For myself it feels like my dysphoria manifests itself in different ways.

I have a love/hate relationship with my breasts, not knowing whether to bind or not.

Chubbier non-binary folk, I think in some ways sit outside the conventional ideas of androgyny, which kinda sucks for me because the lack of validation can set me off inside and make me anxious.

Not wanting to use hormones or blockers also sets a new challenge for me, how do I express myself and the like.

I guess being non-binary and living with dysphoria differs from binary transfolk as we seem to be not going in a linear trajectory.

From what I'm reading (not just this thread), people's sense of dysphoria varies all over the place.  For some it's more social dysphoria, for others it's the body, and I know there are some other kinds of dysphoria which I can't think of at the moment, and all different proportions of all of the above.  And there are trans people who don't feel dysphoria at all.

And this seems to be true whether someone identifies as male, female, or something else (or nothing at all, like me.)

IMHO, just as sexual orientation doesn't depend upon one's gender identity, neither does dysphoria.  We are all special snowflakes.

I can only reply based on my own experiences as someone who didn't go through with transitioning while still in my late teens and has now come out as genderfluid in my early thirties, so while I do feel dysphoria at times, I've no way of knowing if this is the same or different to other trans* people - surely all that matters is that having such a physical-emotional disconnect appears to be a frequent shared issue, or is the point trying to determine whether there are differences?

In my case, the biggest problems at the moment appear to be with my body hair, weight and relative lack of visible feminine characteristics compared to what I'd like, with these three factors listed in order of how easy they'll be for me to address, starting with the one I anticipate will be least challenging. I've already spoken to my partner about how the first affects me, and we've both planned to resume exercising once this year is out of the way, so that deals with the second.

However, that still leaves my growing unhappiness at how masculine I look, which didn't seem as big a complaint when I last tried dealing with my gender identity (I suppose testosterone will do that to you). One possible option we've discussed is for me to look into low dose hormones, though I'd want this to be through my GP as my health wasn't that great during my mid-to-late 20s, meaning there are concerns that won't be as much to worry about if I'm being closely monitored.

One thing my significant other has said she is terrified of would be to find years have passed with me on hormones and that I'm considering transition again, which even scares me because we've left the door open to look at this option further down the line if I begin to feel that way once more. Although it's early days, I'm quite happy with being genderfluid and having a short term plan for now, but there's just no way of knowing what the future may hold.

The greatest concern we both share is me becoming physically unrecognisable compared to my "old" self, if not in terms of my personality changing as well, though I'm not afraid of being told I look more confident, radiant and younger, which is a compliment I frequently see others mentioning in their own journeys, especially where hormones are involved. What I certainly don't want is to go too far in the process and risk alienating or even losing my biggest supporter...

Besides, we're planning for a large family, and naturally we're both aware of the risks that are likely to come with introducing female hormones into my system, particularly their effect on my ability to reproduce. Furthermore, I've read that my partner may also be compromised by anything I do end up taking, so this would be perhaps the single most important question we'd ask a therapist if I'm referred to chat about my options. I may have dreams, but holding onto my love is of greater importance.

Quote from: T90 on July 30, 2015, 01:34:33 PM
I realise that Gender Dysphoria can manifest itself in many different ways, but I was wondering if it's a different experience altogether for NB people.

For myself, as someone who wishes to look, sound, and pass as completely female but not change my male body, I often find it incredibly distressing (and Dysphoria inducing) that HRT would be a difficult option for me as I don't wish to change my sex. I have my first appointment with a psychologist coming up in the next month or so, and I feel that Gender Dysphoria is very different for me than for someone wishing to undergo SRS.

Same here. I tend to stick to the narrative but i'm inclined to speak about non-binary next time. Sometimes talking too much isn't helpful either.
Last time I came in I stressed the intensity of my disrepancy towards my body.
At the time I only had the transition-process in mind and whilst the end-result is exciting, it's also freightening.(socio-cultural, financial, political, discrimination, work prospects, changing relationships)
She responded her only task is to discern whether there is no comorbidity (eg. if you have life goals, working on depression/anxiety, ...)
So i'm unsure how it is over there but I feel times are changing and the spectrum is broadening for possible HRT.

Looking at my past I fit the TS narrative but how I experience that differs:
I invented my own games played by both boys & girls.
I dress andrgynous, at times i've also dressed completely female.
I look up fashion, etc with girls (whom do that) because I like to share the experience.
I drove a female bike, not because it is female but because it is comfortable.
I played a sport with both boys and girls and at times I wore a skirt to fill in a position, I call this gender-neutral.
When dating cis-girls I often ended up confusing them since they felt it was like dating one of their girlfriends due to all the feminine behaviour and interest.

I don't want to treat people differently nor be treated different. For one I do feminine things because it makes the dysphoria dissappear but at the same time I just do these things because I like them so i'm uncertain how that relates to the whole "I'm a woman, I want to be a woman, i've always been a woman" TS narrative.

& i'm still going for HRT nontheless. To me it will be a biochemical soothing of what not is but possibly can be.
Whether you want to go all the way, I feel can be experimented with through the years.

