a daily basis at the same period, being friendless and rejected as a"guy", wanting to "fit in" and being admired by my folks, siblings, classmates as opposed to ridiculed...

--For leaving my parents' home abruptly, with no income or place to go: gosh it was a myriad of things, mainly confusion about my gender issues while I had become a huge "guy" physically but my mother suspected I was secretly crossdressing, and didn't like women, just pretended I did, etc I was a total mess IDK why I didn't terminate myself at that point

--For moving away from my whole family to California, with a couple of guy friends, supposedly to start a rock band or enroll in the Musicians Institute: again, a myriad of things set off that abrupt decision. I just needed to go away somewhere else

--For moving back to my original city: again too many confusing things were happening to me, as well as a bit of drug and alcohol abuse and even smoking while living in California, because of huge work-related and survival stress and hating living as a "guy", on a daily basis

--For moving back to live with my parents: basically, feeling extremely lonely, vulnerable, suicidal and having been living in dumps filled with mice, rats, roaches, spiders --although I really don't hate them spiders much as the others lol, I rather fear the poisonous ones, but I do like how they look-- for years

--For starting HRT (not really transition, just full-fledged HRT): primarily, it was the fact that those advertised methods including herbs and similar stuff, supposedly aimed at developing breasts and feminizing the body, were a waste of time and money for me, but I was scared to death of HRT's supposedly terrible side effects.

--For realizing I am a transgender-transsexual person: I really don't know! I was already on HRT for more than a year and I still thought at that time that I was a crossdresser, I actually called myself a "t-girl" at that time, but didn't even know what that meant! I was in awe of actual transsexual women, feeling like they were some sort an impossible ideal for me to become. Like some sort of fantastic being with special traits and capabilities that I just didn't have and could never develop. I guess when I started getting on Web sites such as this one, is when I started "discovering myself", for the first time, and realized that being a transsexual is not about passing 100% as a cis female, or being an incredibly brave and strong-willed super-special human being. It is rather about KNOWING that one is (in my case) a woman inside, regardless of how accurate the body may be to match that feeling, as a true physical representation of that inner-being, specially to conform to our currently absurd social standards and stereotypes.

--For finally acknowledging I am a transgender/transsexual and REALLY ACTING UPON IT: When I read an AWESOME article from a successful transsexual woman, about orchi, how it did wonders for her before she was ready for SRS financially, regarding getting rid FOR GOOD of the poisoning agents that produced testosterone. I had always hated those things since I was a little "boy" anyways. I was about to terminate myself at that point, then I read that article, and a couple of months later, I finally had my orchi and t-shave. THAT DAY I was 100% sure I was no longer a "guy" physically, so my mind started to match my body AT LAST

--For starting seeing a psychologist and later, only briefly, a gender therapist: too much emotional baggage. Too much pressure/many questions from my folks about why I had no friends, no "girlfriend", failed at all jobs I got hired at, was locked in my room sleeping all day and doing all my stuff all night, to avoid my parents...

--For "coming out" to my parents: One day, it was just one day I just exploded and told them, crying, that the real reason I accepted going to the psychiatrist, was not "sleeping and social problems", but it was that I had hated being a guy my whole life, I had Gender Dysphoria or Harry Benjamin syndrome, confirmed by the doctor, and that was the root and cause of everything, all my personality and social problems

--For starting presenting as female, after more than five years on HRT, and almost as many after orchi and t-shave: even though I was scared as hell about not passing, being rejected, etc., I totally hated the idea of presenting as a so called "androgynous guy" so much, that I took a chance for the first time. My BF's support and encouragement was a huge help for me on finally doing this. I don't think I would ever have started presenting without him.

And there are so many other tipping points I haven't mentioned. But as usual, I already wrote a HUGE essay one more time which probably very few people will feel like reading in its entirety, if any. So I apologize in advance for taking up so much space in this thread. Maybe someone could find it an interesting story/read though. It's real stuff, commonplace in many MTF's lives actually, so it could be an eye-opener for the ones about to start transitioning. It's a roller-coaster, but it's worth the trouble, for finally becoming one's true self and slowly becoming a happier, more likable person and even getting some invaluable peace of mind.

