what causes the intensity and power of the feelings of my gender dysphoria to grow so strong and powerful some times?  I find that some days I do not notice those feelings, but on other days, my GID is so strong and powerful that it is almost debilitating.  what causes these changes?  why do they intensify?  has anyone else experienced this?

Yes.  You are not alone.  There are some days that I can't do a damn thing because I'm so distracted and can't consintrate on anything.  Makes work challenging.

Please tell me that once l start on hormones that will diminish. Please please please.

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Teri,

I don't know what makes the swing worse. I know that if life is very busy and things are going well that it often lessens then. I have read this from others and noticed it in myself.

Likewise, if I am having a tough time it noticed it all gets kicked up lots of notches.

It seems be common. I call it yo-yoing.

Hope yours lessons quickly,

Joanna

I hope that it lessens, too.  I know this, it physically hurts.  I also have a doctors appointment and a meeting with my therapist scheduled to address this.  Would estrogen help?

There is a website about "The Female Hormone Cycle" I found it to be very interesting in helping me understand my ups and downs with dysphoria... although there are other reasons at play, I found that when T rises, I feel and see more "manliness"

I started tracking it a few months ago and it helps me anticipate my moods, feelings and GID to a point...

Teri

Typically if you proceed to MTF HRT, you get two things to start. An anti-androgen to knock down or eliminate the testosterone producing and then estrogen.

I just started a little over two weeks ago. We are not allowed to talk about doses here but I am on some of the lowest doses. However, already I have found a drop in anxiety and better moods. I can sleep better than I ever have. I still have bad days but depression and the extremes are lessened. Although as I understand it, I can expect mood swings for the next 3 months at least(kind of like going through puberty-funny that...)

However, there are two things to bear in mind. First is that everyone's experience is different. Dosage needs and reactions to particular prescriptions. Second is that there are changes to sexual secondary features that will not go away once that has started.

I know it didn't answer your question. I can only give my experience and perspective. All stuff to mull over alone and with a therapist and probably a doctor.

Good luck,

Joanna

The only reason I was able to escape the pre transition years with any of my sanity was distractions. Computer programming and chasing bugs worked pretty good during the day at work. Reading an watching mindless TV helped in the evening but there were still hour when my mind was idle and those were the worst. I truly believe that T is the primary cause of our discomfort and once eliminated greatly reduces our discomfort. Because our brain has still has the female programming, many of us need to social transition but we are no longer under the crushing pressure that we had before.