Quote from: T90 on July 30, 2015, 04:23:11 PM
I meant that while I wish to appear and pass as female, I really don't want to ever develop breasts or have other areas of my anatomy shrink. If there was a type of hormone replacement that would just feminize my face, hair, and skin then I would do it in a heartbeat. I think I probably identify most closely with the term Genderqueer, so for me I fell uncomfortable with my gender and not so much with my sex.

With a low dose that might take years, plenty of time to find out other solutions along the way?
In the meanwhile you can still work on your voice.
& possibly if this wanting to appear more feminine, makeup can be applied.
Clothing
& personality in day to day life.
Don't hold back, be happy

Quote from: Swayallday on October 20, 2015, 12:10:42 PM
With a low dose that might take years, plenty of time to find out other solutions along the way?
In the meanwhile you can still work on your voice.
& possibly if this wanting to appear more feminine, makeup can be applied.
Clothing
& personality in day to day life.
Don't hold back, be happy

Great post. 
I'm still waiting on my first appointment with a psychologist (due to a long waiting list right now) so I've tried to put things to the back of my mind just now, with the knowledge that the first appointment can be a proper starting point for me. If Anti-androgens could be safely used on their own without the risk of developing osteoporosis, then I'd definitely consider taking them right now.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 30, 2015, 04:11:02 PM
Non-binary people are every bit as entitled as binary trans folk to transition and present as they wish, whether that means hormones, surgery, both, or neither. Please don't let anyone tell you differently.

Not in South Australia
Here if you want to have top surgery but not hormones you are not allowed to have any surgery.
The requirement in this state is 1 year on HRT.
So if you are non binary or even trans but you do not want hormones or cannot go on hormones for any reason, you cannot legally have surgery. I f*ing hate it.

Every time I answer the phone people think I'm my dad and it's really starting to upset me. I'm seriously thinking that once I (eventually) get my psychologist appointment that I'll be likely to be referred to a Gender Identity Clinic. I can't help feeling that if there wasn't something wrong then these feelings wouldn't still be occurring at the age of 24. 

Quote from: T90 on July 30, 2015, 01:34:33 PM
I realise that Gender Dysphoria can manifest itself in many different ways, but I was wondering if it's a different experience altogether for NB people.

For myself, as someone who wishes to look, sound, and pass as completely female but not change my male body, I often find it incredibly distressing (and Dysphoria inducing) that HRT would be a difficult option for me as I don't wish to change my sex. I have my first appointment with a psychologist coming up in the next month or so, and I feel that Gender Dysphoria is very different for me than for someone wishing to undergo SRS.

Frankly, I think that it depends on the specific person. For instance, in regards to myself, while I was born with a male body, I would ideally like to have a face similar to the face of a pre-FFS trans-woman. In contrast, many, if not most, of the (binary) trans-women with whom I have talked with want to (ideally) look completely indistinguishable from cis-women.

Quote from: T90 on November 18, 2015, 01:56:47 PM
Every time I answer the phone people think I'm my dad and it's really starting to upset me. I'm seriously thinking that once I (eventually) get my psychologist appointment that I'll be likely to be referred to a Gender Identity Clinic. I can't help feeling that if there wasn't something wrong then these feelings wouldn't still be occurring at the age of 24. 

What exactly is wrong with talking to a gender therapist about these feelings of yours, though? After all, even if you don't want to physically transition, you can still talk to a gender therapist about these feelings of yours. Indeed, it's not like this therapist is going to be able to force to you physically transition. After all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a non-binary and/or a genderqueer person.

Umm, hi, I'm new here, but I'm confused, I thought non binary meant not one of the usual two (binary) genders, so not male or female? For example  I'm non binary because I am tri-gendered, male, female, and androgynous. Our am I completely misunderstanding the terminology?

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Quote from: kittytessapuppy on December 04, 2015, 02:14:24 PM
Umm, hi, I'm new here, but I'm confused, I thought non binary meant not one of the usual two (binary) genders, so not male or female? For example  I'm non binary because I am tri-gendered, male, female, and androgynous. Our am I completely misunderstanding the terminology?

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Welcome to Susan's Place KTP,

I think you are understanding these labels just fine.  Man/male and Woman/female seem to be the polar ends of binary thinking.  I consider myself non binary for many reasons including my long life living as a man.  I evolved from feeling like a teenage girl when starting transition to feeling more ownership for being a trans woman.  I am getting more comfortable with being just myself and support a diverse sense of what transgender means to us as individuals. 
Nice name BTW;)

Thanks, my name is actually derived from three things that are very important to me, Kitty is a stuffed animal I've had since I was 5, Tessa is a rattle bear my grandma made me, and Puppy was attached to Kitty originally, but I think I lost him xd.

BTW I'm not even sure about my own gender identity, to be honest. I don't know if I feel the way I do because I'm me, or because of childhood abuse. Not only that, but most psychiatrists and others would say that since I have autism, I am incapable of making that kind of decision. Although, I disagree xd

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My daughter is on the autism spectrum and something I've learned over the years us that most psychiatrists haven't got a clue as to what really goes on inside autistic folk's heads.

Welcome to the forum