Quote from: partnerspossibly on December 20, 2015, 05:23:14 PM
As suggested i asked him/her if she will stay faithful to me and he said will honor his vows i believe him.

so its now trying to figure out how im gonna tell my mom and dad, my brothers..,our kids...

You tell people:

1.  Your spouse has a medical condition that they were born with, and
2.  Your spouse is seeking treatment of said medical condition, and
3.  You are staying true to your marriage vows, and
4.  Your decision is not up for discussion.

You might have to change the message a bit to suit the audience, but those are the salient points.

Quote from: partnerspossibly on December 22, 2015, 08:58:06 AM
Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't. I ordered some books from amazon (love that store). and to share I was out shopping for my sister and found myself thinking what clothes my husband (wife) would like and what colors would go good with his skin . its weird.

You sound pretty amazing.  But it sounds like you two have difficulties communicating.  With your attitude... I'd bet good money that the gender thing would be almost easy for you... if only you two could talk about these things without fighting!

Books about gender will help you confront things abstractly before they're real and in front of you.   Books about communication, relationships, breaking patterns and mitigating conflict can save your marriage.

It took my wife an I about a year to come around on the gender stuff.  We're getting better at communicating, too.  We've been ostensibly working on that for the last 8 years... and we've made 95% of our progress in the last 3 months.

We tried to see a couples counselor, who ended up being a terrible fit.  We've each been seeing separate counselors as well, who work really well for us, and we get good advice from them... and that advice is helping.

Quote from: partnerspossibly on December 22, 2015, 08:58:06 AM
Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't. I ordered some books from amazon (love that store). and to share I was out shopping for my sister and found myself thinking what clothes my husband (wife) would like and what colors would go good with his skin . its weird.

Dammned if i do, damned if i don't is how a lot of us feel about out transition from the sounds of it your partner is a little less damned - no one i know has jumped on researching anything on their own yet, and it's been six months...

Hi there
I'm very late to replying to your post as I only just came across it now.
I'm overwhelmed by the support you have had todate:)
I just wanted to say hi and if you ever wished to chat, feel free to message me.
You're doing amazingly well, I have read some of your other posts.
With love and support:) Marie


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Significant other
Heterosexual woman

Quote from: partnerspossibly on December 22, 2015, 08:58:06 AM

Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't. I ordered some books from amazon (love that store). and to share I was out shopping for my sister and found myself thinking what clothes my husband (wife) would like and what colors would go good with his skin . its weird.

Researching is great and a couple of books you might want to look at if you don't already have them would be Professor Jennifer Finney Boylan's book, "She's Not There: A Life In Two Genders" and Leslie Fabian's book "My Husband's A Woman Now: A Shared Journey of Transition and Love." 

Just the thoughts of what colors would look good is a huge step.  Last week was a very down week for me and my wife took me shopping Friday for some retail therapy.  We found some really cute tops and she's already mentioned borrowing them from me.