This is kind of an expansion of my intro to Susan's Place.

I have spent most of my life thinking of myself as a crossdresser. Occasionally wondering if I was transexual, but that never felt like the right answer. Recently I took a gender identity test which placed me as androgyn. This was really eye opening for me. This was exactly how I felt. One of the suggestions given in the test results was that of partial transition. Wow! I didn't know that was a thing! I had assumed it was an all or nothing process. Well, I guess I am partially transitioned right now. I now have a very feminine hairstyle and have also undergone laser hair removal and now on to electrolysis.

Now as I am processing this information and waiting for my first therapy appointment, I was hoping people could share information on their M2F partial transitions. I am curious about physical changes from hormones as well as anything else you would care to share.

Right now I am very interested in what HRT might have to offer me. I am coming aware that I feel that my body is lacking parts. Growing breasts and having wider hips and thighs are the things I feel are lacking in my life. How have they change your bodies?

Completely.

I guess you could say I've partly transitioned. I'm MtF, but I don't want to socially transition for various practical reasons.

I'm on HRT for some years and still present male. I've the usual breasts and body shape, but I hide it all. The next step would be SRS.

After that, if I have to, or circumstances change, would be social transition.

You can do whatever you want.

Here are a few of the effects of hrt :

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196114.msg1746140.html#msg1746140


You also can change hair and clothing style ...


*hugs*

Quote from: AnonyMs on April 03, 2016, 02:45:34 PM
I guess you could say I've partly transitioned. I'm MtF, but I don't want to socially transition for various practical reasons.

I'm on HRT for some years and still present male. I've the usual breasts and body shape, but I hide it all. The next step would be SRS.

After that, if I have to, or circumstances change, would be social transition.

You can do whatever you want.

You could just grow your hair out and keep it in a ponytail.
After transition you could have your hair cut so it covers brows and forehead.
You could look up Isley Reust as an example.
This kind of hairstyle mimicks what parts of some FFS surgeries do .. changing what brows and forehead look like.

You could try wth a wig to see how you'd look ...


*hugs*

Quote from: AnonyMs on April 03, 2016, 02:45:34 PM
I guess you could say I've partly transitioned. I'm MtF, but I don't want to socially transition for various practical reasons.

I'm on HRT for some years and still present male. I've the usual breasts and body shape, but I hide it all. The next step would be SRS.

After that, if I have to, or circumstances change, would be social transition.

You can do whatever you want.

Pretty much same as me...has huge advantages

The only diff is im not technically mtf.

Thats a fine line though.  And super controversial.  Cause labeling it falls completely apart sometimes with nonbinary variance.

You can do anything hon.  Especially with soc 7 now supporting nb transition needs.

You do not have to socially transition.  Find what works for you.  Find your truth.  Find your core.

I'm not sure if I was clear. I'm pretty sure I'm MtF rather than non-binary, not that it really matters. There's some problems socially transitioning might cause me, and I really don't want them. So I'll do all the medical things that won't out me first and hope its enough. It's been a battle I'm slowly losing.

I'm making an effort to look male. So short male haircut, light facial hair. You'd never guess looking at me. For some reason I don't see to mind.

If I do socially transition I'll probably do electrolysis, FFS, BA as quickly as possible then swap over.

I don't much care what the SOC says, and I don't need to. I think trans people give it more status than doctors and surgeons do.

Those who transition partially have different reasons for doing so. It can be how they feel and know they are to something externally such as you have mentioned. Labels are only relevant when me make them relevant. All that matters is knowing who we are and doing and then setting out be who we are to the extent we are comfortable doing so. I have always known who I am. I had to detransition from my first time around partially do to social pressures. Then when I moved forward with my current transition there was a possibility that it would have been only a partial one due to my health and the limits that would place on me. HRT can easily allow you the freedom to partially transition. You might find low dose particularly help because things move even loser generally, but I would talk to your endo/ prescribing doctor and let them know exactly what your looking for out of your transition. A good friend of mine has been on HRT for a ten plus years and still presents as male at work and dresses when they get the opportunity too. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: AnonyMs on April 03, 2016, 08:02:25 PM
I'm not sure if I was clear. I'm pretty sure I'm MtF rather than non-binary, not that it really matters. There's some problems socially transitioning might cause me, and I really don't want them. So I'll do all the medical things that won't out me first and hope its enough. It's been a battle I'm slowly losing.

I'm making an effort to look male. So short male haircut, light facial hair. You'd never guess looking at me. For some reason I don't see to mind.

If I do socially transition I'll probably do electrolysis, FFS, BA as quickly as possible then swap over.

I don't much care what the SOC says, and I don't need to. I think trans people give it more status than doctors and surgeons do.

I started on low dose and it was really good at the beginning, but eventually not enough (bad depression). Its been around 8 years now, with the last 2 on full transitioning HRT.

I don't mind presenting male, and never dress noticeably female. I do wear female clothes, but you can't tell they are. As long as I have my HRT all the crazy stuff goes away. I feel normal right now, whatever that is. If it wasn't for trying and failing to stop HRT so many times in the past I'd wonder if I was trans at all.

I just wonder how long I can stay like this. I'm worried I'll start feeling the need to transition further, and there's not a lot more I can do without socially transitioning.

