So I had my first Therapy session. It felt soooooo weird to finally talk about this with an actual human, definitely glad to have that all out there now. Anyways, she is really sweet and accepting - she changed my name in her phone to kelsey on the spot, and referred to me as Kelsey the whole visit, which is reassuring. The thing thats interesting is she doesn't have a whole lot of experience with transgender situations. But I get a good feeling from her, and she is willing to journey with me through this, so I am ok with that. She is going to get information on a doctor in Santa Cruz she is familiar with for me to see, and is going to help me get hooked into the lgbt community in the area. Like I said, total sweetheart. I even was brave enough to show her a picture from last weekend, and she said she could totally see  the difference in my face, and could tell how natural and happy I looked as a female... It was the first time I truly felt good about myself in awhile and I guess that came across.

Now for the hard part, I wanted some move forward plans so we talked about that. I am going to draft a letter this week to my wife and we're going to look at it in session next week. I'm really scared to come out to my wife, but it needs to happen before anything else. My second goal is to come out to a long time friend who came also came out (as a lesbian) some years back. I'm hoping to gain some insight and wisdom from her too. As soon as I talk to my wife (for better or worse) I will be able to be more free to explore the local community and look into options.

I'm feeling very relieved, but it also still feels surreal.   Was it weird for you gals when you were addressed by your fem name? I like it, but it definitely catches me off guard.

Kelsey, thanks for the post.  I'm debating on the order for talking about this with my wife.   I was leaning towards talking with a therapist first, but now I think I'm leaning the other way.  I'm interested in how/why you went therapist -> wife compared to the other way.

PJ

P.S. Sounds like you found a therapist who enjoys her work and cares for her patients, congratulations.

I wanted to go to a therapist first for three reasons:
1. talk it out with an actual person first, so glad I did. I sounded like a bumbling idiot. This whole stuffing emotions down all these years and not articulating them is more deeply ingrained than I thought.
2. I wanted to have some validity from a professional before moving forward
3. build relationship with someone who can help me navigate the rough waters ahead.

Before taking any further action medically and socially though, I will be confronting my wife. I believe I will do it over a weekend via letter, and make myself scarce for a day or two to let her process. She has a tendency to be reactive (in a bad way) and I want to protect myself from that. I am reaching out to a friend in a few days because I know she will be supportive, and I want to build my support base.

Hope that covers it!

Kelsey

Quote from: pj on October 27, 2015, 11:23:02 PM
Kelsey, thanks for the post.  I'm debating on the order for talking about this with my wife.   I was leaning towards talking with a therapist first, but now I think I'm leaning the other way.  I'm interested in how/why you went therapist -> wife compared to the other way.

PJ

P.S. Sounds like you found a therapist who enjoys her work and cares for her patients, congratulations.

Congratulations Kelsey. Fabulous first move. You must feel a though a great weight has been lifted from you. The more you do, the better it feels.

The trick to this whole thing is, the more you know, the better you're able to help others through this enormous revelation. Certainly talking to your friend may provide insights into how you'll handle further matters. If you understand how and when ->-bleeped-<- starts (in utero) both yourself and others will understand how choice doesn't come into the matter. Much like the plethora of other birth defects.

I'd be suggesting the same to you, pj. The more you know the better you can help others through their journey.

Best wishes and energy to you all.

Huggs
Catherine