Brief background.  Im 1yr on T next month. For the first 5yrs of my life I identified male. Up until i was 13 then my grandmother  (because of my birth gender) said it was lesbionic) so I then figured out how to be heterosexual in my mind,  but accpted dating a female in society. But since starting T I identify  as a hetero male again. As a heterosexual male who wants a wife and kids and a family someday.
Ok so...
Pre everything I was in a relationship with a ciswomen who claimed to straight at first (later pansexual) found me attractive. From the beginning she referred to me as just "U". So I think that makes her pansexual ( just learned what that is). So when she looked at me and saw a female body she was attracted to it. But yet she talked addressed and touched me like a cismale. I was confused and later hurt by this after I started my transition and we broke up but remained friends.  She helped me get started with my transition. Even played the role of gf, mother of my kids and gave me lot of support. 
   To the point,  there is a women in my circle of friends I had in that relationship. ( the two girls were like frenames tho ). And now I see why. She recently told me she wanted to talk to me when we met thru my bestfriend Mike. She went on to say she thought I was female then which would have been ok cuz she was into girls then. Now back when we met At the time I was pre T and only living socially male for about a year. But my friend corrected her by just telling her I was male. and that was the end of that. But later I told her the full truth. He tried getting me to pay attention to her and gave her my number and having us meet but I was clueless to their efforts.  Then about 6 mos ago she started flirting and being very upfront about her desire to be sexual amoung other things like she would marry me because I'm a good man. Up until this last week I wasnt sure if she was genuinely interested or just boosting my ego and getting hers boosted as well with our flirts. I went thru a bad bipolar depression episode these last few weeks and surprisingly she helped me thru it like a ride or die should. The way she reassures my manhood and insecurities made me change my whole thinking of with her. Now Im confused if she is Bi or Pan.
Anyway the way she said the things she did it's like she has known since the day she met me,  we were gonna get together, and I don't mean just sexually. It turned me on to her that much more. But I still worry she thinks of me as female still too. She is a very good person and I love talking/ being around her. Shes great at calming my dysphoria. When I am down she helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel (Transition).
I guess I'm confused because while we have been talking and getting closer, Im afraid that if I let her too close b4 my top surgery then she will always see me as female. I mean i haven't even asked her out bc of this. She has but I changed the subject. She asked for kiss and I ran. Not cuz I don't want to cuz omg I do she so beautiful inside and out. I want to go on a real live date with her so bad. But im scared. I don't want to A: scare her of with my body insecurities and make think im girly, cuz im not!  B: I worry about intimacy with her. C. Im scared of letting another bi or pan in. I don't want her to think of me as a girl but i still have my chest (binded of course). She and I are not some much concerned with the bottom ( got it covered!) But I fear her perception of me still. She assured me that she is in like with the man I am becoming and that she would not see me as a girl. But I just now figured out what a pansexual is and didn't know is ok to be attracted to me in both bodies. but I think the fact that she told me she was into girls at some point freaked me out.
  Am I being overly  Paranoid? I have nothing against bi's/pan or anyone for that matter i just don't know much about them. Ive not been a part of the LGBT community much and am learning more about them everyday.   Is anyone familiar this?   Ive been with bisexuals b4 so I don't get why Im anxious about a possible bisexual or pansexual wanting me at this stage. Is it the T making me think this way.  Or am that closed minded right now?  I am greatful she is into me but nervous and confused. 

Please help

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I don't think it's bad at all, being attracted by them. It  just means that they're attracted to you, the person you are, and your personality more. If you like her then go for it. Being a trans girl myself, I totally understand what it's like to be insecure, but then you'll find someone that soothes the insecurity. I hope everything goes well.

Cheers,
Selene

Quote from: Selina8402 on November 18, 2015, 02:24:57 AM
I don't think it's bad at all, being attracted by them. It  just means that they're attracted to you, the person you are, and your personality more. If you like her then go for it. Being a trans girl myself, I totally understand what it's like to be insecure, but then you'll find someone that soothes the insecurity. I hope everything goes well.

Cheers,
Selene

That was great advise!
Ive been trying to think of it that way so it made complete sense. thank you!
Wish u the best

