ok so no offense entended here i just need some educating im having a difficult time trying to understand why some male to female preop transgenders hate there male parts i met a transgirl on hrt but still preop who made it clear to me that she hated having a penis and testes why is that i sure as hell dont hate my penis plz help me to understand this

Some do and some don't. For those that do the reason could be varied, from general body dysphoria to the fact it is the one part of them that they feel has lumped them in with a social gender pool that they have never identified with. I think most people have a fairly complex relationship with their genitals, it's no different for trains people.

Also, those dangly bits can make it hard to wear certain clothes!

Over time, as you transition, those parts become more and more incongruous. As they change more visible things and become more fully accepted as women is it surprising that more people become uncomfortable with that one glaring discrepancy?

Yes, it is different for everybody, personally I become very dysphoric when I look in the mirror and see what I tend to refer to as the "annoying dangler" hanging there

Maybe a bit of an odd analogy, but I guess it's a wrong equipment sort of thing, kinda like showing up for a tennis match and being handed a baseball and bat to play with

Dysphoria over body parts exist in both MTF and FTM. For the people who have it, there is a constant reminder that the body they inhabit isn't the one they see in their mind. This is why FTMs bind to make their body appear more male and MTF tuck to make their body appear more feminine. The other form of dysphoria is a discomfort with the life they live. Being identified by the wrong gender or being excluded from social groups is a form of life dysphoria.

If you think about it, one of the reasons you are transgender is because there is some gender related aspect of your current life that makes you uncomfortable and that is what pushes you away from a CIS identity. Each person has their own definition of dysphoria and the resolutions isn't always the same.

Ah yes, the social aspects are like fire in my head, being called Sir really tends to set me off

I keep my cool for the most part but I feel the dysphoria boiling within me and it takes all my strength to refrain from telling Mr. or Miss So & So what time it is and what bus they can catch

I never hated my penis, per se. Actually I rather liked it and what it could do. What I hated was that I didn't have a female bottom, which is what I think really belongs on me.

My theory is that our kinesthetic relationship with our sex organs is wired into our brains somehow, so having the opposite genitals doesn't feel "right" in ways that we can't always understand or defined.

The best way for me to explain GD is that it is a feeling that never goes away and is always there; it hurts. My body is wrong, my voice is wrong and my genitals are wrong.

Wishing, praying and hurting myself did nothing to make things better. The only thing that helps is to transition.

Quote from: kaitlin4599 on December 20, 2015, 04:13:07 AM
ok so no offense entended here i just need some educating im having a difficult time trying to understand why some male to female preop transgenders hate there male parts i met a transgirl on hrt but still preop who made it clear to me that she hated having a penis and testes why is that i sure as hell dont hate my penis plz help me to understand this

There are differences in the brains of women and men.
There are various transmitter substances responsible for those differences, developed and fixed before birth.
There are even substances known to cause a higher rate of transgender people.

There is a spectrum to this, thats why there is a transgender spectrum, going for example from people who crossdress occasionally to people wanting to fully transition.

There are people where the brain expects boobies and a vagina.
Some even have a feeling of phantom boobies, where their boobies should be.

So having an unexpected part somewhere might cause distress.
The usual remedy is to transition.

But its up to every person, its individual and there are individual solutions.

Hopefully more and more insurances come around so more people have the chance to being helped.


hugs

My reasons are tucking is difficult, it narrows my clothing options and it doesn't help with my sex life. I used to think I'd stay non op but given that I have serious male attention in my direction I've had to rethink.

I have despised having a penis for as long as I can remember. When I was 5 years old I'd pray that I would wake up and it would be gone. It never has felt right and it's a major reason why most of my relationships with gay men have been troubling for me. Of course most would want to touch it or watch or make me ejaculate and it's just so uncomfortable for me. I used to think I could be OK without surgery, but the more I think about it, I just want my penis to be gone so I can be with another man in the way that I feel right and comfortable.

what I have is not what I need to fulfill me sexually. My brain wants it one way and I can't have it that way with the way my genitals are configured and just writing this now makes me cry.

   Wasn't so bad when I first started to transition I was extremely over weight and I could hardly see "it". I had a lot of weight to loose before I wanted to start HRT, and the more I lost the more "it began to be seen and the more I wanted "it" gone.  I finally reached my weight loss goal to start HRT last June and I am so thankful for the reduction in size the testes have retreated and I need to feel around to find them. Still want to have "it' gone but I can hide it with just tight panties now.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on December 20, 2015, 12:30:44 PM
The best way for me to explain GD is that it is a feeling that never goes away and is always there; it hurts. My body is wrong, my voice is wrong and my genitals are wrong.

Wishing, praying and hurting myself did nothing to make things better. The only thing that helps is to transition.

This!

I remember when I was like 2 or 3 years old (I know because it was before my yonger sibling was born) and my parents told me that momma doesnt have a pee-pee and I was like yes she does, but they insisted that girls don't have a pee-pee. I remember being so frustrated. Everything was wrong. I remember standing in their bathroom looking up at them, my mom on the toilet, my dad in front of the sink. Everything was wrong.

