So story is this:

I'm a trans man, 23, and insured with Kaiser Permanente.
My boyfriend is a trans man, 21, and not insured.

I'm not on testosterone and neither is he.

I'm out to my parents but I know there's a marginal risk of them kicking me off their medical and auto insurance if I start hormones and they find out, and my car is under their name so they may take that back. My dad threatened all these things when he was upset over somethin' NOT transition related. My parents do not mind top surgery, however, and actually encourage me to "get it over with already" through Kaiser.

I live away from my parents, I'm moved out. I don't have much money to be able to afford transition without insurance. With, would be just fine.

My boyfriend is in a vaguely similar situation except: he doesn't have insurance that deals with trans stuff at all. He has military Tricare, and it's linked to an abusive parent who is nosy and we don't want that involvement at all. Additionally, his mother doesn't really fully know he's trans. He tried mentioning it but he wouldn't listen, and would freak out if she found out. As far as his surgery, I'll probably save up with him to help him.

Because of all this, I want to find testosterone and get it through a compounding pharmacy like Stroheckers. The only issue is, I don't know where to get a prescription. I don't want to do it through Kaiser, because I absolutely do not want it showing up on my parents insurance bill or anything like that.

What I was hoping was there would be an endocrinologist, or place I can get a T prescription through informed consent WITHOUT insurance, and get it compounded into a low dose gel. I want my changes to be gradual and slow so I can get my parents used to it and finally tell em when it gets obvious, or else they might pull the rug out from under me. Same with my boyfriend's mom.

We want to transition at the same time, we're both extremely dysphoric in every possible way and it'll totally shatter him if he saw me start before him, and vice versa. No matter how happy we'd be for eachother.

Is it possible to do what I'm planning? If so, where? I hear Planned Parenthood gives T to people but I don't know how that works. I don't know how much an endo costs without insurance, how many appointments I'd need to make, how much Stroheckers would cost, or if there are any near me. Google isn't helping me.

Not being on T for as long as I have (it's been 7 years since I've come out) is absolutely killing me as I'm sure you'd understand, and I want on it ASAP. Diet, supplements, and working out have gotten me far, dying my facial hair and using mascara has gotten me far, voice exercises have gotten me far, I'm stealth at my job and everywhere else... but I'm still dysphoric as all hell, I need to actually transition. I see people far younger than me starting, and while they aren't as lucky as I for being able to be stealth without anything whatsoever... I'm still really desperate for T. Others see me as a male, but they don't see or feel my body, or hear how flawed my voice is, etc. I need to transition.

Agh I dunno what to do and it all seems so stressful.

Welcome to Susan's Place. Look up a local LGBT center and they may be able to provide you with the information you are after. Exactly what an Endo and hormones would cost depends on the doctor and what is prescribed.  If you have a good paying job, you should be able to pay it out of pocket but if you are barely making it month to month, you may not be able to afford it.

I don't know if you have done it, but it is possible to lower your voice somewhat but reversing the process we (MTF) use to raise ours. How much lower you voice will go depends on several factors but it still will be somewhere between male and female at best.

The commitment to go on T is pretty big because there is no way to predict what will happen. Even low dose can bring on major changes in a short period of time. For others, the changes may be small and take a long time. If you are going to start T, you better figure on telling your parents pretty soon if you respond well.

I understand how stressful this can be. I went from age 13 until about age 27 before I was able to locate the resources I need to transition. To transition takes a good deal of effort and combined, with time, it can be done out of pocket. Insurance didn't cover my transition so the first goal was to accumulate money.

I suggest you continue to explore the site and ask questions. There may not be quick easy answers but I am sure you are determined enough to achieve your goal

You will find more answers and help in the MTF area of the site. The guys tend to do most of their posting in that area. You are free to explore the rest of the site and you may ask me any question you think I can help with.

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Ahh thank you so much, I really appreciate all the help and encouragement!

I think I can afford testosterone on it's own, but not the endocrinologist appointments and.... gynecologist appointments that are recommended to keep my health in check. So there might be a health risk regarding finances.

I didn't know that changes could happen quickly even on a low dose, I don't want anything to happen too fast and get the rug pulled from under me or get in some kind of trouble so that's also something to consider.

Thank you also, it helps to here that others have gone through a long period of time without being able to transition and that I'm not alone. Sometimes I don't reach out to others in my situation enough and forget that it's not totally hopeless and I really appreciate that.

I looked into it and found my local LGBT center, and it's actually right up the street from me (I live in Palm Springs, so everything is really close to me as far as LGBT things), they don't say if they offer HRT options or help but I asked about it in an email. Will probably go there tomorrow!

I'll definitely go to the MTF area and discuss this stuff, thank you for the redirection!

PALM SPRINGS. I lived in orange county but I found my way up there a few times. From what I understand it is pretty LGBT friendly and if you aren't able to find the help you need, it is available in the Los Angles area. You might be able to use the insurance for everything except the endocrinologist and that would limit your cost to medication and the Endo. Keep asking questions because the more information you have, the more ways it may play out.

Ops, Typo. I should have typed FTM. I am running on about 4 hours of sleep in the last 24 and I think I am hitting the wall.

even on a "low dose" of testosterone, my voice dropped within 3 months. i should also note that the gel is WAY more expensive and i think it's $120 - $150 a month? compared to $70 every 3 months. i'm in canada though, but i think the prices around generally around the same. people also only go to an endo because they know it is best since they know how to check the levels properly and what they're looking for and prescribing it since most doctors don't deal with that stuff specifically. however, as long as you have a doctor who has some general knowledge of "normal male levels" for testosterone, and know what to check for if things go sideways, you should be alright. you would also need check ups to make sure everything is alright (blood work, etc.) every few months.