So, as a long term resident of Belgium, with absolutely no intention of moving back to Mississippi at any point in the future, it turns out it is easier for me to take Belgian citizenship, petition for a name change here, and then change my US passport off the back of that.

Began collecting my paperwork today, and I'm feeling pretty good about getting started on it. I know I'm going to have to be patient, but it's going to happen. (yay!)

And, happily, it turns out that I should just about be able to afford it. An added bonus.