Hi Isabelle
Going full time is enough to scare the crap out of anyone, and I don't care how brave some claim to be, I still say it's a very scary situation on coming out on your first day. I nearly quit several times, thinking I was crazy to even think of responding to such a proposition. Could I truly do this? I had a repetition of the same magnitude just before surgery. This GID thing reminds me much like it were part of an instinct a very strong relentless instinct .
It's not like anyone had any choice but to follow their instinctive desires anyway. I wonder if the dysphoria grows on us through our own DNA, I only just know that after I gave in things changed and became less scary and much easier to live with. That would mean then that we were born with this information already in our own DNA, a stand no bigger then a hair connected to the instinctive part of our mind?
I don't know but I will say that after I surrendered and started being the new me, everything went wonderfully well after that. like it were meant to be, and is as it should be. There is a reason for all in creation to be as is, this is called balance and order. Without balance and order, Universe would be no more then a Chaotic mess of meaningless energy. It is a balancing act of Alpha and Omega, bad or good and some of us are just simply integrate with our inner being. We are assigned to be on a different type of mission then the many that are still groping around in the dark out there.
What do most of us have in common growing up? Abuse and dysfunction. If you were to check out the many boards I have shared with others in you will find that to be quite so.