My boyfriend and I are both 19. I'm a month and 10 days older than him, birthdays in August and September. We've been dating for a little over a year, but we've been friends for about 5 years, about to be 6.
We've promised to marry each other when certain criteria have been met:
-we both have a job and home
-we are both at least 21
-I am legally male

What do you guys think of my criteria? What would your criteria be if you wanted to marry someone? Are any of you married, what criteria did you guys make, how long did you date or know each other before marriage?

Also how did you propose? How long did you wait from proposal to wedding date? What kind of engagement and wedding rings?

Speaking of rings, I think I'd be the one to pick out the rings and propose. Wouldn't it be awkward if we both proposed, haha? For him: I think a titanium, tungsten, or electroplated copper
like this: https://www.etsy.com/listing/233363575/tanzanite-electroplated-copper-ring
but obviously in a men's size. He's feminine enough to wear a midi ring like this, especially since he likes tanzanite.
For me: I like raw crystal or plain titanium. I'm a very simple person. I like flat bands and no designs.
I mean, our rings don't need to match, right? We have different tastes.

Lovely!

Just my opinion. I've been married for 34 years to another woman. We have had our ups and downs, particularly as I'm a transwoman who prefers men and she is straight! (OK complicated).

We got married when we decided our commitment to each other was absolute. It meant that I would not seek men, nor would she. We would work out our lives together because that was what was important - to us.

Life takes turns. 15 years ago she had a devastating accident that rendered her a permanent invalid. Paralysed from the neck down, she can move her right hand. She has to live in a nursing home. I call her twice a day at least and stay with her on the weekends. I feed her and change her.

I made a vow to her: For better or for worse.

When you both understand what that vow means; that is the time to get married.

I hope you have a wonderful marriage and never face the difficulties we have had.

But I shall also say; there is not a moment I have stopped loving her. There is not a situation that we will ever face that either of us will stop loving each other.

I would not swap a second of our marriage. No matter what has happened.

My Love; and my hope that you and your partner will have a wonderful life together.

Cindy

I proposed, more or less, out of the blue.  The words practically tumbled out of my mouth, but I caught them, and thought about it for a few seconds.  That gave me enough time to put together a little preamble.  While I question the wisdom of that approach in general, we're still together after 7 years; we're still madly devoted to one another, and we're still putting in the work to make the relationship work.  My transition was hard on her and on us, but we've cleared that hurdle and we're ready for the next.

Marriage is one of those things that no one else can tell you you're ready for.  Sometimes you're not even sure.  The good thing about engagement is that if you aren't ready, it gives you time to acknowledge it.  I was engaged once, and it turns out that my fiancé wasn't ready for that level of commitment, despite proposing to me.  We lost $10,000 in nonrefundable deposits, but at least we didn't end up unhappily married.  In my mind it has a lot to do with maturity and commitment level.  Are you both ready to weather the ups and downs, to forgive each other your faults even when they are driving you nuts?  Because marriage is all about the give and take. Good luck in figuring out when you want it to happen!

