Okay, so I suck at going shopping. I can't even look at a clothes store from the outside because the depression just kicks in like a switch. Does it get better? Like, I have to wait a few years before I can start transitioning (MTF), but I'm so curious about everything, but also doubting myself. I can't even sit down at school for five minutes without the dysphoria instantly lowering my mood. I wonder about everything from how I'll look, to what everyone will think of me, to even being able to walk outside without being stared at. Not to mention I feel that I'm bipolar (never been tested, but my moods go from happy to depressed to hyper in like seconds). I can't be the only one struggling, any advice?

Hi Hon,

Yes it gets easier! You are probably depressed and upset, facing your fears and dealing with both teen angst and gender issues on top of it.

Can you talk to a school counsellor? Some one you trust?

I have to admit I went from a very shy, retiring, non-sociable person to someone who happily takes on the world. It clicked as soon as I transitioned and it will for you as well.

Try making some plans about what you want to do. You will probably want money and a good job. Aim for it, get a good education and always keep in mind that one day YOU will have the world at your feet.

Cindy

Quote from: FireWolf on November 26, 2015, 01:24:10 AM
I can't even sit down at school for five minutes without the dysphoria instantly lowering my mood. I wonder about everything from how I'll look, to what everyone will think of me, to even being able to walk outside without being stared at. Not to mention I feel that I'm bipolar (never been tested, but my moods go from happy to depressed to hyper in like seconds). I can't be the only one struggling, any advice?

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Depression among many other mental illnesses as classified by so called health professionals. But, heck, I don't think there really is such thing as "normal" in this dimension. "Normal" is just a bs phrase used to control the flock of sheeple. And you can't be the only one struggling. Just get admitted to a mental hospital, nursing home, go to a dialysis center, live in the projects/ghetto for a couple of years and you'll see what I'm talkin' about. Stay strong.

I understand what you mean. I mean, I only just moved to a small town a little over a year ago and it feels like I've been branded as an outcast, spoken about behind my back, teased, the works. But none of that is the problem, it's because they do it that I feel the need to isolate myself and not open up to anyone here. So sadly that rules out my schools guidance councillor. I tried to go see a psychiatric over the summer, but I got scared and my family isn't being very supportive. That's why I want to wait until next summer so that I can move in with my boyfriend (also transgendered) so that we can help each other, but we still have to wait another two to three years because the steps are too expensive so we need to move a more Western province (we live in Canada). It's just frustrating because I'm tired of waiting, it's been years already, I'm scared my "prime time" will be wasted waiting.

Quote from: FireWolf on November 26, 2015, 01:54:25 AM
I understand what you mean. I mean, I only just moved to a small town a little over a year ago and it feels like I've been branded as an outcast, spoken about behind my back, teased, the works. But none of that is the problem, it's because they do it that I feel the need to isolate myself and not open up to anyone here. So sadly that rules out my schools guidance councillor. I tried to go see a psychiatric over the summer, but I got scared and my family isn't being very supportive. That's why I want to wait until next summer so that I can move in with my boyfriend (also transgendered) so that we can help each other, but we still have to wait another two to three years because the steps are too expensive so we need to move a more Western province (we live in Canada). It's just frustrating because I'm tired of waiting, it's been years already, I'm scared my "prime time" will be wasted waiting.

If I learned anything from pre-transitioning, its that peeps (sheeps) are always gonna have some crap to say about anyone they don't understand cause they scared and they haters cause they wish they could be themselves like that but don't have the backbone like you and I to do just that. So its not like, anything you can do or I can do to change that. Most people, not all, are just idiots. Like Jesus said, "Forgive them (the idiots) for they know not what they do..."

Also, my family could care less about whether I became president of the United States or if I was found dead next to my toilet. In other words, they are like the least supporting factor in my pre-transition stage. Not surprisingly, I think lots of trans people have very passive family in regards to this. Its disgusting. Oh yeah, I have no choice but to isolate myself because of social anxiety too. Its so bad that I will spend my whole Thanksgiving day alone, locked up in my room. Ah, well, Happy Thanksgiving anyways, cause I don't know about you but I have lots to be thankful for even if on the outside to "normal" people my life looks like it ain't about nuthin'.

But it shouldn't be like that. I mean everyone's free to do their own thing, but we don't deserve to have to isolate ourselves because of who we are just to feel safe or better. It's disgusting. No one deserves it.

Quote from: FireWolf on November 26, 2015, 02:07:51 AM
But it shouldn't be like that. I mean everyone's free to do their own thing, but we don't deserve to have to isolate ourselves because of who we are just to feel safe or better. It's disgusting. No one deserves it.

You're right. The problem is not us though. Its them. The ones who exclude and cannot see past differences causing human strife on a global scale. That's why Stan Lee (dude that's like the comic book equivalent of Walt Disney) created X-men. They're called X-men cause they an excluded group. Or like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. How they have to live in the shadows, not just because they're ninjas but because they are "freaks of nature" that will never be accepted and integrated into "normal" society.

If I were an X-men (in a way, we trans people are) I could understand why there are X-men who hate "normal" people, want to have them all eliminated and ultimately bring peace and harmony to all of us in conclusion to that. I get why on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 the movie, Raphael curiously asked his father and mentor, Master Splinter, why do they have to keep fighting for a bunch of disgusting, selfish, wicked, bunch of people who would despise the turtles otherwise if they ever saw them in broad daylight living among them. It should not be this way, even the media can tell alot of truth through these films. Many lessons and even bits of the future are told through them. I think things'll get better and they do every day.

I want to cut myself away from my family so much that I want to change my last name. I don't have to have anything to do with them. I can start life anew. Anyone can. We don't choose where we come from, but we can choose where we go!