Since I was little I just hated that part, sometimes I used to tuck even when I was around 7/8 years old (without tape of course), and also thougth and wanted to cut that part myself, while now... I still feel dysphoric about that part, but I think I accepted it and kinda resigned about it, even tho I still want SRS but probably won't have for the lack of money.

I've never actually hated my equipment, but -- I did not know what gender I was or that gender was a thing until I was about five years old.  I spent a lot of time trying to tuck it when I was between 10 and 15 years old, I think.

When I was a teenager, becoming a girl was in the realm of science fiction and fantasy.  I did not learn that transitioning was possible until I saw Renee Richards on the TV news, that must have been 1980 or 1981, and I was 18 or 19 at the time.

By then, my equipment had become a source of solitary pleasure, if you know what I mean, one that I used a lot to escape the dismal reality of my life.

My feelings now?  Let me put it this way.  A few years ago I saw this Filipino guy on TV who had two extra legs growing out of his stomach, and part of a skull with hair on it.  It was an undeveloped siamese twin, and because he had it on him, the extra burden on his heart was slowly killing him through congestive heart failure.  Yet he did not want to undergo surgical removal of the twin, because it had been a part of him his whole life and he thought of it as his brother.

I kind of feel the same way about my equipment, now that I've lived with it for 52 years.  I'm ambivalent.  I don't like it getting in the way when I wear panties, and tucking it in order to wear a bikini is a pain, but it's a part of me, and an important one at that.

At the same time, I don't like being a man, and I only feel "right" when I am wearing women's clothing.  So I am transgender.  But how far am I going to transition, and what I'm going to do with my dingaling, I don't know.  I'm not in a hurry to figure it out, though.

For some people it doesn't cause dysphoria, and for some it does.

Speaking for myself as i've progressed through my transition it has gone from an "Eh.... I'm not really concerned about it" kind of thing to something that I want gone.

It is always there, interfering with everything, and adding risk to my life. I can't go into female locker room and change because it's there. I can't wear certain kinds of clothing because it's there. When I get out of the shower or go to the bathroom - it's there. Going swimming carries a risk of it showing, as does wearing certain kinds of exercise clothes.

It is a barrier to acceptance for us when we try to date people, or it can attract people to us for what we may consider the wrong reason. It could very well be the reason that our life ends.

It's a constant reminder that I am transgender. It keeps me from feeling fully female because it is there. It is incongruent with my new self. 

I am a woman, and I want the correct parts down there.

Please note that the following is from someone who is transfeminine but uncertain about her real identity:

I don't have a problem with my genitals either. Only things that bother me about them are that I've felt they get in the way a lot when sleeping, etc. and have sometimes wished I just had empty space down there as a result. That was primarily when I was a child though, and once I figured out I could do certain things to them I found I could appreciate them more. The other aspect is that I do not like having a visible bulge when I'm presenting as female; it just looks wrong and advertises my trans status to everyone around me. Not that I wouldn't be recognized as trans from the start already; I know I don't pass yet, but it still just looks wrong.

At least for the moment, I don't believe I want to change the parts I have down there, even though I do want the rest to change (especially my chest; I have always wanted breasts since puberty). However, I cannot say what I will want if I transition to the point where I have achieved the rest; my realization of my identity is taking place very gradually, one step at a time, and I really do not know what I will want at a later stage until I have completed the one before it, if that makes any sense.

So I never really hated those parts not a huge fan of them and when things get excited it has always made me feel uncomfortable, bad, sorta sick. But No I dont hate it, infact I decided not to hate it, I decided to look at gender reassingment surgery once again as Sex reasignment surgery because its my sex organs that are getting reassingned, there getting fixed up to better fit me, most of its still there just in a diffrent configuration.

so ya no real hate...ok I do hate the useless little orbs which bring me nothing but pain.

Serena

Some people have body dysphoria, some don't.

For me, (and I know this probably sounds a bit crazy if you're someone that's never felt these feelings yourself,) having a penis down there was a constant source of mental distress. Like, it basically feels like my body's mental map is telling me that there should be a vagina down there, and yet there's this obtrusive mass of flesh there instead. It's a consistent bother. It constantly feels wrong. It constantly feels like my brain was programmed to be in a body that has something else. Just being able to feel that there's an external body part down there dangling in my underwear and shorts causes me mental discomfort because it feels like it shouldn't be there. When erections happen it's not pleasurable, it's my brain saying "what the hell is happening to me? Why is this happening?" And there's this odd "phantom" feeling that I can barely even describe where when I touch myself, it's not really the penis that my brain is feeling, my brain is "feeling" what it should feel like if I had a clitoris and a vagina instead.

Those "phantom" feelings are the worst. Like, when I have sexual fantasies, my brain is having them from the perspective of a body with a vulva. I fundamentally desire to have people touching my clitoris, running their hands down the front of my abdomen all the way until their hands go over my vulva, I desire penetration, and yet then in actual reality those things aren't there, there's a penis there instead.

Even as a kid I would "tuck" myself by basically rolling my penis inside-out until it was completely inside my body. And I don't know why I did it. It just felt right for some reason, felt like those parts should be on the inside of me instead.

I can't really explain why it happens, but it's been that way ever since I can remember. It's just that my brain wasn't programmed to have a penis. It expects a vulva to be there, and thus not having one is a constant source of distress.