Sandy, I have "purged" and walked away a number of times when I was younger. I too thought my life would be easier. Trust me, it wasn't and I was soon once again exploring my feminine self with nothing gained and time, expense and opportunities wasted. However, perhaps you SHOULD try once to "turn your back on your transgender feelings" to see what happens. If you re-engage with your male self 100% and are happier for it, then great. If you find you need to rejoin the TG world to find some inner peace, then welcome back and stop being hard on yourself. You now know. Just dont do what I did - relearn the lesson three times.