Quote from: Shonjon15 on November 18, 2015, 12:52:55 AM
Brief background.  Im 1yr on T next month. For the first 5yrs of my life I identified male. Up until i was 13 then my grandmother  (because of my birth gender) said it was lesbionic) so I then figured out how to be heterosexual in my mind,  but accpted dating a female in society. But since starting T I identify  as a hetero male again. As a heterosexual male who wants a wife and kids and a family someday.
Ok so...
Pre everything I was in a relationship with a ciswomen who claimed to straight at first (later pansexual) found me attractive. From the beginning she referred to me as just "U". So I think that makes her pansexual ( just learned what that is). So when she looked at me and saw a female body she was attracted to it. But yet she talked addressed and touched me like a cismale. I was confused and later hurt by this after I started my transition and we broke up but remained friends.  She helped me get started with my transition. Even played the role of gf, mother of my kids and gave me lot of support. 
   To the point,  there is a women in my circle of friends I had in that relationship. ( the two girls were like frenames tho ). And now I see why. She recently told me she wanted to talk to me when we met thru my bestfriend Mike. She went on to say she thought I was female then which would have been ok cuz she was into girls then. Now back when we met At the time I was pre T and only living socially male for about a year. But my friend corrected her by just telling her I was male. and that was the end of that. But later I told her the full truth. He tried getting me to pay attention to her and gave her my number and having us meet but I was clueless to their efforts.  Then about 6 mos ago she started flirting and being very upfront about her desire to be sexual amoung other things like she would marry me because I'm a good man. Up until this last week I wasnt sure if she was genuinely interested or just boosting my ego and getting hers boosted as well with our flirts. I went thru a bad bipolar depression episode these last few weeks and surprisingly she helped me thru it like a ride or die should. The way she reassures my manhood and insecurities made me change my whole thinking of with her. Now Im confused if she is Bi or Pan.
Anyway the way she said the things she did it's like she has known since the day she met me,  we were gonna get together, and I don't mean just sexually. It turned me on to her that much more. But I still worry she thinks of me as female still too. She is a very good person and I love talking/ being around her. Shes great at calming my dysphoria. When I am down she helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel (Transition).
I guess I'm confused because while we have been talking and getting closer, Im afraid that if I let her too close b4 my top surgery then she will always see me as female. I mean i haven't even asked her out bc of this. She has but I changed the subject. She asked for kiss and I ran. Not cuz I don't want to cuz omg I do she so beautiful inside and out. I want to go on a real live date with her so bad. But im scared. I don't want to A: scare her of with my body insecurities and make think im girly, cuz im not!  B: I worry about intimacy with her. C. Im scared of letting another bi or pan in. I don't want her to think of me as a girl but i still have my chest (binded of course). She and I are not some much concerned with the bottom ( got it covered!) But I fear her perception of me still. She assured me that she is in like with the man I am becoming and that she would not see me as a girl. But I just now figured out what a pansexual is and didn't know is ok to be attracted to me in both bodies. but I think the fact that she told me she was into girls at some point freaked me out.
  Am I being overly  Paranoid? I have nothing against bi's/pan or anyone for that matter i just don't know much about them. Ive not been a part of the LGBT community much and am learning more about them everyday.   Is anyone familiar this?   Ive been with bisexuals b4 so I don't get why Im anxious about a possible bisexual or pansexual wanting me at this stage. Is it the T making me think this way.  Or am that closed minded right now?  I am greatful she is into me but nervous and confused. 

Please help

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Here are some resources you might show:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

pan simply means all, additionally to bi which implies only two genders for some people (bi meaning two... and some people see bi as inclusive as pan... its a matter of how people see it...)
so pan might simply implicitly imply inclusion of trans and non binary people...

well concerning your relationship...
I'd say talk about it.
They cannot read all your thoughts, its possible they can guess some 
So you might simply explain some of your restraints, and they might reassure you.
And you being together, well you might find ways...
you using a shirt... and maybe toys... a strapon...
or using vibrators to pleasure each other...
well... you might share your love in a way both of you feel comfortable...
I'd say just take your time and talk to each other...


*hugs*

if you think this person looks at you as female and that bothers you... not much I can suggest but to talk it out with them. My last cis boyfriend had a willowy almost-feminine body, and I think it bothered him that I liked it as much as it bothered me that he liked my feminine parts. So we couldn't really talk that one out but... at least we weren't repulsed by one another's bodies even if we felt grossed out by our own. I mean, not much to be done about that, really.

Around the time I started identifying as genderfluid, I got weird about complements.  Didn't like it when my wife appreciated my body.  I really hate that -- I'd like to enjoy being attractive to somebody!  What a pain.  Dysphoria sucks.  I definitely feel your pain here.

The idea of pansexuality is that body classification doesn't contribute to attraction.  Ideally, you can transition while dating a pansexual, and they won't lose interest as your body goes through its various changes. 

An acceptable sexual partner will listen to your needs and respect your wishes.  That includes how, when and why they touch you or look at you.

Talk to this girl!  She sounds awesome.  You can't just let the good ones get away!  Tell her the truth: you're interested, but you have concerns because dysphoria sucks.

Quote from: sparrow on November 18, 2015, 05:26:18 PM
Around the time I started identifying as genderfluid, I got weird about complements.  Didn't like it when my wife appreciated my body.  I really hate that -- I'd like to enjoy being attractive to somebody!  What a pain.  Dysphoria sucks.  I definitely feel your pain here.

The idea of pansexuality is that body classification doesn't contribute to attraction.  Ideally, you can transition while dating a pansexual, and they won't lose interest as your body goes through its various changes. 

An acceptable sexual partner will listen to your needs and respect your wishes.  That includes how, when and why they touch you or look at you.

Talk to this girl!  She sounds awesome.  You can't just let the good ones get away!  Tell her the truth: you're interested, but you have concerns because dysphoria sucks.

Thx, I got my stp today so I'm feeling a lot more confident.

Wish you the best friend

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Quote from: Laura_7 on November 18, 2015, 04:03:20 PM
Here are some resources you might show:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

pan simply means all, additionally to bi which implies only two genders for some people (bi meaning two... and some people see bi as inclusive as pan... its a matter of how people see it...)
so pan might simply implicitly imply inclusion of trans and non binary people...

well concerning your relationship...
I'd say talk about it.
They cannot read all your thoughts, its possible they can guess some 
So you might simply explain some of your restraints, and they might reassure you.
And you being together, well you might find ways...
you using a shirt... and maybe toys... a strapon...
or using vibrators to pleasure each other...
well... you might share your love in a way both of you feel comfortable...
I'd say just take your time and talk to each other...


*hugs*

Thank you for that!

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I honestly wouldn't be worried about it. If she's into you, she's into you. If she's making an effort to make sure you're comfortable, she cares. She said she doesn't see you as female. What more do you want? It sounds like you've hit the jackpot.