Well of course, I told him I'd think about marriage when we were situated, when we both had sustainable jobs, were both fully functional adults either 21-25 depending on what you consider an adult to be.
I decided to post this after an incident that arose from the past week of events.
Warning: You don't actually need to read this if you find it too long or are offended by sex, penises, or threats You can just skip to the end.
A little prologue to the situation: I dated a girl for 3 years in high school. She sexualised everything about my trans feelings, such as wanting me to have a penis to screw her with even though surgery is not even something I'd be comfortable to do upon my body. When she went to university 4 hours away, she cheated on me with the first cis-male she saw. I don't hold any ill will toward her other than that I no longer have the trust of her. She came back in October, about 3 months after she left for college, expecting to have a threesome with my boyfriend and me. Even though we both declined, she came over. Again for spring break. So, she has tried to have sex with him mainly, two times. She married the man she met 3 months ago.
If you jump to recently, my boyfriend had been talking to my ex-girlfriend on Facebook. In high school he was mean to her, treating her subhuman because of her desperation for penises. He was talking to her because he wanted to meet with her at the beach and talk things out and apologise to her for how he treated her and wanted her to apologise for pursuing him. Well, her husband did not like the idea. I have no idea how long or if he was ever talking to my ex in the first place, but apparently the recent days, it had been the husband talking to my boyfriend, not my ex, but he was posing as her. So my boyfriend was being "catfished". The husband planned a meeting between my boyfriend and my ex yesterday.
Yesterday, I went to college with my boyfriend and I was left in the library while he was in class. I decided to talk to my ex on Facebook since I was honestly getting a little jealous of my boyfriend constantly being on his phone, on Facebook, talking to her. I threatened her a little rashly. I said this:
"finally youre online <br> hey I was wondering something <br> you know me well, and you know I have bad anxiety right? <br> well I feel weird <br> i am pretty sure its you chris always talks to and im really anxious about it <br> especially since he is now ALWAYS on his phone since you and other chris came over <br> and since i know you want chris's dick, or at least used to.... in high school and college <br> well... it makes me uneasy <br> and even right now well.. a few minutes ago, like an hour <br> chris was on his phone and being weird <br> so i want to say to you that ill kill you if you touch him <br> i know where your parents and grandparents are <br> and you piss me off"
Well, I was told by my boyfriend that his dad was angry and that I could not come over. After class, my boyfriend took me home. At this point, the person I thought was my ex asked for my phone number, I obliged, and they called me. A man was on the phone. It was her husband, not her.  He convinced me that what my boyfriend had told me was a lie because my boyfriend had scheduled a meet at the beach with "my ex". While I was saddened by not being able to see my boyfriend that day when I really wanted to spend time with him, I believed it. I was talked into stalking my boyfriend at the beach. Any normal person would know what stalking is and how it works, but I was with my ex's husband and my ex's 16 year old cousin, we were in the car talking about anime and video games. I thought we were having fun, I didn't realise what I was partaking in was stalking. My ex was talking with my boyfriend, walking around the beach. We were circling them, following very conspicuously and poorly.
My boyfriend noticed immediately. After their talk, he followed us and saw me int he car. I immediately ran to him when both cars pulled over.
He scolded me in the car ride home. I was bawling and trying to explain myself. He was completely offended at me and what I had gotten myself into. Hours pass of me crying and trying to rationalise what I did. He allowed me over even though he said that I could not earlier.
Well, I was tricked into stalking my boyfriend by my ex-girlfriend's husband because he convinced me that his wife would try to cheat on him and that my boyfriend lied to me.
After this, my boyfriend and I talked about marriage. We both felt offended that someone would use me and try to turn me against him because of untrust between a husband and wife.

I met my wife when I was 31 and she was 27. We both came to the decision after dating two months. We knew it was right. We've been married 21 years now and have 5 kids. You just know and nothing else matters.


Sent from my iPhone, inspected and certified by the NSA

Sounds fine to me. Good luck and best wishes for the future.

I proposed once, but my partner was far too terrified of the legislation that leaves men without a leg to stand on in marriage in my country, and then later when I dropped the news, couldn't entertain the idea of marriage with another dude because it's not the fairytale vision. I got over it.

Wow, it sounds like you escaped that still trusting each other!  Pat each other on the back!

I mean, it's not just us either, I hope my ex can trust her husband to trust her from now on. My boyfriend still hates the fact that I was tricked into stalking him (and my ex) by someone who also turned me against my boyfriend and his judgement of people, betraying his trust. We are good now, but he's a little disgruntled over the fact that it's hard to trust others. He is also angry about people treating him badly because he has a penis. It's like he can't talk to women on a platonic level because of his genitals, parents hate him, boyfriends or husbands hate him, and even people who don't know him hate and distrust him because of his genitals, such as my two sisters.
Also, why do women find it fine to distrust and hate men, but if you distrust women we find it disgusting and we demonise the man for it?

Not interested in marriage, neither is my girlfriend. We've both been down that route. I don't know, maybe ten or fifteen years off in the future things will be different, but for right now, things are good.