This has been my problem from day 1. I feel if i just had sex with a man while cross dressing or him seeing/treating me as a woman than that would help validate my feelings. I really want to have sex with a man but i am not a gay. I cant figure out if i am truly a woman inside or of i have some weird fetish. It sucks because the more i think of these issues the more anxiety and feeling sick i get. i can a few days and have no thoughts of being a woman then all of a sudden i will go weeks reading and do all the research i can. during that time i get more and more depressed. then i have a few days and being content. its a bad cycle that i wish i had some answers 2.

Quote from: kg85621 on February 25, 2016, 03:01:27 PM
This has been my problem from day 1. I feel if i just had sex with a man while cross dressing or him seeing/treating me as a woman than that would help validate my feelings. I really want to have sex with a man but i am not a gay. I cant figure out if i am truly a woman inside or of i have some weird fetish. It sucks because the more i think of these issues the more anxiety and feeling sick i get. i can a few days and have no thoughts of being a woman then all of a sudden i will go weeks reading and do all the research i can. during that time i get more and more depressed. then i have a few days and being content. its a bad cycle that i wish i had some answers 2.

Did you consult a gender therapist ? Perhaps should you start a low dose HRT. It may help you in calming anxiety and knowing which is your true nature.

Another great thread Stephanie and please don't give yourself any grief about being attracted to men.  Like so many other respondents i have always been trans and bi or pansexual.  Before puberty my awareness of sex was limited but I still "played" with boys.  My identity, however, was that I was secretly a girl who would magically change, some day, into a mom with babies...like my own mother.

What I recognized about my sexual orientation was that gender didn't matter so much as mutual attraction or a loving bond.  What I recognized about my gender identity and nexus of orientation was that I gradually became aware of only being able to function sexually by feeling and often acting as the feminine one.  That has not changed since my transition but I do feel a more compelling attraction to men...almost in a pheromone sort of way.

Before transition I lived in the hulk of a bearded man's body and knew it was next to impossible for people to see that image was not who I really am.  I sobbed when I first told people that truth, so much better now!

Who I love=My orientation, who I am as a lover and more=My gender identity.   

For me I doubted myself so much it took hard evidence to convince me that I was really trans and not just gay/creepy. I even used my partial attraction to women as evidence that I was just deluded.

I found some text that described how some of Harry Benjamin's patients had hypogonadism. So I gave it a shot. The blood test came back with low testosrone. Despite the fact that I am pre everything and all the other results came back normal.

I suspect many of us are already part woman even before we do anything.