I'm going to have a major rant now because this is very frustrating!

I've not been my best lately. I'm growing older and supposedly wiser and I'm becoming more aware of certain things that affect me. Issues that have been present my entire life that I've not really been aware these issues are specific to mental illness. I always perceived the issues I've faced to be part of everyone's normal life. To cut a long story short, so far I have discovered I have ADHD traits alongside lifelong complicated (therapists words not mine) social anxiety.

So I decided to let a few people know why I haven't been very sociable as of late. And their response, in correspondence to psych assessment folk also they all presume its because I've 'been through a lot lately'. A lot being the GRS that's been going on.

They couldn't be far more further from the truth! My gender reassignment feels right now the only thing in my life that is stable and positive. The only thing I feel I have control over.

I don't have SA because I'm trans!! Why would this be so automatically assumed by everyone? Its like they think anytime things aren't right, something goes wrong... Its because I'm trans??

it's because a lot of people have social anxiety because they feel like they can't be themselves, comfortable, etc. and a lot of that is because they're trans. you will see people who say they're more confident and not so socially anxious because they are now seen as their preferred gender after starting hormones, coming out, whatever. people won't assume every problem you have is because you're trans, don't worry.

Something people don't understand is it's possible to have two unrelated conditions at the same time. The example used in my group over 30 years ago was mental illness and transsexualism but we understand the brain far better today and there are people on the board who have forms of autism and are transsexual. One of the reason for therapy is to sort through all these conditions to ensure none of the other conditions would interfere with your ability to make a wise decision on surgery. As you know, ADHD is another part of the brain and would not interfere with your decision to have surgery.

Social Anxiety is the worst mental illness you can have.

It's ruined my life.

People like to be able to pinpoint things.

"Oh, you have social anxiety and you're trans?" Then that's because you're trans".
"Oh, you have social anxiety and a bad childhood?" Then it's because of the childhood.

Anything that "explains" your anxiety and lies within yourself seems easier for people to sort of "justify" what they are feeling (if they have anxiety) or when they see others experience the same. For me, it has been very confusing to have anxiety and not know exactly where it's coming from.

But I agree that it is annoying that people always want to pin it on something (especially something they perceive as a difficult thing).

I suppose at least they're acknowledging your trans status and that it's something you're going through. Lately the people in my life have been trying to attribute all of my problems to anything but the trans, or just trying to make out it's some deliberate deficiency or misbehavior in me, or even just attention whoring on my part... none of which is true.

If they want to believe it's because of that, it's probably a waste of energy to try to correct them. I notice if you tell people a list of your problems, the trans thing comes out on top as the most drastic so they'll prioritize it mentally, and probably think it causes the rest or is the "root" of all your issues.

Personally I believe trans does have something to do with SA, as I have SA too and much of my social discomfort comes from feeling like a bear in a dress. Not literally - I don't wear dresses or look much like a bear ofc - but I do feel as if I don't belong with either men or women and I've no doubt that contributes to the problem, even if the SA does have multiple roots.

I don't doubt that a little bit of my SA is down to me being trans, but most certainly not the majority. I have a constant feeling/awareness that I'm not able to perform tasks and such as efficiently as 'normal' people and so I know I'm looked at as being thick in most situations. My disorganization and forgetfulness hold me back a lot too.

I don't blame professionals having to look at it, its their job I guess. But having to hear "well you have been through a lot" from almost every family and friend is frustrating beyond words. With or without my transition, I'm still a social reject :/

Most people don't really understand either transgenders or the fact that we can have issues like everyone else that have nothing to do with being a transgender.  For some it may be just another excuse to prove that transgenders are sick and not right in the head. There were certainly enough people in my high school class that developed bipolar, anorexia, suicidal ideation and other problems and they weren't transgenders.

The same can be said for other disorders as well. We tend to label people by their problems, both psychiatric and physical and them blame anything else that surfaces on that initial label. When I first took that long psychiatric test they give for evaluation of mental illness to see if I was truly a transgender, the diagnosis' of borderline personality, schizotypal personality and psychotic tendencies were listed in my report. All were attributed to my being a transgender. Interesting that the other diagnosis continued while the HRT and surgical therapy "cured" the anxiety of feeling like a guy in a girl's body.

Try not to let it bother you. There will always be people who blame your transgender issue for all your other problems or use it as an excuse to prove their point that we are simply sick confused people.

sam1234