Quote from: Laura_7 on September 04, 2015, 05:58:34 PM
Well by the way if you don't like those glare displays there is a foil which reduces glare...
I prefer matte displays which don't mirror much the surrounding...
if you wear a white tshirt and the lighting is unfavourable you mostly see the shirt 

I'm not too worried about that cuz I will probably be recording in the dark at night or inside lol

And it would be a windows laptop or have you considered a mac ?

I would DEFINITELY want a windows (7 if possible)

  I understand.

Also the choice of 7 

As said... if you want to play with linux one day there are evaluation dvds. You can even make them yourself, just downloading and putting on a usb stick.

What is an evaluation DVD?

Its a dvd with a fixed operating system on it.
You don't have to install it, its just started from dvd or usb stick.
You can play around and have a look at another os, for example linux.
If you are done you restart your laptop and return to your usual os.

Its ideal if you don't want to change anything on your system but want to try out something new.

Ah okay. I will probably stick with what I know though but thanks.

Yep... first get used to the new system 

This got very off topic..

Quote from: JackieFox on September 04, 2015, 06:46:15 PM
This got very off topic..

Well discussions sometimes go off topic... and as said you have something to look forward to 

Yeah I guess I do

this applies to some extent for me too. after a psychiterist convinced them that ther is no thing as Gender Dysphoria and this is obcession to gender.they told my parents to survillance and prevent me to access internet and other resources. they monitered too much.since i was in my college i usually become much anxious that i scratch and cut myself.many a time i was just so close to suicide but i thought maybe a great life waits me ahead if i made it and i prevented myself in. The only thing calmed me was a hope of my oneself life. i hate forced mascualinity since i was a kid. i knew when i was a a little grown younger that my parents wont allow me to transition.so i waited and concentrated on my studies,got engineering and waited  until i got financially independent. i started my transition since then.i am working in MNC.Still my parents dont understand me ,my [friends] cut out from me in fear of lawsuit from my so called family, including my best friend.i am all alone ,but its my life.i dont know whether i get another life or not; but this life, want to be myself and god is with me.     .if you can't do anything for a time concentrate on you skill set so as to survive and make a path to your transition.

...
today i destroyed my previous photos and videos except for legel ones i feel great.i never want to go back. its more than my worst nightmare.

That's actually pretty inspiring believe it or not. And I start my first week of work ever next week actually so.. Yay? Lol

Quote from: JackieFox on September 16, 2015, 01:38:25 PM
That's actually pretty inspiring believe it or not. And I start my first week of work ever next week actually so.. Yay? Lol

Great 

What kind of work do you have ?

Cashier. So nothing glamorous.

Quote from: JackieFox on September 17, 2015, 10:58:32 PM
Cashier. So nothing glamorous.

A job is what you make of it. JC Penny started out working in a store for somebody else. Look up JC Penny founder and you will find an interesting character.

I'm so sorry that you're in such an awful situation. You don't want to tell your parents because you don't want to worry them. This is about you, you need them to know. Do you have a computer or is there a way you can have access to one? Maybe you could try emailing a few therapists or doctors.
http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html has a list of all the certified gender therapists. You could try shooting an email to one of them.

If you still have the urge to cut, you could try taking a red marker and make "cuts" on the site where you usually do it. It really helps me when I want to.
Good luck! Things will get better.

I would love to be able to email therapists but my parents could potentially find out about it by looking through my email.

Quote from: JackieFox on September 20, 2015, 01:54:43 AM
I would love to be able to email therapists but my parents could potentially find out about it by looking through my email.

Well you can set up a new email account... just use a web interface.

You're a step up on your road to recovery by getting yourself a job. Yeah it's not glamorous but you can move up in retail quickly and make more money. I've been working retail jobs since I was 16 and never stepped away from them because there is always an opportunity. I make more money than a lot of college grads who are just stepping into their line of work. My cousin graduated top in his law school and has not been able to find a job for 5 years. So you are doing a lot better than most people . My only advice and it's probably not very good, is to continue to focus on your happiness. Keep your mind occupied with work, and things that you enjoy doing. My best friend of 15 years use to cut himself too before his transition. He ended up in a mental hospital about 2 times because he would just snap. He hasn't cut himself in about 12 years now. I think he kept his mind busy with his music and art. I will send him a text and see what things he did to get himself out of the cutting.

his response* He basically said that he got older, realized he was hurting people around him, and found out that he could get sick from it. Those were the major factors for him to stop.