It's a little late for me, so maybe I'm delirious while writing this out-

A couple of things have caught my attention at this time... I say a couple, but it's reay one thing that has taken up the space for anything else I could possibly worry about.

Without my choice, I am infertile. I can't have biological children. I found out the other day that I have a pituitary problem (something that I've always wondered about, but only now I have my fears validated and on paper)- that has impacted my testosterone levels to the point where my range is ready in female range. Without hormones.

Then I decided to have had my sperm tested. Nada.

You know, it sort of goes into what I've wanted for my life, only that I've saved up money for sperm banking for my appointment in a couple of weeks. I'm just irritated by it, because I've waited on starting hrt for this exact reason.


I don't really know what I am exactly. I always feel like I am a few pieces missing. Never complete. It's always like this! I'm just... I don't know. I'm not happy about this.

It makes the choice a lot easier, it just bothers me that it's still not really my choice that I can't produce children of my own 'blood'.

"Blood" does not make a parent. Love and nurturing does. There are many children who need a family so adoption is wonderful. I myself was adopted and if it were not for my adoptive parents who knows where I would be. I fear too many worry about bloodlines for no good reason. Love is a good reason. Blood or not you raise a child, nurture them, educate them and protect them they are your children period.

I also had fertility issues, maybe related to DES exposure?

Jessica is correct - giving birth is just sperm hitting an egg; being a parent is entirely different.

Because I was shooting blanks my ex and I adopted two daughters. They are in their 20's now and are doing fantastic. They do know their birth families but consider my ex and I as their mother and father.

Adopting is different than giving birth but changing diapers at 3am and sitting up with colic all night is exactly the same