So I've been on T for just over 5 months and am starting to like how masculine I now look; when before I disliked how I looked 'in between' and kind of awkward. I think for the most part people see me as a 17yr old guy which I guess is better than being seen as female :/.
What I've noticed gradually happening is that my dysphoria is now almost non existant; which is kinda freaking me out a little bit. Before it was a constant buzz in my brain now it's like a low hum. I realised yesterday that I now feel pretty much as I did before realising I was trans; were by I was (and am) experiencing dysphoria because of how my chest is; but I don't hate my body. Not sure if this is because I'm slightly agender or what. I know every trans person experiences dysphoria differently but I've never heard of a trans persons dysphoria going away this quickly.
I know many trans people reading this will think what am I complaining about. I'm really sorry if this triggers your dysphoria :/. I'm just not used to be happy/comfortable within myself and it's slightly unerving. Sorry if this is a weird question.

My dysphoria has always come and gone with my mood, making it generally less severe than people who face it 24/7.  It has also lessened as I become more masculine, particularly as my voice has deepened and my shoulders and arms have widened (my two biggest areas of dysphoria).  It hasn't gone away completely, but it is also a whole lot less than it was before I started T.  Dysphoria is different for everyone--it is not more or less real than anyone else's, much like depression varies considerably for different people but isn't any more legit for one person than another.  Don't feel bad!

Quote from: FtMitch on April 14, 2016, 08:58:31 AM
My dysphoria has always come and gone with my mood, making it generally less severe than people who face it 24/7.  It has also lessened as I become more masculine, particularly as my voice has deepened and my shoulders and arms have widened (my two biggest areas of dysphoria).  It hasn't gone away completely, but it is also a whole lot less than it was before I started T.  Dysphoria is different for everyone--it is not more or less real than anyone else's, much like depression varies considerably for different people but isn't any more legit for one person than another.  Don't feel bad!

Thanks . I guess I can't help but think am I really trans or simply what's wrong with me. When I know deep down I'm just finally comfortable which is a normal feeling instead of the self hatred I'm used too. I wouldn't trade any of the changes I've gained from T for any amount of money.
It would be interesting to stop taking T and see how I feel; but I wouldn't want to waste time by having my body feminise again.

Only some things will feminize. Obviously, skin, although that's slow going. Voice won't change. If you have had hair come in yet, that isn't going to change. If you built muscle, that will stay unless you stop using them. Seen conflicting stuff about growth--my endo says it will revert and I believe it probably does... eventually. Shark week will likely return (that is a non starter for me).

I'm 6 weeks on T and having some of the same feelings although we're all different. (Remember, some trans people never experience dysphoria, it's a typical symptom, not the sine qua non). I just think about my goals and they haven't changed a flip. Bye bye The Rent Tent, bye bye chest tumors, hello upper body strength, hello my own facial hair, hello my own face (I know it could take years for my face to change, but I want to know what I look like).

I know I'm a little genderqueer, but not the sort to do beard+boobs (maybe because boobs make me so dysphoric). I don't have any sort of negative reaction to bearded men wearing women's clothing. I'm not scared of being queer and frankly if I can get my body right I can be myself more than now where I'm ashamed of my body and super inhibited.

Mine has shifted in what I'm dysphoric about. Prior to starting T, I was most focused on my social dysphoria and how isolating it was. Once I started T and was passing more effectively and looking more masculine, my focus went to my chest. That was solved after top surgery, and then I started having really terrible lower dysphoria. I'm really hoping it follows the trend and goes away after bottom surgery.

It also has varied in amount/size I think. Like I said, I felt very alone and almost antisocial pre-everything. I didn't want to go out or hang out with my friends and be seen as a girl. I didn't want to make new friends and be a girl and then have to explain my future transition to them. My chest dysphoria was mostly background noise throughout all that, and was dealt with much more swiftly. I think it may have gotten worse if I had had to wait.

I was actually completely fine for a few months after top surgery. Felt good about myself, was happy with the way T was working its magic. It took a while for the lower dysphoria to set in, but once it was there, it quickly became the worst for me. I don't remember exactly when it started, but I think I took almost a month off from posting here or reading anything trans-related until I was ready to address it. I've never had as much anxiety or been as depressed about anything in my life.

So to answer - yes. There have been extended periods of time where I feel good about myself. And don't get me wrong - I'm very happy with all the steps I've taken thus far. Top surgery and T did so much for me mentally, emotionally, socially. Hopefully bottom surgery will enable me to run out of things I hate about myself.

Although I'm MTF I have had a similar experience recently. Looking at my face in the mirror I was actually happy with what I saw but couldn't explain it straight away. Then it hit me my reflection looked FTM instead of MTF. I'm seeing myself from the other side of the gender scale first. Seeing myself cross an invisible line has made a massive difference to me.

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I get these feelings a lot. I think it is normal. For example, I am pre-hormones and pre-surgery. So, I experience dysphoria almost daily. However, after a change of wardrobe and people calling me by he/him pronouns and my masculine name, my dysphoria has had an impressive decline. Which makes me pretty happy. 

Thanks for the replies .

AnxietyDisord3r- what do you mean by 'rent tent'. Sorry I haven't heard that one before ; ). Inhibited is exactly the word I couldn't find to how I felt pre T. I'm a lot more comfortable to show my 'queerness' than I was before; but still cautious as to not gain negative reactions from other people; whether that's strangers or family members. So I hope in at least a years time I'll be more confident than I am currently. I'm grateful I'm not how I was a year ago. Do you still find yourself constrained by other people or are you completely past that now?

FTMax- Yeah; I have noticed I'm also a lot calmer and less anxious; which is a relief. I think I still have a bit of social anxiety still. I guess in a way I'm in the best place to be as a trans person. The changes from T are still new and have my top surgery to look forward too (even though it's way into the future). I'm ready mentally for my bottom dysphoria to become more pronounced after top surgery; as I've heard it happen to a lot of trans guys. I'll deal with that when it comes.

Jerrica- I can relate to this. It quite odd that I can now recognise myself in the mirror instead of seeing a female face that looked alien to me.

Vincent- Glad to hear about your success . I remember when I bought my first male clothes and finally felt comfortable.

Glad you can see yourself in the mirror these days as so many people take that simple pleasure for granted.

The only way I could find myself was through my eyes originally and it was so hard. It is nice to see a more familiar face in the morning.

Hopefully some day we'll both look in the mirror and just see ourselves smiling back at us.