Hey,
Thought I would say hi.. I am a MTF..
I find it so interesting.... and trying to find words to describe it... but its interesting how opposite we are.. I find it fascinating that we pass through our gender rolls as we transition.. in other words.. a FTM and MTF..as they transition.
Its remarkable how we change and how we accept and value being who we actually are.
To me its a miracle in life that we can do this..
I have so found out what its like to live as a woman.. some of the things you boyz hated I totally love..
Except wearing a bra 24/7.. I am big chested.

You will find that you are more focused and driven as a male.. you will not be submissive as you may have been to male authority..... where now I see guys walking toward me I kind of get intimidated.. its weird.

Anyway, I wish you guys the best..enjoy not having to put makeup on and all the stuff women deal with.. I can not imagine being FTM and having to put up with all of that..
Keri

Hi Keri,

Quote from: Keri - formerly known as Dodie on October 27, 2015, 11:54:48 AM
I find it so interesting.... and trying to find words to describe it... but its interesting how opposite we are.. I find it fascinating that we pass through our gender rolls as we transition..

I agree wholeheartedly. I also find it interesting that both groups want what the other has. We are opposite in the contents of our wants and needs, but we are the same in the emotions we feel as a result of those needs.

As a pre-T/pre-everything FTM dude, I can't speak to the shift in how we carry ourselves pre or post transition, but I hope if I'm ever read as male, I'll have a grasp of the privilege that comes along with being read as male and be empathetic to the females I encounter. I do find it strange though, the social shift and thus the change in mindset.

It's nice to virtually meet you, Keri. Thanks for reaching out.

Best,

E

Interestingly, I've always been a stubborn and dominant personality type. People have always seemed genuinely baffled and thrown by me, the kids that tried to bully me in school didn't seem to know how to do it properly, and the adults who have tried to force their will on me have been surprised by just how aggressive I can be when pushed into a corner, or maybe just by the force in my voice or eyes. I've had comments about that down the years, but none of it is intentional or acted. I should note I don't exactly dominate others... I don't care about that so much except in the area of my profession... but if someone decides to involve me their business, damn right I'm calling the shots where I am concerned. And if they wanted to make some kind of enemy of me, well, bring it on.

I think now, in retrospect, it's because they see what they think is a female, that refuses to be treated like one or act like one - and that confuses them and their reactions. When a man has sidled up to me and tried to take what he wanted by force, he got a very real threat in return. Which is exactly how my male friends would deal with the same situation I'm sure. When I've given talks at colleges and universities, the female tutors have sometimes commented on how aggressive I sound, when all I was doing was speaking clearly and to the back of the class. I think it's that wired-in notion that a female should be agreeable and non-threatening... and when it turns out that they aren't, people are spooked.

Post transition I have no idea how this already-dominant personality type will possibly play out. Perhaps it'll find its peace and seem less threatening to other people in the right-looking skin. Confidence and dominance in men is seen as a good trait, at least. Perhaps I won't be so "scary" to other people, although I don't much care what they think at this point.

I'm also very focused and driven already... I'm not sure how much more I could be, since almost every waking minute I spend trying to build my career and plans up further. If transition helps that I would certainly welcome it, but even if it doesn't, I'll chase the dream till I can no longer run.

I ended up a zeta male, I suppose. I have my things that I want to do, I do what I want to do, I don't bother other people and I don't worry too much about what anyone thinks of that. I wonder how changing the body will compliment such a personality. It already feels sufficient on its own, it is only the body I have trouble with.

Thanks for the replies guys.. interesting to hear your thoughts..
Honestly.. I wish I had been a guy guy.. I did a great job pretending..  People absolutely loved me and still do but as a male I was kind of studly but I had no idea I was good looking.. until now and I am like wow.. that dude was bad ass.  I would never never go back.. and only because I had to get my girl fix every day.. it ate my lunch.. I saw women with pony tails and I was like. I want that..  What hurts us MTF so much is our pride .. we try to be what everyone wants.. and our secret is so big and if anyone found out we would want to die..
Social pressures were tremendous..
I am so happy for the FTM guys..to find their way to being who they are too.. Now that I am full time as a female.. I cant imagine how hard it would be to be a dude in a chicks body with all the social pressures to be pretty and feminine.  I like it but I am female.. so I enjoy the whole experience of being a woman.

I would so love to hang with MTF guys... so much we would have in common to talk about.. and laugh about..
Take care and thanks for letting me peep in on you guys..
Keri

Well, the pressures are there, yeah. For me I was aware of those pressures, I felt them... but I was compelled not to do anything about it or to indulge them. I suppose I am one of those who did not try to compensate in the early stages by trying to fit my born gender's stereotypes at all, but just walked away from all of it, even if it meant ostracism. That made me a self-sufficient loner... which, as it turns out is fairly good training for being a man, since as a man, nobody is too inclined to just help you out. I found myself helping others out too, rather than myself... another role men are kind of expected to play.

Whether any of that was a conscious choice or I was just made to do it by the wiring of my brain, I dunno.

It must feel good to feel whole in the gender that is what you should be, to finally have it aligned. I hope someday I get to feel the same feeling.

Quote from: T.K.G.W. on October 28, 2015, 04:52:08 PM
Well, the pressures are there, yeah. For me I was aware of those pressures, I felt them... but I was compelled not to do anything about it or to indulge them. I suppose I am one of those who did not try to compensate in the early stages by trying to fit my born gender's stereotypes at all, but just walked away from all of it, even if it meant ostracism. That made me a self-sufficient loner... which, as it turns out is fairly good training for being a man, since as a man, nobody is too inclined to just help you out. I found myself helping others out too, rather than myself... another role men are kind of expected to play.

Whether any of that was a conscious choice or I was just made to do it by the wiring of my brain, I dunno.

It must feel good to feel whole in the gender that is what you should be, to finally have it aligned. I hope someday I get to feel the same feeling.

I so hope you get the same feeling too.. and you will.. get proper therapy.. that was my key and finally accepting who I am.. giving in to being a woman.. I fought hard.... now here I am.. I hope all your dreams come true.. be positive and good to others and I bet they do.
Keri