Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 12:25:55 PM
Why is it that so many people can't wrap their pea brains around the fact that gender is between your ears and not your legs?

Several years ago, before I even began to think about transition as a remote possibility, some ignoranus (Jill-ism intended) co-worker went on a rant about his disgust for transgender women and said that if you have a penis, you are a man, end of story.   I had to ask him that if he had his junk chomped off if he would suddenly identify as a woman.

Good come back! I like the Jill-ism, very descriptive!

Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 12:25:55 PM
Why is it that so many people can't wrap their pea brains around the fact that gender is between your ears and not your legs?

Several years ago, before I even began to think about transition as a remote possibility, some ignoranus (Jill-ism intended) co-worker went on a rant about his disgust for transgender women and said that if you have a penis, you are a man, end of story.   I had to ask him that if he had his junk chomped off if he would suddenly identify as a woman.

I heard it worded "sexual orientation is who you go to bed WITH, and gender is who you go to bed AS."

--Jay

Quote from: @Diana on May 11, 2014, 05:58:10 AM
yes still be Mr. on my Thai passport .. & Thai identification card & Thai driving license ..

So lots of people have been very wrong by saying that Thailand is a paradise for transsexuals... As far as I'm concerned, even other asian countries are better than Thailand such as Singapore, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Korea, Japan, etc. coz the governments of these countries legally recognize post SRS transsexuals as being FEMALE... I plan to move to Singapore if possible, this world is so very unfair, you see, in some parts of the world transsexuals or transgenders who have not undergone SRS but are allowed to have their gender marker changed legally, unfair unfair unfair so <Not Permitted> unfair world I'm living in !!!

Mode Edit:Language

Yeah there are sometimes jerks in the community, as in any community.

I don't think it matters if you have it or not. To each their own. Just because I can't conceive a child, does that make me less of a woman? No, a woman is a woman, doesn't matter what she has or has not got between her legs.

Love,
Clare

I will probably never go through GRS , don't need it . I'm superfeminin in my way of behaving , feeling , speaking , thinking and hopefully with HRT also in the way I will look . In the streets , who will ever know what I have down there ? Could one tell that I would be anything else than a woman ? None whatsoever . Would a guy who really , really likes me reject me for not having a vagina ? I cannot imagine that happening .
I won't be telling anybody I didn't get GRS . If they'll ask me if I got all my surgeries , I'll insist that I had . I will even tell them that I went to doctor Suporn .

In the end , it won't matter anything that I didn't get GRS . I will have the same opportunities every post op girl has .

And I definitely will not feel any less than a post op girl for being non op .

My decision to work on getting SRS has a lot to do with my dysphoria and my desire to get as close to "matching" a cis man's body as possible, because I feel that I was born in the wrong body. I don't think any less of people who don't have that desire, or who don't feel they were born in the wrong body, or anything like that, though. As far as I'm concerned, as long as you identify as a gender, you ARE that gender.

Every humans are difference and has difference needs. I have never seen two 110% alike people. I respect people's own decision over their own bodies and it's up to them what they would do. Some needs bottom surgery, other don't. I have heard many scary histories, heard much negative about bottom surgery and there are many horror stories at the Internet. So I understand people may be scared. We experience difference dysphoria and much other things. We know us self best and nobody know you better than yourself. I understand people wouldn't undergo that surgery, because many difference reasons. Example fear/phobia, horror stories, prices, low dysphoria etc. But I also understand people choose to undergo it, because genital dysphoria.     

I think we all should respect each others decision and transistion. We all have our own personal journey.

Quote from: MtFGenderQueer on January 12, 2016, 06:50:14 PM
I won't be telling anybody I didn't get GRS . If they'll ask me if I got all my surgeries , I'll insist that I had . I will even tell them that I went to doctor Suporn .

I'm exactly the opposite. If I ever have SRS I'm not telling anyone. I'm presenting male, and it would be rather awkward. It would even be Suporn as well, he's my favourite.

With respect to the original post, and again the opposite, so if I go and have SRS and keep presenting male does that mean I'm male or female? I'm on HRT, so I've got all the usual, but for practical issues I've kept my facial hair and present male.

It's messing with my head, so I tend to feel male internally a lot, but I also have female stuff going on as well. If I had SRS and got rid of the hair the only difference to other M2F would be presentation. Does presentation make me male or female?

Occasionally people post wanting SRS and still identify as male (not me, I want to identify female, I just can't), so I think you can have SRS and not be female.

All that means that having SRS or not means whatever you want it to, for yourself. Other people will as usual think whatever they want as well.

This is a somewhat old thread but I'm glad it came back up.

I've been on the fence about getting a vaginoplasty and at one time thought I would stay non-op but I think I do want it for a number of reasons.

I know two Trans women that I didn't meet here or through a connection here in person. One is pre/non-op transitioned in her 50s and the other is post op, transitioned when she was 19.

Both of them said honestly that they really don't care about surgical status. I asked the post op one about sex and dating and she said that there are plenty of things I could do as a pre op person.

