I did not literally died. But today, I found out my greatest fear did not happened and I'll survive another day. It was medical related. It would had been worse than death itself, and I am not afraid of death. I believe death did pass me by. A whole drunken weekend of Titanic and Phantom of the Opera by Sarah Brightman didnt help either.

I see my life in a whole different way. I appreciate everything I have, yes, even being transgender. Its not even a bothersome issue, it is just is what it is.

Money. Money is replaceable. Looks, fixable mistakes, the day to day grind... Its all a miracle.

I think I found happiness, not because I have a great life. But I have a perspective of hell for the first time. Hell... Far worse than anything I could think of.

And I know exactly what I am and what I need. And being transgender is the least of my issues.

I think once you face your ultimate fear, the world will be so much easier than you can imagine. And never to forget that fear.