Okay, so I feel ready to come out on facebook. I've emailed all my extended family and talked to immediate family and close friends in person. I've gone by my new name for several months and started HRT a month ago. I made a new facebook account because it gives me so much anxiety to be on my old account. I use the new one now but I haven't connected the two yet. So here is what I'm debating and some pro's and con's.

1. Private event: thinking of making an event that is private and titling it something like IMPORTANT Life Changes PLEASE READ and then I can type a little thing about my transition and put a link to the new account:
pro: I can select only certain people
con: people don't always pay attention to events they are invited to

2. Status update: Seems to be the most popular way I see people do it
pro: people definitely notice, lots of support, easy and quick
con: I have extended family and other on my account that I may not want to be friends on my new account, idk maybe I should let them be my friend there too cause they support me, Also I am not a big attention seeker and posting a status is kinda out of character for me

3. Group messages to people I want to keep in touch with

4. Message and add people from my new account with a generic message I can copy and paste in each person I add

I just can't decide how to come out on facebook. I want people to see it and I really could use support and connection with my old friends right now. What are your inputs? Have you done any of the things I mentioned?

I did a combination of private message and status update, but private message is less effective now that they require messenger on mobile devices. It worked well for me. Hugs
Mariah

I put an open letter onto my profile as a note. Once people started reading it and commenting/liking it pretty much everyone I knew saw it.

I also copied the same letter as an email and, at the same time, sent it to the people I specifically wanted to ensure saw it, with a line or two at the start saying that I'd posted in on Facebox but that I wanted to be sure they'd seen it, for whatever reason.

Got lots of good feedback, the note stays on your profile so it doesn't get lost in and sort of timeline based thing or disappear into the ether after the date of an event passes nd isn't a group so I didn't have to arse about inviting people to it.

Worked a treat for me, and I had several people ask if they could share it with others that they thought would benefit from seeing what I'd said, which was cool.

I made a new profile to start from scratch, and then messaged and re-friended only the people I really cared about.  Eventually I deleted the old profile.  So I guess you can choose to do it publicly or privately.

Should've clarified; I kept my old Facebox profile....I don't particularly see myself as a new person, just an evolution of my self.

I'd also been 'out' as a ->-bleeped-<- (or something!) for a good 6 years, so it wasn't really as massive news as if it came out of nowhere, but I did want to make sure people were in the know about me realising it was more than the way I had presented it/had thought it had been previously, that I was transsexual and my decision to start 'officially' transitioning. This was as much about people not feeling weird around me as it was me getting it out there, both of which had to do with me being comfortable around the people in my life.

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I personally didn't make any announcement.   I told the people close to me and the rest just notice over time.

I also really do not believe in multiple profiles.

I am one person.   I simply changed my name and gender and that's it.

Does it ever both you to have old pictures of yourself? I guess I'm just at a point where it feels weird to have old pictures of me because I never connected with how I looked before and so it's kinda weird and I feel like when I meet new people then they can look back and see them and that's kinda weird but maybe I just need to work on accepting my past.

Quote from: phoenix633 on October 18, 2015, 09:26:02 PM
Does it ever both you to have old pictures of yourself? I guess I'm just at a point where it feels weird to have old pictures of me because I never connected with how I looked before and so it's kinda weird and I feel like when I meet new people then they can look back and see them and that's kinda weird but maybe I just need to work on accepting my past.

No the old pics don't bother me.  They are me.  I lived 40 years.  I can't change that or erase it.  I am transgender.   That obviously means I transitioned.  I lived so long ashamed I will no longer do so.

Really I feel liberated.

I just unfriended everyone then shut my account down. Then I moved to a new city. About a year later I started a new account and only added people I'd met who didn't know me from before. Easy peasy.

After I'd been full time for a month and decided that this was going to be how things would be forever, my wife announced it publicly on Facebook,while we were sharing an account.  Most of my family and friends heard it that way.  The rest I'm sure heard it within minutes. I gave a select few like immediate family the heads up a few days before, but this is what I did.  No regrets whatsoever.  The people I lost over this were few and far between, and well, they weren't worthy of my presence anyway.

Quote from: phoenix633 on October 18, 2015, 09:26:02 PM
Does it ever both you to have old pictures of yourself? I guess I'm just at a point where it feels weird to have old pictures of me because I never connected with how I looked before and so it's kinda weird and I feel like when I meet new people then they can look back and see them and that's kinda weird but maybe I just need to work on accepting my past.

Not at all, they are part of my story, I had loads of fun running up to this point in my life, made loads of friends and did loads of things that I want to remember with them. How I looked, whilst not ideal, was just how I looked. I'm moving towards something more comfortable not, but the reality of transition, at least for me, is increasingly less concerned with how I look and more to do with how I feel and am interacted with.

I don't want to erase my past, it's what made me the person I am today; any 'version' of me you take from any point in my life is as valid as the person I have worked to become and the person I will be in the future. I don't want to forget where I came from, I don't expect the people I've shared my life with thus far to just delete me from their memory (that would be terrible!) and so the old me, along with things that show my progression, stay....I've worked damn hard to get this far, I want to see that and have record of it.

Quote from: Dena on October 18, 2015, 02:54:30 PM
Welcome to Susan's Hyperduck. We are willing to help you however we can so just let us know if you need anything. Other that that, enjoy the web site.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

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Hi Dena

Thank you! I had a read through the links when I signed up, but will re-read them to make sure I don't flail badly all over the forums!  Already enjoying the wealth of knowledge here and am looking forward to having some input around the place.

Quote from: phoenix633 on October 18, 2015, 09:26:02 PM
Does it ever both you to have old pictures of yourself? I guess I'm just at a point where it feels weird to have old pictures of me because I never connected with how I looked before and so it's kinda weird and I feel like when I meet new people then they can look back and see them and that's kinda weird but maybe I just need to work on accepting my past.

I was actually looking at some old pictures of me in a suit this weekend at my brother's wedding a few years ago. I can remember really enjoining dressing up and I think I was quite handsome, lol. Looking nice is just something I've always liked, and now I just want to look nice as a woman. :-) I'm not ashamed of who I was.

With that said, I've made a new Facebook page. Kristina isn't ashamed of who she used to be, but (old name) is still somewhat afraid to reveal who he has become. Does that make sense? I only have a few Facebook friends anyways and the close ones have been told individually and transferred. The rest are still sitting on my old page while I figure if I should tell them or not. Those are mostly just people from high school who I haven't seen in 15 years, lol, so not really important people in my life at this time.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

I created a new account and sent friend requests to some of my FB friends. I defriended everyone (on the old account) that I added to my new account and just left the old account gathering dust.

Last Wednesday, Oct 21, I told multiple teams at work in person and sent email to the various folks in other organizations that I work with.  On FB I put out the longest post I have ever done that said explained things.  I had told my closest friends earlier.  Anyhow, the responses were great. 

If you are interested in what I posted just PM me and I'll share the FB post as well as the email I sent at work. 

Overall it all went great.  It was funny though.  I checked how many FB friends I had at the start of the day so as to count how many unfriended me.  Not only did nobody unfriend me but a number of folks at work friended me.  I hadn't shared FB at work but some of them saw the public post, passed it around and so added more friends. 

I know we are all rightfully worried how people will react but in my case while I expected the worst I had better than I could have imagined. 
Hopefully it works out well for you too!