Hi!

I've been putting this off for too long just lurking in the shadows.
I'm Heather, 28 in England (I may narrow this later).
I've known I was "different" since 5/6 years old where I ended up just being one of the girls in primary school but ended up "manning up" throughout high school until now.
I've always "crossdressed" since a sleep over at my house when I was around 7 where a friend left me some hand-me-downs, a few years later I was caught wearing girls clothing to bed instead of pyjamas and that caused a psychological hammer blow as I sat down and told I was sick, perverted and wrong in the head. I was forced to promise I'd never be anything other than a boy.
At 16 I moved out, got a girlfriend and moved in with her.
I didn't mention anything at first but eventually I broke down and spilled my heart out expecting the worst but got the opposite, she encouraged me to be me.
Fast forward a few years, she cheated on me with a friend and I hit the bottle.
I had friends who knew the real me and I ended up on their sofa more than my own place, these friends became the first time I explored my sexuality and why I was attracted to men and women.
Fast forward a fair few more years, relationships, many house moves, finding myself back in the closet and I'm here, where I am now writing this.

I'm in a relationship with a beautiful woman but she doesn't know much about my past and doesn't know anything about my gender identity issues.

I've joined this community to seek help in coming out and end the selfishness especially as my gender related feelings are stronger than they have been to the point of depression, anxiety and the realisation that I'm not getting younger.

The thought of growing old as a man feels like outcome worse than death itself.

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

Welcome to Susan's Place. As you have learned, the feeling will not fade without treatment. We will provide whatever information we can and all you need to do is ask. I would suggest if you wish to remain with the woman, you consider coming out as soon as possible. The knowledge that information was hidden can be very damaging to a relationship and the normal responses is "why didn't you tell me sooner". Also let me know if there is anything I can help you with.

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Hi Heather!

How new or old is the relationship with the hottie? Has she ever let on that she might be bi? They're the lesbian trans-girl's best friend, as far as I can tell.

It's difficult, but you're in a good place at the moment in that you know what you want. Or I guess, what you DON'T want. That's a great place to start

And 28 is still pretty young. You've got a loooot of life ahead of you. Make it one worth living!

I look forward to seeing you around the forums.

Hi Heather 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M