Hey guys,

I disappeared for a while.. Its kinda not easy to be around here when you think you've got no chance at transitioning ever. But somehow I've been having little conversations about trans stuff with my dad (a first), we finally found a psych who's going to do some testing or whatever and (hopefully) have me diagnosed, and maybe we can go forth from there. I don't feel as dysphoric as some people are, which worries me a little in terms of getting diagnosed and going through with the process (it's very messy, if it even exists, here in the Arab world). Pretty much depressed at this point but I'm feeling slightly optimistic.. which is scaring the hell out of me. There might be hope for me, but if my hopes come crashing down this time.. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Uhh... that was depressing...

Anyways, just wanted to say hi again. Hopefully I'm going to start hanging around here again and not disappear every couple of months.

Dysphoria takes more than one form. Around here, most commonly it's discomfort with a part of the body. It threw me when I first came here because I never felt that way. My dysphoria was being uncomfortable with the life I lived. Moving into the feminine role eliminate most of my discomfort so for me, the surgery was a graduation ceremony instead of a goal. It sounds like you share a similar discomfort with me and if so, you treatment as much as I did.

Welcome back, dude!