Well, for whatever its worth, I'm right there what you describe. First 2 years E patches and spiro, then 3rd year, IM shot via MD, then now post 3 years, E pellets via another MD. I still present as male at work, but its a little bit confusing to some coworkers, I've heard people from afar mentioning me as that lady, but people I know up close as 'dude', and others just stare blankly, like maybe they know, but don't say anything. I've been on a full dose since year two, feel a lot better about myself. If and when I have the money and have another job, I may do FFS, and then a BA and BBL, with body countering. I play it by ear. Emotionally, I can't relate to guys anymore, to females, yes, but well, I'm not out at work, and I'm out to only one other TG lady. Physically, I have to be careful, even with dress shirts, since my boob outline shows, but YMMV, since not everybody reacts the same. I started at  44, now 48(turned at the end of march). I'm way more sentimental, but I tend to camouflage that as much as I can at work. Before this post I described myself a MTF TG, but now I'm not so sure, I may have GRS, but I may not.
If my job opportunities, finances and health, pan out for the better, I do want FFS, a BA and BBL and maybe GRS. Other factors are in the mix, which makes it so complicated, beyond what I can describe here.

There is a place between nb and mtf where lines blurr and labels crash.

I know who i am, physically sexually mtf trans, yes.  But socially i can do anything.

Its a post that is important to us all, a dialogue badly needed.

More later on this my dear ones, i need to talk about this.  Its important, it can save lives, its affirming, it frees from fear.

I see mtf with nonbinary traits...irl.
Here...

I see nonbinaries with wonderful blends of gender irl, here...

Its people living.  No narrative, no inevitable transitions.  People yearning for their truth.  Finding themselves.

Living stealth on selective gender roles...why not?

Nonbinary and want full transition hormones...why not?

Whats up with all these rules...

How much is social conditioning, enforced by pack or tribe or marketting or peer pressure?

So i live looking like a guy with boobs and hair and female eyebrows and rings and long clear polished nails and a couple bracelets.  And the cis guys freak out.

Why?

I broke their rules.  If they saw under my shirt or pat my back they'll really freak.  I'm a 36a of real boob and i don't go braless.

I choose this life, this presentation.  I work in ny construction, i need to play the gender role game.

Changes nothing.  Even transitioning to me does not mean I have to expose me...

Do i live as a guy?

Im not a guy.  I dont wanna be one either.  Too much bs.

Am i a girl?

In bed, sure.  But outside?

No.  I am a trans person.  Even full out, and i pass and im pretty.  Still, not girl.

I'm fundamentally different.  I dont fit the dialogues. 

I am transgender.

Invalidates nothing.

Who we are, no choice, we are trans.

Who we reveal ourselves to and how much?

That is a choice.  And a hard one.  It all has a price to pay.

Just my experience with living it.

Satin Joy

My goal in transition is to relieve my dysphoria and be fully me. End of story. So far that has meant that I tend to eschew most of the trappings of cultural femininity. I identify as a non binary trans woman. I am bi gendered or genderfluid swinging between masculine femme tomboyishness to agender. I have my butch days, my femme ones, my blended days and plenty of genderless ones. I have been on hrt for just over a year. I don't shape my eyebrows. I let my mpb show. My legs and arms are often fuzzy and I almost never wear girly clothes, sometimes though I go high femme. Think punk rock hiking dyke. I do love to rock nail polish and earings though and I change my hair style and head accessories a lot. I began electrolysis on my face but have slowed down. I kinda want the peach fuzz beard some hirsute cis women have. I never wear makeup apart from the very rare eyeshadow day. My lifestyle precludes it plus it doesn't feel right. I love my strong shoulders and arms and often wear clothes that show them off. I do pass a cis well enough to not be hassled in the women's room though. I really want to get to a point where I can do a drag king act!

So, not partial transition per se. I have transitioned from a presumed male to a non binary trans woman whose definition of themself changes and flows. If I had written this reply days ago I might have said "herself" but that just feels icky to me today.

Hrt has done wonders for me. I am looking at bottom surgery but may start with an orchiectomy and see how I feel. I am just beginning to suss that out.

Wow! Getting some great information here. Thanks so much.

For those of you doing HRT, are you dong the full transition program or a partial? I am personally interested in partial HRT since I would like to retain the use of my boy parts. Have you experienced much physical change?

I have seen big changes but my boy parts still work if I want them to. I am on a full dose. My hormone levels are at about the same point, at an equilibrium. I do want to change that though.

In some devilish way I want to challenge what one might consider a "partial" or full transition.  Of course some of us need or want a limited transition for all kinds of reasons, usually connected to social comfort levels.  Do we really transition from one to another gender or is this our personal and social transition toward self acceptance and our individual gender reality?  Did I get half way there yet?

In my reality transition cannot eliminate my social history or validate my gender, whatever that is.  Transition helps me feel more comfortable as myself but can never turn me into a cisgender woman or erase the experiences of a lifetime. 

HRT offers us opportunities to revisit our assigned gender at birth and the full complement of physical and emotional changes that typically come with the territory.  I felt it allowed me a second chance puberty and new ways of seeing myself in the world.  HRT offers us options to free ourselves from the dominant hetero-cisnomative cultural thinking, being and feeling.  It offers us another path forward with medical support.  Grab that brass ring and don't let go, where we end up, well we just don't know.....  Enjoy the ride.

Full transition leveld on high dose injections, and my "boy part" does not function in a way that is dominant.  Maybe with cialis, according to my doc, but questionable.

I am not by the wildest stretch of imagination a boy in bed.

To my great relief and long sought joy.

Satinjoy