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The burning question/doubt of feeling real for Pre/Post OPs.

Started by CryoRose, April 12, 2016, 09:11:56 AM

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CryoRose

As with most if not all transgender, or in my case being half transgender I know what it's like to have both the fun of male/female feelings, thoughts, hormone issues and all of that fun lovely stuff. =P

Tho the question is for those who are pre & post OP. The doubt and the question of "How real do/does you/it feel?" Tho does everyone going through or even after the operation have the same questions/doubts during the depression stages of wondering how "real" is it? Of course everyone is different, and I'm not here to feed or bring more doubt into anyone's process. It is more of trying to understand if it is "natural/normal" to feel this in such depths of questioning what is or could be.

The constant seeing what my CIS friends are like, and how they are during some times having those periods of wondering if it will be the same, or always feeling the different one or "Odd ball out".

Also am curious if anyone else has had different feelings on this in other ways. I know I fully do not understand my own, what it is exactly. I do know it prays on my mind a great deal questions/doubt and lack of knowing what I am really feeling at the time or how I will feel when it's done.

However, maybe my wording is not the best, and I know I have always had trouble explaining/wording things correctly a great majority of the times. A fault of mine, but I do try. =3 If what I have said/asked is not clear just say so. =) I'll try better.
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suzifrommd

Being post-op definitely helped me feel real. Even being pre-op (as opposed to non-op) put me in a frame of mind where I could convince myself that I was "really trans" as opposed to sort of trans.

It's one thing to know in my head that there is no one right or wrong experience of transness, but it's another thing to post on this site among people who fit the traditional narrative and convince myself I'm really one of them.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Rebecca

It is still relatively early days for me, only 16 months since I woke up but far from doubts I've sworn to myself and my family I'll never be "him" again. Made them as happy to hear it as it was for me to say.

To my perception my body is now recovering from an involuntary intoxication that warped my mind and body almost irreparably. Looking back I'm amazed I survived.


My final act will be GCS to prevent that poison from ever corrupting me again whilst completing my body.

I am more real now than I have ever been ☺
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