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Female or male Gender therapist?

Started by chance, August 31, 2015, 01:02:14 AM

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chance

I have a question for those that have looked for or found a gender therapist or anyone with ideas about it.  Does it matter if I get a male or female gender therapist as a FTM?  Just looking for other's experiences or thoughts on the matter since I feel like how's the time for me to find one.  In my area I'm not sure how many gender therapists there are.  I want one that knows what they're doing.
What are your thoughts or comments on this topic?



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Valwen

when I first started seeing a therapist about a year ago I had found a woman on there site who had experiance with LGBT patients. I figured as a MtF It would be easier talking to a woman about things. But she no longer worked there and the person at the counter recomeneded this guy and I was very concerned about it. He has worked out great, Ok its clear he has more experiance dealing with FtM in the past, part of his training was working with a ftm group situation but that has little to do with the therapy. He is not there to teach me how to be a woman he is there to help me figure out who I need to be. it also helps that he is a unabashed geek so we have that to bond over and my geek refrances dont go over his head.

so I would say the gender of the therapist is not as important as finding one you can talk to and be comfortable around. Your going to get more out of it if you can be honest and direct than if your constantly afraid they may misunderstand you.

Serena
What is a Lie when it's at home? Anyone?
Is it the depressed little voice inside? Whispering in my ear? Telling me to give up?
Well I'm not giving up. Not for that part of me that hates myself. That part wants me to wither and die. not for you. Never for you.  --Loki: Agent of Asgard

Started HRT Febuary 21st 2015
First Time Out As Myself June 8th 2015
Full Time June 24th 2015
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MeganeRei

My therapist who specialises in LGBT+  is a female but she has had a lot of experience with both transmen and transwomen.

I don't know if I had a preference of a male vs a female therapist, but right now I'm content with my therapist. I agree that just finding someone you're comfortable with is important, regardless of their gender

I do agree it's good to have a therapist who is knowledgable and objective and whatnot, again, regardless of their gender.
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JS UK

As MtF I think I'd feel more comfortable with a female therapist. I'm not quite sure why but I think it may be easier to discuss something so intimate with another woman.

J xx
If you want to walk on water you've got to get out of the boat!
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MichelleZelda

My therapist specialising in LGBT+ is actually FtM himself. I'm really making progress, and he's been a great therapist. He told me a bit about his journey, which was very helpful because I've been so unsure... it's been a huge weight off my shoulders.
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Qrachel

Great Question:  the simple answer is who would you be most comfortable with (and how much experience do they have with FTMs)? 

Take care,

R
Rachel

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."
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FTMax

It's all down to personal preference. I personally wouldn't care either way.

Coincidentally, the first therapist I had was a woman. I had a bad experience with her, fired her, and just so happened to switch to a guy. Had no issues with him, and am planning to go back for my bottom surgery referral. I don't think my issue with the first was in any way affected by the fact that she was a woman. I also don't think my lack of issues with the second had anything to do with the fact that he was male. I think it matters most that they are experienced and that you mesh well personality wise.
T: 12/5/2014 | Top: 4/21/2015 | Hysto: 2/6/2016 | Meta: 3/21/2017

I don't come here anymore, so if you need to get in touch send an email: maxdoeswork AT protonmail.com
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iKate

I am MTF and I would always go to a woman.

There are guys who are great therapists but my experience with guys bullying and ridiculing me when growing me up is enough to make me not want to trust my innermost innermost feelings to a guy. Also I had much deeper meaningful friendships with women. I never clicked with guys until later in life and that's only because of the hobbies we enjoy.
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rachel89

I would prefer a woman, but there are not many choices for therapists with lots of experience with transsexuals in my area, so I see a man for right now.


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KatelynBG

I honestly wouldn't choose a male therapist, familiarity with Trans folks or not. I've had 3 therapists in my life and all were female and I like it better that way.
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Valwen

I breifly saw a woman years ago, she was not a gender specialist but still. she spent most of all 3 sessions trying to conivince me that all my problems where due to my parents no loveing me or something. it was useless. the guy I am seeing at least lets me have my own opinons.

