For myself I have always been a little feminine on the inside. Trying on the wife's panties, finger nail polish. Hooking up with transsexuals and so forth. It was not until recently that I decided that I am determined to live the rest of my life as a woman. It makes me so happy just thinking about it. Does all transgender people usually know all their life or is it some out there like myself that just wake up and realize they are not happy with their current gender.

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I just posted earlier that I always felt "different" or less than "normal" on the inside but could never identify what that feeling was. Over the last few years, like you, I would wear my girlfriends underwear on occasion when alone( or at least tried, but they are way too small for me), which brought back memories of doing this with my mothers when I was home alone or up late at night as early as 8 or 9. Even then I had no idea what that was but I kept it to myself and by my teenage years had repressed the memories almost completely until about a year ago or less.

I also began looking at a lot more transexual pornography over the last few years and I eventually realized I was seeing myself as a transexual when doing this, and that it stemmed from something much more than just having a fetish.

The bottom line is that I think that everyone realizes it in their own time, and the lack of understanding early in life has a lot to do with societal pressure to "be what you're supposed to be" whether that be all man, or all woman. Either way, to answer your question, I can't speak for everyone, but I don't think even cis-gender people are 100% sure of who they are or what they want in life. From this perspective I think it is safe to say that it is definitely true that a good number of people have no idea they are transgender until they are truly ready to face it within themselves.


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I've recently had a big wake up moment but I have so many memories which obviously point to me being trans, especially from childhood. I've also had a lot of moments when my wall of repression has almost collapsed, only for me to manage to rebuild it again. I've only just decided to tear the sucker down for good and that has open the floodgates so to speak.
People have different ways of coping with these feelings. Some people are  much better at repression than others. A lot of people fetishise their feelings because to be honest that more acceptable in societies eyes! Whereas others cannot repress it and these are the people who become sure of themselves at an earlier point in life. It is a fascinating subject though!


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I possess apodeictic certainty!

I consciously identified as female since about the age of twelve, and read a lot of lesbian and feminist literature, but I didn't acknowledge having any relation to transgender people until my mid twenties, I was kind of averse to that idea.

Having stereotypical dispositions, or a desire to try certain clothing isn't significant in my view, I prefer Judith Butler's idea that to be a woman is to instinctively subsume yourself under the category in discourse. It is about self-relating, and solidarity. I think that there are strong biological reasons for why one might do this.

I don't believe in absolute certainty. But about my gender identity, I'm as close to that absolute point as my philosophical bent allows. I didn't always know, I knew something was missing, but it took 28 years to figure it out.

Were coming out as trans not stigmatized, it'd be a lot easier to accept the conclusion that you were trans. I originally balked at the decision because I felt like I was trading a lifestyle I hated but was accustomed to for a marginalized one that might fail to meet my aspirations and goals. But the reality of the situation is that I took the chance and committed myself because I knew I'd never forgive myself if I hadn't.
I've never been 100% sure because being trans can be fraking scary. I'm still working through feeling less than, but I'm proud of how far I've made it. It's hard to be sure in all things, but I know from every fiber of my being that living as a guy was killing me. The closet was suffocating me.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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I was 100% sure that I was "different" since about the age of 5 - that's when the bullying started and thats when I first realized that I was not like the other boys - but I had no idea what that difference was until I was in my mid 40s and I got high speed internet.

Many of us either know that we are trans at an early age, or know that something is amiss at an early age.

Hooking up with transsexuals and so forth while being married isn't really lady-like behaviour...

@lagertha it may not be the best choice in life but that is not really a fair judgement to pass on someone...


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Fyi my wife knew about it and knows about everything. I guess she knew it was my way of coping with everything

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Quote from: Lagertha on December 11, 2015, 01:42:44 PM
Hooking up with transsexuals and so forth while being married isn't really lady-like behaviour...

First off, please don't judge other people's actions.  Also, keep that sexist attitude to yourself: not all women aspire to be "ladies."  My wife cusses like a sailor and I love it.

crazycool... I discovered that I was transgender at the age of 34.  Others discover it later.  Looking back on my life, I see clues... but nothing clear like "I knew at the age of 8."  OTOH, I don't identify with a binary gender, but that's my own  deal not yours.

Crazycool that was exactly my point. You should not be judged by someone who does not know the full story.


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Quote from: crazycool86 on December 11, 2015, 11:54:31 AM
Does all transgender people usually know all their life or is it some out there like myself that just wake up and realize they are not happy with their current gender.

Like many others here, I knew all along that I wasn't like the other boys.  I didn't know why.  Sometimes, I'd wonder if I was trans, but I talked myself out of it, thinking, "Naw, I just wanna be normal."  Except that I'd wish I was a woman.

It took me until I was 60 to realize that I'd never been normal, and I wasn't ever going to be normal, so why fight it?  In hindsight, the clues were all there.  I'm me, I'm trans, I'm a bit odd.  Now what?  I'm still working on the "now what" part.

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 11, 2015, 05:05:30 PM
Like many others here, I knew all along that I wasn't like the other boys.  I didn't know why.  Sometimes, I'd wonder if I was trans, but I talked myself out of it, thinking, "Naw, I just wanna be normal."  Except that I'd wish I was a woman.

It took me until I was 60 to realize that I'd never been normal, and I wasn't ever going to be normal, so why fight it?  In hindsight, the clues were all there.  I'm me, I'm trans, I'm a bit odd.  Now what?  I'm still working on the "now what" part.

Your response really resonated with me.  I had lifelong dysphoria that manifested itself in crossdressing, but I never identified as being a crossdresser. I hated that aspect of myself.  A couple of years ago, at age 56,  I finally figured out I was transgender (hence my screen name).  It explained so much.  I know that I want to transition, and I have started my path, but I still have those "WTF am I doing?" moments.  The path forward may not be clear, but it is clear that can't go back. I cannot live without hope.

Terri

Quote from: sparrow on December 11, 2015, 02:43:58 PM
First off, please don't judge other people's actions.  Also, keep that sexist attitude to yourself: not all women aspire to be "ladies."  My wife cusses like a sailor and I love it.

crazycool... I discovered that I was transgender at the age of 34.  Others discover it later.  Looking back on my life, I see clues... but nothing clear like "I knew at the age of 8."  OTOH, I don't identify with a binary gender, but that's my own  deal not yours.

That was in no way sexist, and opinions go both ways, she is allowed hers too.


On topic:

Yes, I have been 100% sure most of my life, but I never Hated being in a male body to the point where I was desperate to change, since coming now into my early 20's I just know I would be happier making the physical switch over as well

Hell I realized I was trans just literally for 1 minute. And that 1 minute made all the difference, and then I realized I wanted to live my life as a girl. It wasn't some huge big thing for me, It was a small decision

I have indirect gender dysphoria, I didn't know what Trans was up until two years ago. I didn't even know what Trans was. I just thought they were men who dressed up for fun.

When I explored it and found out, all the dots connected for me why I was like I am, I was never one for trying on clothes as such but for me it was more the social aspects and disconnection. I have always been feminine and it was widely accepted by everyone, that's just natural for me and I didn't know any difference.

I always had problems with my face masculiising and was never happy with my body shape, I would diet to try and manipulate my body in looking like it should. I could never relate to the male personality either which had a profound effect on my social life and relationships with my family and my boyfriends.

I know transitioning is right for me. Am I 100% sure. Probably not. But I am 100% sure I don't want to live my life like this and I know am not happy like I am. I don't know anyone who is 100% sure. But I know it's the right decision in order for me to feel comfortable and fulfilled in my life

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