Hey, all. This is a silly thread, but I'm not exactly rolling in irl trans acquaintances I can share things with, so y'all get the brunt of it. 

Guess what? I passed for the first time today.

I was walking home when a guy came up to me and told me that "[his] friend had bet him that [he] couldn't get a boy's number," then asked for mine. Cheesy pick-up, but there was one word in there that stood out, haha. I knew I wouldn't pass upon repeat inspection, so I gave a fake number, but we exchanged names and he asked if I'd go out for a drink with him twice, even after hearing me talk. (Thank you, minor illness, for giving my voice a little bit of gravel.)

Alright, so I must look a little gay... but what the hell, I am a little gay! I'd swear off girls for life if it meant this would happen again. Dude was my age, too, so chances are, he didn't mistake me for 12. Which, given my girly lil face and my girly lil figure, is a minor miracle in and of itself. Alle-freakin-lujah!

So -- any good stories about the first time you passed, however briefly? Defining "passing" as broadly as you want, esp for my non-binary peeps.

Thanks for sharing . . . you go guy!

Rachel

Awesome life feels easier when stuff like that happens
I'm not sure if it was the first time, cause I'd had my gender mistaken by others pre transition a lot but, after a year of so on hrt, I was introduced to someone at work, we shook hands and he said "wow (old name) is such a cool name for a girl!" That's given me chuckles ever since. (The person that introduced me knew I had started transitioning medically, but, I ws still presenting as male... Or so I thought :p

Some creepy old guy was trying to flirt with me, so I decided to throw him off by speaking in my guy voice, he quickly stopped 

Quote from: Isabelle on September 25, 2015, 01:02:19 AM
Awesome life feels easier when stuff like that happens
I'm not sure if it was the first time, cause I'd had my gender mistaken by others pre transition a lot but, after a year of so on hrt, I was introduced to someone at work, we shook hands and he said "wow (old name) is such a cool name for a girl!" That's given me chuckles ever since. (The person that introduced me knew I had started transitioning medically, but, I ws still presenting as male... Or so I thought :p

It does. I feel like a total baby for posting about it, but I was grinning from ear to ear. Not my usual reaction to a drunk come-on. 

Your story is pretty classic. I guess presentation is a little more flexible than we both thought!

Heh, if he was cute I would've given him my real number. But then, my thirst is very real. 

I first noticed I was passing when women started flirting with me, which I found utterly hilarious. I think they'd been flirting for a while but I hadn't noticed it because it's not something I'd look for... but then one day a female barista in Starbucks definitely started trying to chat me up. What a bizarre concept; I've never knowingly experienced a woman trying to flirt with me before. I didn't want to be rude, so I just returned her banter & when the time came to pay I purposefully opened my wallet to display my Stonewall 'Some people are gay, get over it!' sticker: her face immediately dropped and she went back to acting professionally. It was the gentlest way I could think of to let her know she was barking up the wrong tree.

The first time I passed on the phone was completely unexpected: I was about 6 months on T and I needed to book a hotel room. I rang their booking line and asked for a room, and the guy responded 'Certainly, sir' without having heard my name or anything. He just gendered me correctly by the sound of my voice. I was on Cloud 9 for the rest of the week.

I went to a party and was met at the door by a friend I had known well and seen frequently for the past 10 years. He knew I had transitioned to be a woman and knew I was going to be at the party, so if he had seen me as a man dressed as a woman, even if he didn't recognize me he still would have known who I was.

It was clear the way he looked at me he had no idea. When I told him who I was, he was clearly shocked.

Before I was out, the first time I passed was in an ice cream shop, and a guy called me "young man". This led to my friends being embarrassed on my behalf, while I was secretly glowing inside.

After being out, it was in school, and some random person called to me, and their friend told them off. I can't remember what they said before then, but I do remember them saying "look, he smiled at me". Now, keep in mind that I go to an all girls' school, I was in my uniform, which clearly has the logo visible and has the words "girls' school" written on it.

First of all, congratulations, Capn!

Now this is a bit funny to answer for me. As you said, there are different ways to define passing, so I'm sharing three instances.

It's hard to say if you pass just by being gendered correctly. They may realize you're trans but gender you correctly because they are not ->-bleeped-<-s. Nevertheless, a couple of weeks ago I made a thread about my first clear situation. You can look for the thread to read the details, but basically what happened was that, at a clinic, I was asked if I was waiting for the gynecologist.

The second story took place years ago, when I still presented as a guy and identified as intergender. I had to go to a forum where I was active at the time to copy a post I made about it, here it is:

I know that probably some of you think that ESP is nonsense, but I wanted to tell you about something that just happened to me.

As I don´t have internet at home, I came to a cybercafe to get into the forum. By the way the place is built, the owner can´t see the pc I´m sitting at, and apparently the program he uses to know wich pc is in use isn´t working fine. When I was writing my introduction, after being in the forum for about half an hour, he told a guy to use THIS pc. The guy noticed me, and said "I can´t, they´re using it, there´s a girl there". I´m not en femme, I´m wearing a leather jacket, a wool cap, and haven´t shaved in 2 days. From the angle he looked at me, he should have also noticed my stong chin. It was certainly not a visual thing. I think I was projecting so much feminine energy, that he didn´t even actually see my male appearance.

What do you think?

