So I got my first bloodwork results since switching to injections from pills.  It turns out that my testosterpne levels are extremely higher than they have ever been at 150 (usually it ranges between 40-20, so this is a huge spike).   And my estradiol level was 55 which is insanly low for me as it usually flucates around the low 100s..  Now my doctor is upping my hrt dosage which means more fun emotional roller coaster rides and mood swings to deal with when adjusting to the new dose, yay, isn't that always fun? But seriously, I'm really concerned as they were never this low and high respectively when I was on the pills.  She is raising my dose a decent amount, but now I'm just depressed that I may have wasted so much time on an ineffective dose given that hormone therapy is so slow working to begin with.  And  I was out of my injections the past few days as i was waiting for the rx to come in to the pharmacy as it has to be ordered, so ive been taking the pills the past few days to supplement the lapse in my injection treatment.  And honestly, I noticed that I started to feel better mentally and emotionally from it which makes me feel maybe that's the better way for me to go.  Weirdly enough, hrt has been a million times more  effective than any anti depressant ive ever tried and I  can always tell when my t level is up and my e level is down because I can really feel it.  Hormones really have a huge role in how I feel and I always feel much happier and alive when my e levels are higher.  That's part of the issue with injections i have cause I always feel great the first few days and then can feel the effects of my hormone level decreasing as I get into the second week.  It starts to effect my mood and I literally get side effects like hot flashes.  However, I do feel good the first week of an injection.  Hopefully, the increased dose will get me back to better levels and will prevent it from dropping so drastically during the second week. But I'm just not sure what to do.  I guess I'll give the new dose a shot for two months and ask to be switched back to pills if not.  The thing is, though, I  just don't want to waste more time trying to find the right dose.  I know hrt has limitations in general  but I'm still upset with my appearance and it really depresses mme when I focus on my manly and masculine traits which I'm constantly focused on.  And I cant even describe the jealousy and envy I feel towards some ciswomen when I compare myself to them.  So any little help from hrt to reduce my manly and masculine appearance traits is desperatly needed.

Anyway, I have a few questions for ithers on injections.  During the second week, how much do your levels drop?  And besides hrt, is there anything you can do to prevent your t levels from raising?  It's really strange cause I've never had always higher t leves, even prior to hrt, so this huge spike leaves me very confused. And is there anything that you can do to keep your e levels higher or prevent them from dropping.  One of my concerns is that I eat a lot of soy, so I heard that can interupt the estrogen receptors.  But as a vegetarian, giving up soy is easier said than done. I don't know.  Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated cause my levels seem really messed up.

Here are some hints concerning phytoestrogen, which might compete with estrogen for receptors, making for a weaker effect:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190328.msg1695279.html#msg1695279

normal amounts from time to time should be ok... I'd avoid large amounts...

avoiding soy and soy products should not be too difficult.. in the link above are some recipes given.
Pasta, bread, salads, soups are all alternatives, which can be very tasty if made by yourself. its also easy to make...

you might think about adding bioidentical progesterone to compliment estrogen.
It has some anti androgen effects, might help with mood, even out some side effects of estrogen and might help with breast development. Non bioidentical progesterone does not have these effects.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,192953.msg1733564.html#msg1733564

it helps against dht, a strong version of testosterone which might prevent some feminization...

Now concerning injections many people switch to weekly injections.
With biweekly there is a low the last few days, which as you say may make for a menopause like effect.
I also can effect mood.

Well there is even one form of hrt with injections and implants where the levels of estrogen are driven well into the female range, above 200-300, and the t levels are driven down as well, without further anti androgen.

If your doc might look this up, they may find that there are very few studies showing higher risks with internal application and bioidentical estrogen.
Most risks like clots come from oral application. Here it is possible to switch to bioidentical micronized estrogen, dissolved sublingually to lessen the strain on the liver and also to lessen clotting factors. Part of the intake bypasses the liver by sublingual intake.

You might also think about spreading the daily dose in a few small parts. This way levels are more even.


hugs

Thank you for the response.  I  guess I'll just have to see what the new dose does, but something tells me id be better off with the weekly injections as you stated.  I'm just very concerned my levels have been so wacked.  Anyway, forget saying I feel better on pills, cause today was a horrible day for me, but thats due to feeling like I'm being laughed at and not so much my hormone level.   I cant wait for the emotional roller coaster to begin though. 

I just want my levels to be right cause I hate that i look so manly and ugly abd hope for more appearancr change.  It may be weird for me to have an issue with looking like our birth sex and for a man to feel sad that he isn't feminine looking or p,retty, but i wish everyone that find it funny or entertaining would try living trans for a month and then tell me how they feel.  I feel ashamed for feeling the way I do, and hate myselt for having these feeings but I didn't ask to be trans.

By the way, how do you even go about the implants.  It seems no one ive ever seen prescribes them and its more brand new sort of treatment.  But everyone who uses them seems very happy with it.  I'm just not sure how to find someone who prescribes it and the cost.  Im sure insurance won't cover it like it does for most delivery methods for hrt.

Implants are a very very old technique that's fallen out of favor with doctors for some reason. Way better for us though.

