So on Saturday I went out dressed entirely in women's clothes. (Jeans,a t shirt, and a women's fleece jacket) I went to an art museum for a couple of hours, then came back to my apartment. I shaved right before going but I don't think that eliminated my shadow, and for various reasons my hair looked fairly masculine. While it felt like some of the people I talked to were taking extra long looks at me before addressing me, those that used gendered phraseology referred to me as male.

I'm not sure exactly how I feel about the whole experience. I'm also not sure what I was expecting. Maybe I felt like if get ma'amed I'll be confident that I could transition. Maybe I hoped it would be harder to gender me male. I don't know.I'm not even sure why I'm posting.

Any wisdom?

It take time to remove the facial hair, it takes time for hormones to do their job and the hardest part is developing the attitude that you are a woman and you don't care what other people think. Nerves will draw more attention than anything  wrong with your appearance.

Your face will feminize nicely and the hair style is right for your face but all of us have to deal with nerves in public when we first leave the safety of our home. You want everything now but you are progressing at a good pace. The day will come when people pay attention to you in order to admire your appearance. You must then graciously accept their admiring stares with a smile. That day could be sooner than you think so be ready for it.

I'm sorry your trip didn't result in the way you hoped. Most MTF transgender individuals though, require much assistance to pass as female, so don't feel bad. From what I can discern from your avatar, you have a good canvas, so with HRT and electrolysis you should be in excellent position.

In addition to what the others said, there is a very bright way to look at this. The world didn't react the way you wanted, but you did yourself proud. You managed to go out to an art museum for hours. I was a jumping, jittering mess my first time in public, and I only went to therapy and a drive through. There is something strong in you, and you accessed it today. The world may not have responded in the way it should have, but you've got steel inside, and that will take you far in this process.

time

Please try not to be too discouraged by this.  Lots of people are pretty ignorant.  They'll look at you, being pretty poorly informed and if they notice any masculine features, they're likely to gender you as male, trying to be respectful.
So what I'm saying is this, just because people address you as male doesn't mean you're far from from being seen as female.  You could be 99% there with people still calling you sir.  So don't give up.  The deciding factor should be how you feel.  Keep living and presenting as yourself and people will start to perceive that.  Best wishes.

Thank you everyone. Just so we're clear. When I planned this foray I planned it as me being in androgynous mode. The hair in my avatar is a wig which I didn't wear. A lot of my consternation about the whole thing may be that I had hoped that it wouldn't be so easy to gender me male. I don't know. I am currently in Europe so wearing form fitting clothes and feminine colors doesn't really scream female the way it would in the US.

I'm moving back to the US in March and I wanted to work myself up to going out fully femme at least once before I leave. Maybe I was hoping for more encouragement from this?

I'm not sure if you mentioned whether or not your on HRT. Take no offense , but honestly unless your intersex not having to be on estrogen is a world of difference than being on estrogen for any length of time. If you are on estrogen it takes most of us a couple of years to feminize enough to  get gendered properly. My first time out in the street in full clothing was 20 years before taking hormones , but I didn't care what people thought I just needed to do it because I had been doing it in hiding since I was 4 and I couldn't take it any more. I did my make up pretty good because I had practices it since I was a teen. I started going into public when I was 30. I don't know how people perceived me with out HRT. I did get quite a few comments about not being able to tell what I was which was some what funny coming from strangers  on the street. There was one time I was walking down a busy main street and I had on a pretty dress and a man's coat over it because it was winter and this guy walking towards me yelled out ->-bleeped-<-. I wasn't sure if he thought  I was a man in a dress or a women in drag. I mean if you are on HRT it can take a couple of years to not get wrongly gendered.

Just to clear things up I am pre everything.

Quote from: AnamethatstartswithE on February 08, 2016, 05:20:30 PM
Any wisdom?

This is my perspective...passing in jeans, tshirt and a jacket requires a lot of extra work. During my first attempt at transition years ago I never passed in jeans despite being on HRT for almost two years and having longish hair. What I didn't realise is that even when women wear jeans and a tshirt there are a lot of extra visual clues that they are female... makeup, accessories, jewelry, curves, breasts, hair style, clothes are the right style and fit, etc, etc. None of those things need to be overstated but they are there to some degree. Other aspects such as posture also play a significant role. It's OK to dress as you did, but if your intention is to pass in jeans and be called miss then you usually need to go the extra mile.

Thank you everyone.

After thinking about this for a while I think I may understand what's going on. My stated reason (to myself) was just to get used to walking around in women's clothes, and not so much about passing. I think deep down I might have been hoping that maybe I would surprise myself. I think I'm at about 80% ready to transition, but there are things holding me back. Maybe I'm just sad that this didn't give me that final push. (Even though I already know what some of my issues are and they have nothing to do with that)

When I was still in denial I basically didn't let myself have any feelings. While I'm a lot happier and healthier listening to them, they can cause me problems as well.

My first few forays out were dressed similarly.  Neck up male, below that, female (including forms).  Once I even had makeup on with no wig, but still called by others as male.

It wasn't until I added a nice wig that I truly started getting identified as female.  Even when someone near me could clearly see I was a guy dressed as female, they did not call me sir.

Others in this thread are right, for those of us pre everything, if we wish to be identified as female, we have to go the extra step to look the part.

I've been out of the house three times now fully dressed head to toe.  And let me tell you it was exhilarating!  Especially the last time.  Had (wanted) to go to grocery store to get an apple pie for my wife.  I was in wig, makeup, nice shirt, boot cut jeans, wearing forms, and a nice 3/4 length pea coat.  Walked right in the store, got what I needed, and loved it.

Until I'm on hrt, my outfit just requires a little extra makeup and clothes (i.e. makeup, wigs, & forms).  Worth it!

The nudge that pushed me over the edge was a day when I was fully decked out in girl mode with nail polish and all that stuff. I thought I would have several days to be that way because it was a holiday. My wife told me we were going to the mall on pretty much the busiest day of the year and I told her I was going upstairs to change. She asked me what I was afraid of. And that's when it happened. I ended up not changing. I got misgendered a bit, but my biggest fears didn't happen. I didn't have people laughing at me. I didn't hear any snive remarks. I didn't get beat up. It still took me a bit to officially go full time, but at least I was over the hump.