Well, for whatever its worth, I'm right there what you describe. First 2 years E patches and spiro, then 3rd year, IM shot via MD, then now post 3 years, E pellets via another MD. I still present as male at work, but its a little bit confusing to some coworkers, I've heard people from afar mentioning me as that lady, but people I know up close as 'dude', and others just stare blankly, like maybe they know, but don't say anything. I've been on a full dose since year two, feel a lot better about myself. If and when I have the money and have another job, I may do FFS, and then a BA and BBL, with body countering. I play it by ear. Emotionally, I can't relate to guys anymore, to females, yes, but well, I'm not out at work, and I'm out to only one other TG lady. Physically, I have to be careful, even with dress shirts, since my boob outline shows, but YMMV, since not everybody reacts the same. I started at 44, now 48(turned at the end of march). I'm way more sentimental, but I tend to camouflage that as much as I can at work. Before this post I described myself a MTF TG, but now I'm not so sure, I may have GRS, but I may not.
If my job opportunities, finances and health, pan out for the better, I do want FFS, a BA and BBL and maybe GRS. Other factors are in the mix, which makes it so complicated, beyond what I can describe here.