Hey I can relate to all you are talking about...
I always knew I was female, and of course I wanted to be with my kind, then as I got older and the differences really kicked home I envied the clothes, everything that made them women, the hardest bit for me was watching my children being born, so wishing it were me.... But alas my parents and nature made sure I was not capable of that!
It is quite normal, it may be good to see a gender therapist to help you find yourself, although deep inside you probably already know who you really are.
Hope that helps slightly..
Katy xxxx