Let me start out by saying that I have the most amazing family in the world, they have always loved me and supported me pre transition and post, they are the only reason I am still alive and it bothers me because I feel like somebody could have benefited more from them. I constantly feel like I am just in the way or not good enough. I <Not Permitted> hate myself because I have tried time and time again to be happy bit I can't, I actually admitted myself to a hospital because of my suicidal thoughts. I know I will never pass as a girl, despite what people say, I know I am going to die alone, and I am dumb as hell! I don't know if I can keep going on, as of lately my mom has developed a I'm so sick of this kind of tone and it has really attributed to my feelings of worthlessness. The truth is I feel like I am beyond help, I feel like no matter how happy I am tomorrow, the next day will be one of the worst of my life. I'm sorry if I have made anyone worry, I guess part of me hopes that someone will be able to say something that will make everything fall into place.


Mod Edit: Language

This is something you should talk to your therapist about and be 100% honest about everything. Living with the transgender feeling causes us to have many personal issues. These issues need to be addressed in life by coming to therms with them and if we can't, we need to deal with them in therapy. It takes time but once these issues are addressed, you will feel better about yourself. I had extreme depression before coming out and it took several years before I was able to deal with my issues. I was able to resolve my issues before surgery and now I walk around with a smile on my face.

If you want it and you work at it, you can have the life you want. You will not get the life you desire if you don't put in the work.

Thank you for the reply

sounds like you'd benefit greatly from therapy