They must've had a severe eyesight problem Ms Grace because you're definitely all woman.

Some people are just dumb!!
You look absolutely beautiful in that picture Grace!!

I get sir'd now and again, but i just roll my eyes and walk off!! Its not worth worrying about these silly people!!

Grace, sometimes it just happens. I'll be the first to admit I don't look anywhere as good as you do, but mostly I get by. Yesterday I tried an experiment, wearing foundation and using some beard shadow hiding tricks to work. It went over well but needed some adjustments so I tried again today. A stranger asked me a question through my car window as I was pulling out and finished by saying, sorry to have gotten in your way sir. I don't do well with people at six in the morning to begin with. It took me four hours to turn my mood around again. Everyone else is right, people make assumptions. We need really thick skins, but don't you hate it?

You might try a hairstyle where bangs cover forehead and brows.
People imo are much more likely to accept a nice feminine face then.

You look very nice, and your dress fits you very well.


hugs

Well i worked in a restaurant for years as student job. Having ADHD when it was smooth in the afternoon i "missgendered" lot of people because i was out of my head they werent trans or even close to look androgynous.

Maybe she is too?

I've seen this happen with cis women more often than you'd think. Service people usually have a lot going on and "sir" is the canned response. They have too think to say "ma'am" for some reason. They might have keyed of the guy in front of you or behind you. There may have been some small trigger that kicked in when they weren't paying attention.

I've been "sirred" from time to time and I look just like I do in my avatar. I never get it on the phone but my voice slips down in public from time to time when I'm not thinking. That might be the trigger. I've been "sirred" from behind a few times as well. I have narrow hips and that might be the trigger.

In any case, I know that my sister looks very much like me and she gets it from time to time as well quite possibly for the very same reasons.

BFD. Ms Grace, you are a lovely woman. This incident is of no consequence.

Chin up!
Cindy

It had to be accidental, as there's nothing masculine about you as far as I can see.  I do believe that there is a general bias that people in the US have against misidentifying males as female that's probably tied to sexism.  A few months ago, my wife and I were dining, and the restaurant manager approached us from behind me, seeing only my long hair and called us "ladies."  I smiled and laughed a little as he passed, realizing his mistake.  He was almost painfully apologetic, as if he had just insulted me in the worst way possible.  I didn't bother to try an explain that I had actually taken it as a compliment, as he was already as uncomfortable as I'd ever seen a person before.

Accidental, most definitely. Nothing, but absolutely nothing to worry about.

Sorry that happened, it definitely can hurt ones feelings. Me and my husband were at an auto shop last week; the waiting area was small, and there was another woman waiting for her car. Anyway, I asked the service manager if they had WiFi for customers, and he replied "yes, sir". The other customer was in the restroom, but I'm sure she heard it since the restroom was in the immediate area, so it was exceptionally embarrassing to be misgendered in the presence of another woman. The service manager did not miss a beat, and continued to explain how to access their WiFi; I said thank you, but I was fuming inside. The other woman's car was ready, and she left when she came out of the restroom. I continued to think about it, and I was pissed that someone could be that rude and disrespectful; after all, I may be trans, but I am clearly not a man. When the service manager left the front desk, I brought it up to my husband, and he told me that he was pretty certain that the service manager was addressing him as sir when I intially asked the question (which could have been the problem, since I hadn't used my voice for 30 minutes or so before I asked about the WiFi, so it may have sounded a little lower pitched, which is something I will work on). I decided to stand up for myself (and as a teaching moment for when he encounters other trans women) and when he returned I said that it was very rude of him to call me sir; he seemed shocked, and denied saying it, but he apologized if he did, and actually hung his head and walked out, so at that point I'm thinking that maybe he was addressing my husband when he said sir, but then again maybe not; I don't pass 100%, but I should be treated like any other woman and if someone disrespects me, especially in front of one of my peers, I am going to let them know that it is not acceptable.

  Hi , Grace, may I add that you look awsome to the heaping pile of compliments you have here.  I think it is something we all go through, but we should not have to.  I believe that if we have make up an femme hairstyle that at least denotes a "ma am" .  Saying that you cant fix ignorant or stupid.

  I used to get very angry and militant at being called sir. It got me nowhere. I now just point to my chest and say exuse me, that is almost fool proof for an apology. 