Really gender means very little as long as they have a friendly, kind attitude and know what they are talking about.
What is a Lie when it's at home? Anyone?
Is it the depressed little voice inside? Whispering in my ear? Telling me to give up?
Well I'm not giving up. Not for that part of me that hates myself. That part wants me to wither and die. not for you. Never for you.  --Loki: Agent of Asgard

Started HRT Febuary 21st 2015
First Time Out As Myself June 8th 2015
Full Time June 24th 2015
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JS UK

Quote from: Valwen on August 31, 2015, 06:02:53 PM
I breifly saw a woman years ago, she was not a gender specialist but still. she spent most of all 3 sessions trying to conivince me that all my problems where due to my parents no loveing me or something. it was useless. the guy I am seeing at least lets me have my own opinons.

Really gender means very little as long as they have a friendly, kind attitude and know what they are talking about.

Hi Valwen,

I think that's a fair point and makes much sense.

As a woman though I just feel more comfortable discussing these issues with another woman, especially since I've spent all all my life trying to fit in with men.

I certainly felt it was easier discussing this issue with my mum than it was with my dad.

Julie xx
If you want to walk on water you've got to get out of the boat!
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MuvaQueen

to me the gender of my therapist is VERY important and I refuse to have a male therapist. that would make me uncomfortable.
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chance

Better late then never.....  Sorry I haven't responded to these very helpful posts. They all giv me exactly the info I was looking for. I'm not sure if I'd be more comfortable with m or f but I'm relieved to know that's it's more about where I am and my comfort with them. Now I just have to find one in Midwest, like Peoria, IL or Iowa city. Thank you all for being so open and helpful!!


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Anne Blake

Hello Chance,

The purpose of getting therapy is to help you work through issues that are important in your life. The therapist needs to be one that is skilled in ways that can help them help you work through those issues. They need to be able to connect with you and help you process. They also need to be someone that you can feel comfortable with; enough so as to open up and be vulnerable with. This all comes down to skill sets and personality compatibility; gender is a big part of this. It is all about who you can be comfortable with. Your call

For me, my therapist happens to be a woman and I don't think that I would be able to be as open and honest with a man. But once again, your call.
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AlyssaJ

Quote from: chance on August 31, 2015, 01:02:14 AM
I have a question for those that have looked for or found a gender therapist or anyone with ideas about it.  Does it matter if I get a male or female gender therapist as a FTM?  Just looking for other's experiences or thoughts on the matter since I feel like how's the time for me to find one.  In my area I'm not sure how many gender therapists there are.  I want one that knows what they're doing.
What are your thoughts or comments on this topic?

It's all about what is most comfortable for you.  Finding a therapist that you feel comfortable talking to is what is important not what gender they are.  Male, female or non-binary therapists are all equally capable given the right experience and training.  The key is to find one that understands the challenges you're facing and that you're comfortable talking to.

For me, I knew I wouldn't be comfortable talking to a male therapist.  No matter his qualifications I just knew that it wouldn't be a good environment for me to open up.  So I set out specifically to find a female therapist and was lucky enough to find an amazing one who is well experienced in working with transgender clients.
"I want to put myself out there, I want to make connections, I want to learn and if someone can get something out of my experience, I'm OK with that, too." - Laura Jane Grace

What's it like to transition at mid-life?  http://transitionat40.com/



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Nora Kayte

The gender is not as important as having good chemistry with that person. But in doctors and therapists I always seek out women if possible. I am just more comfortable with women.


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Rambler

When I first started looking for a therapist I definitely kept an eye out for women because I just felt more comfortable with it. I probably would have been fine speaking with a man, at the end of the day I think k it comes down to client-counselor relationship and comparability at the individual level. When it was time to begin HRT  and I started looking for doctor's I also hoped for a woman but ended up finding a male doctor through the clinic I go to. Again, I'm perfectly happy with no issues what so ever. It's all personal preference and comfort.
Up and away and off I go to lose my mind and find my soul.
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