The third story is... weirder.... It was shortly after I went full time. I met this guy, and conversation went to the reasons why I was staying where I was. My trans status was one of them, so I mentioned it. He then said " so you were a girl, and now you're becoming a guy, right? "
....
I still don't know if I should have taken it as a compliment or not. After a few seconds of staring and blinking I said "actually, the other way around".
Had I said yes, would be have said "Wow, you look great! Totally like any other dude" or "Yeah, sorry, I can really tell you were born a girl..."

Walking down the grocery aisle, winter coat and almost ran into this tall, lanky young guy who said, "pardon me miss."

That's the first time I remember passing outright.

The first time I distinctly remember being gendered as female in public was when I was in a restaurant with one of my cousins, who identifies as gender fluid. The waitress used a female pronoun to refer to me, but then immediately corrected herself less than ten seconds later. That was a bit of a letdown, but it was early in my transition, and things improved from there pretty quickly. But then the problem became that I was always getting outed in public by being around family who missgendered me, or having to show people my ID or the name on my debit card...

Edit: Oh, but I just remembered the funniest time I was gendered correctly. It was when I was visiting my brother in the hospital, and the nurse asked if I was his mom. That was a pretty definitive pass, and yet the first thought that popped into my head was, "Does she really think I look that old?!"

The first time I passed was actually before I ever considered trying to look feminine (I was very much in the closet). My soccer team when I was 11 was boys and girls mixed and it was the first day of practice. My hair was longer than it has ever been and my voice was incredibly high pitched for my age at the time. No one knew anyone's names yet but we were assigned a partner to practice kicking the ball with. My partner was a boy my age and at first he gave me sort of a weird look. As we were playing, he asked me my name and I told him it was [insert birth male name here] and he looked surprised. He told me, "why do you have a boy's name?" At first I was so shocked. I thought that he saw right through me and somehow knew. I said I was a boy (because what else would an 11 year old in the closet do), but he insisted that I looked like a girl and wanted proof. He kept asking me to lift up my shirt and I was so embarrassed yet thrilled at the fact that he was convinced I was girl because of my voice and because my hair was longer. I suppose that was the first time I "passed." Yet I guess it is easier for anyone pre-puberty to.

Though if you count during/after puberty, my junior year of high school everyone in the junior class (so about 400+ students) were walking toward the auditorium and these two guys were talking and wondering what the assembly was about. Me being the good samaritan that I am, I told them it was the spring sports and academic rewards assembly. One of the boys heard me over the loud talking of the huge crowd of students but the other boy didn't hear me that well and asked his friend what I said. His friend then said "she said that its for the spring sports and stuff" and it caught me off guard. Even with puberty I knew my voice was still pretty high pitched, but for someone who literally looked at me and heard my voice and called me a girl, inside I was so shocked but happy. I was again, wearing gender neutral clothing, so I suppose I have always looked androgynous. Even in my sophomore year's ceramics class, this girl was convinced I sounded perfectly like a girl and I wasn't even trying. I guess since I stunted my growth with an eating disorder, it made it easier for me to appear as either gender. Now that I'm a bit older now, its getting harder but hopefully HRT will help.

The first time I passed was actually before I knew I was a guy. I had shorter hair then and I was at the church I work in, and apparently a new guy was starting that day (I had never met him). So this older lady went into the cafeteria where I was sitting and said "are you [new guy]?" and I said no, and presented myself with my birth name. Then she said something like "oh, all right... changing genders in church... hmpf." And even if I was a bit offended by that last last thing she said I was still so happy about being seen as a guy, I thought about it for the rest of the day. Or week.

Not sure i remember first time i "passed", sorry not keen on the word passing as it implies some form of deception (but thats just my issue). However i do remember the first time i "passed" without wearing any makeup. was in a rush one morning so didnt have time. wasnt even dressed particularly feminine, more androgyness. I went into a shop on my way to work and at the counter was reffered too as love (common slang where i am) felt so good. 

Mine was at the store. May have been out of consideration for being transgender but definitely got the "have a nice day ma'am". It felt amazing. Happens half the time now.

I have passed some times.  I can't remember the first time I passed.
But when I'm passing, I'm always happy for that. Finally people can see me and not somebody else.
When I'm passing for strange, and I have family or friends with me, they always ruin it. It's annoying. They say my birth name, female pronouns etc. The strange people get confused and I get confused.

Ok, I am not 100% if I actually did pass but here is the story.  I was 17 at the time and had taken a walk around the neigherbourhood after dark and a car pulled up along side me and stopped.  My heart was in my mouth because it was a police car. This was in 1984.  Anyway, the police officer had his window down and said "Excuse me love, have you seen anyone trying car door handles?"  I said no softly but in the highest possible voice that I could squeak out.  He said there had been a spate of car radio thefts and that if I saw anything suspicious, to phone the local station.  I nodded and they drove off.

I was scared stiff and it still makes me shudder to this day how I "got away with it"

At the bookstore, still using the mens room, someone stopped me on my way in and kept saying "wrong room" and I was like.. uhhhhhhhhhh. And then I just ran off. It was hilarious. I got scared and started dressing like a guy again though. Def. not passable anymore >.<

I really don't know when the first time was but today I had a meeting with the CEO of a company I had previously met with a number of times.  I don't believe I had seen him for about a year and a half.  When I said hello to him today I said "nice to see you again."  He said "I don't believe we've ever met."  His jaw just about dropped to the floor when I said that we had met a number of times and that I used to be (old male name).  That really made me feel great.  Apparently I have changed a lot!

I was putting gas in my car and overheard, "Man, that chick is ugly!"

That was in 1992.