Quote from: Steph on December 10, 2007, 09:58:52 PM
Quote from: Sarah on December 10, 2007, 09:26:26 PM
Hmm,
I'm new here.
But If I had to say which myths in and arround/about our community that NEED to die a very quick death...
#1: Trans. people are pervs, that just want to sneak into restrooms so they can see girls naked.
-Yeah, that one needs to die.
#2: Taking herbal supplements like phyto-estrogen is dangerous, and/or innefective.
-This one really gets me riled up, as I use herbals just fine.
#3: All trans. people are depressed and/or at risk for suicide, and/or need therapy.
-Well excuse me! I'm sorry, I know our numbers are high compared to other focus groups, and it is a real problem for many in our community; -but not all! Some don't have these sort of issues, and it can be frustrating to hear the FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt) all the time! It tends to lead people to thinking that those who aren't are lying, and/or just being arrogant or something. It's just not true.
Kill this! Quick!
#4: 20-somethings and younger share the same values and beliefs about being Transgendered as the "old-schoolers", and if we don't, we're just being arrogant, snotty little kids.
-This is not just a transgender issue. This of course applies to everywhere, But my generation in general (Gen Y) does not value the same stuff as any previous generation. We tend to ask "why?" and we don't get an answer, or the answer we get is not satisfying, and/or make sense, we tend to not do it. Period. We tend to be critical thinkers and skeptical, and unintimidated by making change happen. This tends to scare the older Gens, as we just don't "go along with it". We also tend to be pretty pissed and Un-impressed or even down right angry with teh way the previous Gens have run things(global warming, national debt, anyone?). So we speak our mind. And we tend not to care whether anyone else likes what we have to say or not. Some things need to be said (like Pro life, Pro War???). That said, we base our respect for our elders off their actions, and not their seniority (we think respect is earned and natural based on one's actions, not entitled)
-So generally when we disagree, we say so. And often loudly.
-One thing regarding sensitivity for us (gen Y and younger). Previous generations (especially generation x) tended to (and do) regard therapists, therapy, psychology, councilling and psychiatry very highly. We (my gen) tend not to, and in some cases are extremely and very, VERY hostile towards the subject and /or even the suggestion. Especially those of us who are transgendered. Many of us were forcibly hospitalized or put in "behavioral modification programs" to try and "modify", shrink, or medicate our transgender-ness out of us. I remember very clearly when the therapists stole my clothes, and I was marched into a room full of age-peers and parents of such to have my own mother (at the therapists suggestion) pull my training bra out of the paper bag where they had stached it, and procede to drape it over her head in an effort to use humilliation to get me to "change my 'innapropreate' behavior". Even thinking about it fills me with rage. I had not yet come out, or even begun to address within myself what I was. This sort of thing is common place with kids therapy and is beyond innapropreate. It deserves prison in my opinion.
I know a lot of my generation who shared similar "therapy" experiences.
Which leads to the final myth:
#5: Suggesting Therapy to someone is OK.
-It's not. Especially not to those of us who had it forced on us as children. And of the transgendered youth that's probably most of us.
Be REALLY careful with this! Approach the subject REALLY carefully when talking to someone 20-ish and younger. We were therapied enough! To us, this is like asking us if we have found Jesus. Keep your religious, and Psychological beliefs to yourself unless you know it's ok to talk about! You are guaranteed to get along with Generation Y much better that way!
-Some thoughts
-Sarah
Angry...
Never the less...
It seems that you were not treated well by us gen x'ers. That's so sad, but please don't use such a wide paint brush. We are not all bad. This is a support site and folks come here looking for support which is given based on the experience and knowledge of the folks giving it. They don't have to take heed of the advice given, but if we are asked we will give it and give it unconditionally. Everyone is treated with dignity and respect, and i hope that you will see this.
As far as the therapy thing goes, you say that "We were therapied enough", who is the "We" are you referring to all? It would be irresponsible of us to advise folks to take an attitude like "Ya, you know best, just go out and do your thing, what the heck do we care, we've never seem folks self destruct here before". It's safe to say that many of us resented being told that "We" need to be in therapy (myself included) for who knows better than I do, I know what I want, I know what's best, it's my life. Truth is many times that leads to tragedy. So if we advise on something that members don't agree with so be it, they don't have to take it. Remember, if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
Steph
Posted on: December 10, 2007, 09:54:13 PM
Myth...
That all post op's are arrogant know it alls, who are suddenly blessed with infinite wisdom.
Like many we simply have experience - good and bad.
Steph
LOL
I don't paint you all(gen x) with the same brush. LOL
I have many good gen x friends, (even some who are therapists by proffesion!)
Just keep in mind, Therapy is not a universally accepted "good" or "effective" thing.
Some view it as quite harmful and have experience to back it up.
When I speak of "us" I clarified that in my post. Gen Y.
Most I know, my age tend to agree with me on this:
Therapy often does more harm (sometimes irreparable in this lifetime) than good.
There are other methods.
As I said, I know that it is great for some, but not for all and for some, therapy simply can't work.
Other methods like meditation, yoga, tai chi -are far more effective and safer.
To me, and to many I know of my age range, suggesting therapy is sort of like suggesting I need Jesus.
It brings to mind arrogance, ignorance, and insensitivity on the suggesters part.
Oh, we know, they mean well, -so do the Christians!
But it's just not appropreate.
Gen X tends to have a hard time understanding this, and they tend to respond to this sort of thing as you have.
But I deffinitely have noticed that we of my generation tend to not accept the findings of "therapy" as scientific fact or laws of the universe. And the idea that someone who went to school for councilling, who does not know me or anything about me, could "treat" my "problems" is absurd to me. This also ties into my problems with the current trend to give every little personality quirk a "diagnosis" and to medicate everything under the sun that might be ever so slightly uncomfortable.
LOL
So don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with people using it, but it is a religious belief as far as I am concerned and one I do not share. I don't like Proselytizing.
I mention it because your generation tends not view the subject as a religious belief or "worldview" and whereas mine does.
You do of course what you feel is right, but keep in mind, If you are a Christian, everybody else needs Jesus.
-Sarah
Posted on: December 10, 2007, 10:33:13 PM
Tekla:
Is "we"a generalzation? Of course it is.
I'm going to use it anyway though.
I speak for myself and for and from my own experience.
I know too many people who agree with me of my generation.
I'm not afraid to use words. And I won't be politically correct.
I'm not going to use that "own the statement" psychological stuff.
Do you understand that when someones says something like "you always.." that they don't really mean
literally,
exactly, that "you, always, do.."?
I call it like I see it, and experience it.
I brought it up, because suggesting therapy to some people is highly offensive, and as I see it there is a myth that:
"Suggesting therapy is appropreate for everybody"
My meditation practice works just fine for me thank you!
LOL
These are pretty much the responses that I expected from older folks;
Reminders of exceptions, speech corrections, political correctness, defensiveness.
LOL
*sigh*
oh well..
I tried..
