A) Trying with all your will to be Male & Trying with all your will NOT to be Female
B) Trying with all your will to be Female & Trying with all your will NOT to be Male

Is there a fundamental difference if you are not absolutely either?

Transgender is a spectrum between both absolutes (I'll go there though I don't believe in absolutes). We are blended beings. Without a doubt we cannot erase the first years of our lives when we were raised and cultured as our birth sex. That is a permanent part of us short of an MIB brain eraser.

I think we get too wrapped up in thinking we have to conform to some gender stereotype.

Why can't I be like Joan of Arc, or Amelia Earhart, or Deborah from the Book of Judges?

Were they just FTM?  Who knows, LOL.


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Quote from: JoanneB on October 25, 2015, 07:44:15 AM
A) Trying with all your will to be Male & Trying with all your will NOT to be Female
B) Trying with all your will to be Female & Trying with all your will NOT to be Male

Is there a fundamental difference if you are not absolutely either?

Transgender is a spectrum between both absolutes (I'll go there though I don't believe in absolutes). We are blended beings. Without a doubt we cannot erase the first years of our lives when we were raised and cultured as our birth sex. That is a permanent part of us short of an MIB brain eraser.

Well that's a good question. I came to the realization more recently that as humans, we all do have a masculine and a feminine side. There is a wide variety of ways that may manifest itself that it would be very mind boggling to list them all.
Anyway, even in the case where someone's gender identity is androgynous, gender fluid, or the person even is intersexed. There are many grey areas to every black or white concept.
I think we have all tried in some way shape or form to fit a mold that we only came to find does not meet our needs.
I think the writing on the wall is that as long as you resist who you really are, it will only cause you more pain in doing so. We all must be who we really are.

I have ALWAYS felt super uncomfortable around men. I was an athlete (hoping to get back to it) and I always had a super hard time undressing in the changing room. Like, I'd loook like them, in a way, but i'd feel I didn't belong in there. I am not kidding.

In fact, it's funny cos, I was telling my wife the other day: 'One of my male friends wants to go camping with me for a week (he doesn't know I'm trans, yet) and the thought of being a whole entire week with a guy in a tent scares me to death. I just can't do it.'

I always overly exaggerated my masculinity and was super fake about it before I came out. Big burden. The female body is beautiful to look at. Male bodies are just yuck to me. Unatractive as heck. Am I some kind of hardcore les trans girl? lol.

Hi Comicjoke,

Be vary wary of how you understand yourself based on someone else's perception. Just think about it for a moment.

When you were born, some midwife or doctor removed you fromyour mother, checked to see if you had 2 arms, 2 legs, a head with eyes, ears, nose and mouth, and what ever you did or didn't have between your legs. Time taken, about 2 seconds.

Obviously with nothing left inside your mother, what was or wasn't between your legs has now officially defined who you "should" be.

It's a well known medical fact that what defines a persons gender is what's between their ears, NOT whats between their legs.

I can be born leg less and yet perceive myself to be the worlds fastest runner. All I need is a few prosthesis and I'm well on my way to achieveing my self perception. And I'll bet whoever delivered me would have said, she'll never run.

You may be currently struggling with balancing a feminine and masculine persona. Personally, I don't think that is a healthy outlook as there is no medical precedence to judge it by. Afterall we are all conceived as a female, and it's in the 1st trimester that the gender mechanism is activated. As we know there is a plethora of circumstances that can govern how well, or not, that process was effected.

Assuming you haven't chosen the HT route as yet, if ever, you will find those that have taken that route have changed their psychological and philosophical outlook on life, to a substantial degree. One that confirms to their brain gender. Something that's not tested at birth, or at a more appropriate time.

Keep your options open and try not to use labels to falsify your own philosophies. It can be a mine field in this area.

Huggs
Catherine

I have never had a problem being naked in front of either men or women.  When I was a kid my father took our whole family to a nude beach a few times.  The problem there wasn't modestly but sunburn and jellyfish on places normally not exposed :-)


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Quote from: Deborah on October 26, 2015, 11:39:34 AM
The problem there wasn't modestly but sunburn and jellyfish on places normally not exposed :-)

hahaha!!

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on October 26, 2015, 11:36:41 AM
Hi Comicjoke,

Be vary wary of how you understand yourself based on someone else's perception. Just think about it for a moment.

When you were born, some midwife or doctor removed you fromyour mother, checked to see if you had 2 arms, 2 legs, a head with eyes, ears, nose and mouth, and what ever you did or didn't have between your legs. Time taken, about 2 seconds.

Obviously with nothing left inside your mother, what was or wasn't between your legs has now officially defined who you "should" be.

It's a well known medical fact that what defines a persons gender is what's between their ears, NOT whats between their legs.

I can be born leg less and yet perceive myself to be the worlds fastest runner. All I need is a few prosthesis and I'm well on my way to achieveing my self perception. And I'll bet whoever delivered me would have said, she'll never run.

You may be currently struggling with balancing a feminine and masculine persona. Personally, I don't think that is a healthy outlook as there is no medical precedence to judge it by. Afterall we are all conceived as a female, and it's in the 1st trimester that the gender mechanism is activated. As we know there is a plethora of circumstances that can govern how well, or not, that process was effected.

Assuming you haven't chosen the HT route as yet, if ever, you will find those that have taken that route have changed their psychological and philosophical outlook on life, to a substantial degree. One that confirms to their brain gender. Something that's not tested at birth, or at a more appropriate time.

Keep your options open and try not to use labels to falsify your own philosophies. It can be a mine field in this area.

Huggs
Catherine

I've been on HRT for about 4 or 5 years, and have also had a bilateral orchiectomy done 2 years ago by Dr. McGinn as well. :-)
I have not had the vaginoplasty yet, and am still living my day to day life in a very toxic environment that really is not emotionally conducive to my life in anyway shape or form.
I dream of the vaginoplasty. I dream of a rebirth and a brand new life, because it really has been and continues to be a struggle.
My family really holds me down in my opinion which is what makes me question my life often and desperate to just be loved for who I am rather than constantly criticized and expected to put up with everyone else's crap.
That's really what's going on. I have alot of problems reaching out to people and socializing. I've built up this tough exterior over the years out of necessity.

I sure gave being a male the "good old college try"...I don't think there is too much I could add that others haven't already said. I did the whole hyper-male thing and overcompensated with motorcycles, drugs and booze, which is an extremely volatile concoction when all put together. It is amazing I didn't kill myself and have always wondered about that guardian angel on my shoulder. Someone was sure looking out for me.

I didn't know what was wrong with me and the first time I found anything close was crossdressing...I remember I was really distraught when I realised that even crossdressing didn't fix my issues. Each time I went back into the closet I went doing risky behaviours and came out even more intensely sure I was a woman. It was after 3 months of basic training with the Army that I realised most males were living on another planet as far as I was concerned. I didn't "get" half of why the did the things they did or how they thought. It was shortly after this that I went into therapy to try and find a "cure".

Sarah T