I can stay in the closet about sexual orientation. If I change genders, people will notice. Besides which, "passing" is really a great deal of complicated, hard work, often painful, sometimes physically risky.
That said, I wanna be female, full-boat, XX chromosomes, no androgen damage, no testoserone behaviors. I also very much wish I could fly, be invisible. Not likely,
It's NOT that we want to wear women clothing. We want to be female, clothing is one means to move toward "female" -- arguably a "fetish," but it's just not so simple as an objectification of gender through wardrobe choice.
It's about being who we are.