Cheers

Bibi B.

I didn't really have a tipping point per se.  I've struggled with this most of my life really, but I didn't consciously know how to understand it and the scope of it.  So, one day about 4.5 months ago when I discovered the word transgender and learned about the stories of some other transgender children, things kinda clicked in my head like the tumblers in a lock.  I figured it was just "who I was" though and not "who I am."  But I soon realized otherwise, and then I suddenly started blooming into this whole other person that I always should've been!

Quote from: paula lesley on August 23, 2015, 11:05:00 AM

Ps. If this is spelt wrong don't go all weird on me, lol I'm Dyslexic. Which is *ucking hard to spell 

I'm Lessdicksic as well. 

I lived in Utah and was a member of the LDS church (Mormon).  I never did come out, I was discovered. The persecution from the church drove me away from the life I despised. I loved my spouse and kids but I could not handle the rest of it. It totally destroyed my family and I was practically forced to leave the state. Mom wrote me a letter telling me to do so. The company I worked for was pulling illegal psychological crap on me. My lawyer found out about it and the next day the corporate lawyer from Colorado was on site to help me leave the company. They gave me three months pay and I was off too California the next day.

It was the late 80's and it was still just as hard in CA. I went through three jobs before I could escape my past. Once that was behind me, I did okay.

Cindi

Watching Cosmos was my tipping point! Don't get me wrong here, I had been dealing with GID since childhood. But I kept saying that my passion, science, couldn't care less for gender and so repressed my desire to transition. But then science itself reminded me how small and how insignificant we are in the vastness of our universe. Hence, there is no need for unnecessary stress while occupying our little spot in space during an infinitesimal slice of time. I opened up to all those near and dear and embarked on this amazing journey.

I know this borders the esoteric, but it's truly how it happened!

M


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I did not have the "I am a girl" realization at a young age. I just dressed like one when no one was around. I kept doing that all my life. I was so confused or in denial that I did not even consider myself a cross dresser. Transgender (transsexual) was not even an option.

I guess a few years ago I hit a spot of depression and self loathing. I started doing some web searches. I even created an account on this site but blocked it out of my mind somehow. When I went to join this past January, it stated I already had an account. I was blown away by the fact that I made one two years ago and not remembered.

It could be argued that my 50th birthday did it. I am not sure about that. It might have been the tipping point. Somehow I started looking at what I did and terrified myself by admitting I might be a cross dress, but did not stop delving and searching. In the research and reading, two things hit me:

(sorry, somehow my tab button does weird things)
1 the urges never go away
2 my urges and reasons did not fit the descriptions I found of cross dressers
3(okay I lied, 3) cross dressers are generally accepted as part of the spectrum of transgender

I panicked and had to get help. Went to a therapist, continued to do research and well if you want a boring read, you could read my progress from there. Most of it is on this site.

The  weird thing I realized in the past week or two is how much I hate to see myself in the mirror. Well, I have known it but not realized why till recently.  I also saw a few posts recently talking about hair lose. Years ago my SO suggested I could see a doctor about that  but I thought it was vain and I should tough it out like people had always done. However, that too may have contributed to the tipping point. And the hair on my body and the fact I don't recognize myself in a mirror(who is that old man?) and never have and , and #$*&ing and...

Don't know if that is what you were looking for.

Joanna

Great thread and posts!  I tipped so often I was going in circles   I had tell tale clues all my life and secretly assumed I would magically become a girl and mom until puberty.  Then I began an odyssey of coping and internal anguish.  As awareness blossomed around me i attempted a transition in the early 90s, failed and became even more miserable in my private life while apparently seeming successful in other realms.  As your initial post says so well, I did not want to have any further regrets for not being true to myself.  I had everything but it was worthless to me as I lived a lie.  I feel much better now with transition.

It has been said thousands of times here but, I would advise all of us to be true to ourselves and live without regret.  We only get one go around we can be sure of.