Amore, When I told my wife about my desires to dress like a woman, she asked me if that is all I wanted. I did not have a straight answer for her and this put her into a panicked fearful time in her life.
She went to see a counsellor and found out that these feelings were the fact she was grieving. This is grieving from the loss of her husband, the man she thought she knew was gone and replaced by a person she does not know. While my situation is not as hard as yours, understanding that her anger could be from grief of losing the one she also loved so much, you are probably both in the same situation.
She will be hating you for murdering the man she fell in love with and trying to replace him with someone she would never had chosen before.
If I was like I am now there is no way that my wife would ever have married me. I am sorry for deceiving her but it was not intentional and I wish I could change the past but we have what we have. I don't know if we will make it through and after 21 years of marriage it would be absolutely awful.
I try hard to understand things from her viewpoint but I also want to live a decent chunk of my life as Sue.
All I want is for both of us to be happy and if that means by not being married then that is what will need to be. Life is far too short, so you must make sure you are happy in yourself only then can those around you also be happy.
Keep strong and try to develop a friendship with your ex-wife as best you can so that your little popsicle can have two good parents and not be torn between arguing camps.