Quote from: learningtolive on November 13, 2015, 05:57:24 PM
By the way, how do you even go about the implants.  It seems no one ive ever seen prescribes them and its more brand new sort of treatment.  But everyone who uses them seems very happy with it.  I'm just not sure how to find someone who prescribes it and the cost.  Im sure insurance won't cover it like it does for most delivery methods for hrt.

My endo orders them through a compounding chemist and has them ready for implant on the day of the appointment. It is an old technique, but from my experience way more effective than pills or injections.

Unless they don't work for you..

True. Sadly that's a proviso for any form of HRT.

Quote from: learningtolive on November 13, 2015, 05:57:24 PM
By the way, how do you even go about the implants.  It seems no one ive ever seen prescribes them and its more brand new sort of treatment.  But everyone who uses them seems very happy with it.  I'm just not sure how to find someone who prescribes it and the cost.  Im sure insurance won't cover it like it does for most delivery methods for hrt.

Here at a link is enough info for an endo to get started:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197550.msg1757196.html#msg1757196
There are some compounding pharmacies which deliver worldwide...

Implants are considered safe and hassle free... no more pills etc...

Costs vary depending on how much are needed... after srs fewer are needed...
they usually last 4-6 months...
bioidentical progesterone is also available as implants...

Quote from: AnonyMs on November 13, 2015, 07:48:23 PM
Implants are a very very old technique that's fallen out of favor with doctors for some reason. Way better for us though.

Well...
have a look at the pills needed during 4 months...
or the injections...

and have a look at implants, delivered only once during that time...

and you have a reason...
its one of the cases where people have to look after their own best interest...

I'll look into it, butit seems more of a hassle than worth it.  And I've noticed a lot of the Australian base is more familiar with this method than Americans.  I highly doubt insurance would pick this up and it seems most American doctors seem to not talk about it as an option.  Though everything I hear about it makes me jealous of those on them.

Anyway, I'm really hoping the new dose will make my levels better.  Though even if it does, I'm probably hoping for too much from the hormones.  I just wish so much that I was wasn't so manly looking and hideous.  Sometimes I feel like a monster and doubt I can ever successfully transition.    Hopefully getting my levels up will do something more.  And I know it's really weird, but I just want to be a woman so badly and hate being a man. It's really hurting me and im getting tired of feelling so trapped and ashamed everyday.

Quote from: learningtolive on November 14, 2015, 07:50:01 AM
Anyway, I'm really hoping the new dose will make my levels better.  Though even if it does, I'm probably hoping for too much from the hormones.  I just wish so much that I was wasn't so manly looking and hideous.  Sometimes I feel like a monster and doubt I can ever successfully transition.    Hopefully getting my levels up will do something more.  And I know it's really weird, but I just want to be a woman so badly and hate being a man. It's really hurting me and im getting tired of feelling so trapped and ashamed everyday.

Well part of it might also be internal feeling...
I'd say try to relax, and feel just yourself...
not overly exaggerated, its like with makeup... too much shows...
but feeling a bit girly and simply like yourself usually shows in gait and mannerism, and overall impression...
just be yourself, and it will get better over time...


*hugs* 

When I was first put on injections I had a 14 day cycle. On day 10 I felt bad from the drop in E. My doctor allowed me to inject the same dose every 10 days and I feel good now. The two days after the injection feel wonderful and I find myself smiling a lot.

My T was 26 to 36 ng/dl on E pills and now is below 20 ( the test does not measure lower) on E injections with the same amount of spironolactone.

Every visit I talk to my PA-c about my HRT and now I think it is correct for me. It took a while for me to get the HRT correct.

Quote from: Laura_7 on November 14, 2015, 08:16:30 AM
Well part of it might also be internal feeling...
I'd say try to relax, and feel just yourself...
not overly exaggerated, its like with makeup... too much shows...
but feeling a bit girly and simply like yourself usually shows in gait and mannerism, and overall impression...
just be yourself, and it will get better over time...


*hugs*

Thank you.  Sorry about my rants.  I've just been in a bad way and have been feeling very ashamed of myself.  But I need to start confroting my fears and demons instead of ignoring or avoiding them cause im seriously wasting my life and ruining anything good in it, and I dont want to lose the few good things i do have going on.  Im just very scared, lost and depressed.  I just want to believe a successful transition is possible and that there is a happy future out there.  Thank you for your advice and listening to me. 

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on November 14, 2015, 10:10:47 AM
When I was first put on injections I had a 14 day cycle. On day 10 I felt bad from the drop in E. My doctor allowed me to inject the same dose every 10 days and I feel good now. The two days after the injection feel wonderful and I find myself smiling a lot.

My T was 26 to 36 ng/dl on E pills and now is below 20 ( the test does not measure lower) on E injections with the same amount of spironolactone.

Every visit I talk to my PA-c about my HRT and now I think it is correct for me. It took a while for me to get the HRT correct.

Yeah, I really wish I could bump the injection period up a bit.  I think it would help a lot with my mood issues in the second week.  Though pills may be the way for me to go cause I feel more stable on them.  But you're right that it takes some trial and error to find the right path, so Ill find out tomorrow how the new dose works.