Sure you could do that, probably better you leave it, IMO showing the full spectrum of partners reactions is the right decision. With you and your mate/partner, you need to both keep it real with what you want. Marriage and relationships are work and play both.  part of communication is also having communication that is honest and safe. people lie or hide when they are not safe and this leads to more misery for everyone. And I say this last point because conversations need to happen between you both in an environment that allows the conversations to happen.

Unfortunately your SO lied, maybe not outright, but at least by omission. In my experience, when someone handed me a letter it was because they could not open their mouth because of shame or embarrassment. In the end it does not matter why,  because it happened. I received a diary and could not finish reading the damn thing.

If you are not sexually compatible then you need to find a lover, stay married then divorce later or just get it over with and divorce.  Don't string it along and make it worse for the both of you.

Hell, I was in a relationship involving group sex, toys,  and other perversions. My SO was clearly bisexual and it still did not work. My SO decided to become a lesbian and felt that I would never be pretty enough. We were suppose to transition together,  I belive that my SO decided not to transition.

Instantly incompatibility and now that I look back I could never have sex with a ftm. I just could not. It's best that we went our separate ways.

While I am not a cis woman I understand your situation.

Hello  from our house,
Hello from M , (she has told me that I can call her Mary)
I am Bob
(Read my introduction )
I'm taking dictation from Mary right now:
Just got done reading this  thread to her, and  she feels exactly what you are feeling,  only worse!
She's not at ALL understanding.
She is a read head,  but also taller and heavier than you are.
We (the 3 of us )  are in a poly relationship  right now , Mary and I more of the Bdsm  side,  J is more vanilla as far as that goes.
Mary says that he is vanilla in every  f##&ing thing in his life except for the  poly and trans thing.
She has been married for almost 25 years  and J knew that he was trans his college days.
J and I get along well together.
Anyway  if you woul like to chat or email   with Mary  directly , let me know. .
Im new to the group so i m  not sure how that works. ...
Bob