But for me in the end my current genital configuration causes me dysphoria. So I don't think I will be getting intimate with anyone until I'm post op.

And it's a real concern now because I am getting attention and dating is a thing. So sooner rather than later.

There is also clothing choice. I hate not being able to wear what I want. Wearing pants is always a struggle.

I am afraid of a few things - for one, I afraid that some better procedure will come along and I will be stuck with the older one. Two things I hate about current vaginoplasties- dilation and lack of sufficient lubrication. I know some self lube but I heard that in many cases it's not enough for sex. With stem cell tech progressing I'm wondering if it would be worth it to wait. Probably not but you never know. I don't think I will wait.

As for telling people. Nope. I won't tell anyone my surgical status except people I am very close to.

Quote from: iKate on January 18, 2016, 06:25:56 AM
This is a somewhat old thread but I'm glad it came back up.

I've been on the fence about getting a vaginoplasty and at one time thought I would stay non-op but I think I do want it for a number of reasons.

I know two Trans women that I didn't meet here or through a connection here in person. One is pre/non-op transitioned in her 50s and the other is post op, transitioned when she was 19.

Both of them said honestly that they really don't care about surgical status. I asked the post op one about sex and dating and she said that there are plenty of things I could do as a pre op person.

But for me in the end my current genital configuration causes me dysphoria. So I don't think I will be getting intimate with anyone until I'm post op.

And it's a real concern now because I am getting attention and dating is a thing. So sooner rather than later.

There is also clothing choice. I hate not being able to wear what I want. Wearing pants is always a struggle.

I am afraid of a few things - for one, I afraid that some better procedure will come along and I will be stuck with the older one. Two things I hate about current vaginoplasties- dilation and lack of sufficient lubrication. I know some self lube but I heard that in many cases it's not enough for sex. With stem cell tech progressing I'm wondering if it would be worth it to wait. Probably not but you never know. I don't think I will wait.

As for telling people. Nope. I won't tell anyone my surgical status except people I am very close to.

I am right there with you on a lot of your feelings.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I feel revulsion at what I see staring back at me from a genitalia perspective.
It is the hardest thing for me to deal with and has virtually eliminated my sex life with my wife. Because I don't want to see or use that thing.

*hugs*

I'm trans and won't be getting grs,i've gotten used too being both female and male. I've been told by the trans community that because I won't take hrt or have grs I'm not trans but a crossdresser. Which caused me to distance myself from the trans community because of bigots. As for me I'm a woman who puts on a mansuit, or a man who puts on a womansuit, the problem with me is I'm both female and male and killing off one side is too me like cutting off a arm. Susan's site is the only trans resource page I've not gotten kicked off because of who I am. My advice is live life.

Quote from: iKate on January 18, 2016, 06:25:56 AM



I am afraid of a few things - for one, I afraid that some better procedure will come along and I will be stuck with the older one.  With stem cell tech progressing I'm wondering if it would be worth it to wait. Probably not but you never know. I don't think I will wait.

I am so glad I am not the only person who thinks like this. I'm not impressed with the results of FTM lower surgeries, but my bottom dysphoria is pretty bad. I'm constantly debating in my mind whether it's better to wait and hope for new technology, so just go with the best available right now.

I also believe that it does not matter what you do or how you do it as long as you are happy.

I am ready to have SRS.

But every one is different and live different lives and have their own minds.

No one should judge or tell you how it should be.

Live YOUR life the way you feel happy.

Quote from: Lana P on January 09, 2014, 11:26:27 AM

Society has evolved and fitting into the stereotypical gender forms are not what everyone wants to do. So by shoving genital surgery down peoples throats I just don't think are cool. More often than not there are major

Great post and spot on. As with ex-smokers, sometimes the most evangelical people are converts. This can stem from fear and insecurity on their part. Exclusion of others is a type of psychological and social need for their own identity. SRS is really important for some people though and sets a key marker for their own gender transition, albeit one fraught with dangers of gender reductionism e.g. why stop at a vagina not a womb? But it does really matter for many people and when I have mine I may feel like that too.

I'm increasingly convinced though that gender is complex and fluid. In some ways I'd like to see us do away with M and F altogether and recognise that everyone exists somewhere on a continuum.

This blog addressed the issue too: http://ricardhos.tumblr.com/post/136670175953/a-trans-response-to-greer-humphries

Quote from: green27 on January 21, 2016, 02:12:41 AM
I am so glad I am not the only person who thinks like this. I'm not impressed with the results of FTM lower surgeries, but my bottom dysphoria is pretty bad. I'm constantly debating in my mind whether it's better to wait and hope for new technology, so just go with the best available right now.

From what I understand with FTMs the situation is much worse. MTF bottom surgery at least produces something which is very close to a cis vagina with small differences. But FTMs have to make compromises. And I really feel for you.

The good news is that lab grown phalluses are being developed so a better solution for FTMs may not be that far off.

Yep, but just so long as we remember there is no holy grail of gender body organ. Gender's so much more complex than this or that part of the body. In my opinion
xx

In Norway, where I'm from, it works like you can't even change your legal gender before after the "sex corrective surgery".