  How I heal is to tell my self how far ive come n how bad I used to feel as a male and how good I feel as a female. That has a tendency to help remove the anger and bad feelings About the situation. 

I can think of several situations where I was mis gendered  and now look at it as a moment that I learned and got a lil more  stronger to not let it bother me.

                                                                                   huggs Sister.

Quote from: Zoe Louise Taylor on January 31, 2016, 08:26:39 AM
I get sir'd now and again, but i just roll my eyes and walk off!! Its not worth worrying about these silly people!!

Yeah, it happens to me on the rare occasion. But, I just shrug it off. It's the only way to do it. Because if you let it get to you. It will just ruin your day, (or next few days, as it was for I).

Sorry that happened to you.

It could have been an accident - I have done it myself.  In a previous lifetime, when I was in the Air Force, I had to phone the base commander's wife about something or other.  When she told me what I needed to know, I just automatically replied, "Thank you, sir," responding to the rank, not the gender.   

It happens occasionally, I just raise a quizzical eyebrow now when it happens to me. That or roll my eyes, depending on whether they admit their error. I don't think it'd kick us in the gut as much, if we remember we don't need everyone's validation. Our gender isn't up to other people, as long as we all know ourselves random people making a mistake shouldn't phase us as much. That being said, random people doing it intentionally deserve to be given a middle finger IMO.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: Arch on January 31, 2016, 03:10:47 AM
I think that people in service industries get harried and go on autopilot, not seeing much more than broad outlines, like a silhouette. Someone tall is male. Someone short is female. And then they look...oops.

This I think explains it; I'd bet $100 bucks on it.

The irony is that getting angry over this situation:

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 30, 2016, 11:35:39 PMbut then I asked her "did you just call me 'sir'?" She apologised and said she had done it by accident, I just kept looking at her with an "are you serious?" look - she squirmed a bit more and she apologised a few more times. I shook my head and walked away

...will make you stand out even more.  Honestly, this is not how cis women would react and I know how hard it is not to let it bother, but reacting with vitriol serves to not only make you look bad but really hurt the other person's feelings in return (if truly an accident, which I can honestly assume it was based on your pic Grace; you look great).

Example to what I said above: think of Zoey Tur's reaction in that interview:  Guy was a ->-bleeped-<-, no doubt, but Zoey threatening to cause bodily harm made her look like an angry, hostile man frankly... very embarrassing for her and the people she was trying to represent (us).

Some cis women would handle the situation the same, and others would not, it depends on their personality. And TBH, there aren't a lot of cis women being called sir, and the ones that do certainly don't share our life experience. IMHO saying sir to a trans woman is on par with a racial slur, and as such is completely unacceptable. I worked retail at one time, and I noticed each and every one of my customers, so unless it was pitch black and the cashier was working by candlelight, she should have been called on her mistake.

Total customer service fail!
You're right. If you get misgendered we stand no chance.

Quote from: Ⓥ on January 31, 2016, 08:11:09 PM
The irony is that getting angry over this situation: will make you stand out even more.  Honestly, this is not how cis women would react and I know how hard it is not to let it bother, but reacting with vitriol serves to not only make you look bad but really hurt the other person's feelings in return (if truly an accident, which I can honestly assume it was based on your pic Grace; you look great).

Example to what I said above: think of Zoey Tur's reaction in that interview:  Guy was a ->-bleeped-<-, no doubt, but Zoey threatening to cause bodily harm made her look like an angry, hostile man frankly... very embarrassing for her and the people she was trying to represent (us).

Yes, I believe you are right. I did try to temper my reaction believe me, it's just that in the moment I was feeling embarrassed and angry. Fortunately I was able to walk away before I made a major issue out of it. I could have laughed it off and accepted her apology, I expect, as you say, the majority of cis women would... need to work on my knee jerk reactions.

Thanks for your thoughts, feedback, support and kind words everyone!

Feeling better now, like I said, just needed to vent.

you should visit the US and see if they accuse you of being an anomaly 

Don't forget some people are just stupid. I have worked in call centers for over 12 years, and let me tell you with having both a male and now female voice, they mis-gender its just what they do. Some people are incapable of accurately using mam's and sirs no matter if you're cis or trans or whatever. This is especially so in the south.