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How often are you presenting?

Started by Denise, April 14, 2016, 08:08:34 AM

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I've concluded that 100% full-time may not be the right thing for me.  I'm wondering, how often do you present in your preferred gender?

OMG - I never do! This is only research or a dream of mine
2 (4.7%)
Only at home (privately or with family)
7 (16.3%)
Sometimes/whenever I can (please explain)
10 (23.3%)
Most of the time - Not everywhere.  (please explain)
4 (9.3%)
100% of the time.  No exceptions.  I don't have any of my old clothes.
20 (46.5%)

Total Members Voted: 43

JoanneB

I'm in the "Sometimes, whenever I can" category. At two different levels

For about all my life I cross-dressed. Minus a period, which arguably was "A Purge". Thanks to life getting in the way of living and the overwhelming desire to be 'Normal' and knowing all too well the affect on my wife..... well my needs come in last

About 7+ years ago the excrement hit the air handler again. My life was at THE ABSOLUTE LOWEST (till tomorrow maybe with my wife's 'we need to talk) point. Everything I defined myself by and as was ripped away from me.

During that time I began my healing process. I began not just CD'ing in the privacy of my home, Joanne once again, actually for the first time ever, ventured out into the daylight reveling in the joy of being out in the real world as the real me.

And so it was for several years. Part time male for work for sure. The rest as female as much as I can. A mini RLE.  Then my/our prayers were answered. Back at an old job. Back living with my old wife. Back to my.... almost all new ways.

Hard to believe that just 7 miles from NYC I fear for my safety vs 350 miles away in rural West Virginia.

Got to love a good irony
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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ryokohimura

What a coincidence that I found this today.

I put most of the time because...well...I'm not sure. I've started wearing women's jeans now that tax season is over and I feel that, even at 3 month, it's fairly obvious that I have breasts. At this point...I don't think I have a choice. Today I got really afraid on the train as I wasn't sure if "The Local Color" was giving me crap or (as was actually the case) messing around with his...whoever she was to him. I got super self conscious and didn't feel better till I got back downtown. Luckily I had a book with me to keep myself occupied.

Quote from: King PhoenixNo offense, MTFs, but I think in this regard, it's far easier to navigate this world as an FTM because there aren't nearly as many expectations placed on an FTM to dress in their assigned gender as an MTF. In other words, biological women can get away with wearing a fully tailored suit than a biological man could in a big, glittery tutu. I have seen a stupid commercial recently where a man is dressed just like that; in a pink tutu and acting very feminine as if to be a great source of humiliation and humor. I would have laughed back then just to fit in with all the other close-minded folks out there who probably cried their eyes out with laughter at such an insult. So how will the world ever come to accept transgender people when commercials such as this exist to poke fun at us? Especially at MTFs?

I totally agree with this. My style is very casual, just jeans and a t-shirt. I still wear men's style t-shirts as my mid-section hasn't caught up to my chest, legs and butt. I really hope that where I live is just that chill that I can still go out while still in the "Uncanny Valley" as I call it. Sorry if that sounds mean. I just fell that I'm being stared at and I'm not giving up my breasts for anyone. I never felt handsome as a guy. I never saw it. For once I feel that I "Can" be pretty, I am cute, I deserve to wear a shirt that say "Bonita" on it.
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Rebecca

Agree it sounds a lot easier for clothes in public for FTM but unfortunately that's the way almost everyone is programmed. Double standards abound but even recognising that is a good start even if we can't change it.

For genuine humours sake I say everything is fair game but intent is the most important part to me. For anyone being forced to dress opposite to your true gender is uncomfortable which makes it kinda funny as when we dress as expected by others we feel more ridiculous than the person in the advert. Not seen it though so can't really judge it. I take solace in the thought that any of the other people in the advert could have been trans. For good or for ill many do want to just blend in. For those that wish to stand out however the world is your stage but the crowd is full of critics.

The media can be a real problem though as I have always feared the image of "man in a dress". Just glad now I am me that I can see and remove that old BS from my mind. Can't change others but I am free.

Gratz on 371 days ☺

Voice I am so jealous but love the less is more tip.

Yeah the world has changed a LOT since I was a kid. Used to genuinely fear being locked up forever if the world knew what I was thinking (bloody parents).

None of us can change how our story starts but we can all sure as heck change how it ends.
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Rebecca

Whoops missed reading the last 2 posts before posting.

Yeah totally get how we always put ourselves last like we are less than everyone else. It really isn't fair. Neither is the constant quest to be "normal" worst of all many probably succeed on that quest and live someone else's life instead of theirs which truly tragic.

I love the courage of everyone going all out as the image of me in a dress and makeup or swimsuit would terrify me. That's as much from my own fashion side as much as anything else though as I am pretty hung up on looks.

I suppose I'm still trying to be "normal" but as a girl now.

Do love irony but yeah the world is a funny place but also sounds scary. I know I wouldn't go out after dark from fear of both the dark and neds (hooligans/young bad people).

We including me need to stop being so judgemental on looks everyone else can dress as they please to us. We need to let ourselves do the same.

Bonita shirt sounds good.
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barbie

My colleagues and friends all know who I am, but I wear skirt everyday. My voice does not pass, but what matters? A lot of people watch me in the street, and I enjoy stares only from women (not men).



Yes. I am also over 50.

barbie~~
Just do it.
  • skype:barbie?call
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Jacqueline

Very rarely. Yet at this point I am wearing women's clothes all the time. They are just close enough to what I always wore(well a little pushed further) that no one at work or out notices.
1st Therapy: February 2015
First Endo visit & HRT StartJanuary 29, 2016
Jacqueline from Joanna July 18, 2017
Full Time June 1, 2018





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Cindy

Lordy this thread brings back memories!
I was slowly transitioning, my name change came through and I was one day at work FT.

My therapist asked if I was OK and I said almost. 'What's up' "I gave a lecture last week to 300 medical students, I lecture them again on Weds and I'm scared."

'You've changed your name, change it on your slides, wear something professional and go for it'

I did.

Two days FT and wearing a skirt, blouse, high heel boots and as nervous as Hell. 300 students, some being silly (females) and me. Alone.

I got one question at the end of the lecture from a female student.

"I love your boots, where did you get them?"

End of fear.
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Life-as-Grace

Right now i'm gathering the supplies to start my transition. I got my wig, now i just need to get some clothes and makeup. I'm going to start slowly easing into passing, first at home, then with friends, then hopefully i would be on HRT and can start physically passing better.
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Stevie

Quote from: Cindy on April 23, 2016, 03:28:28 AM
Lordy this thread brings back memories!
I was slowly transitioning, my name change came through and I was one day at work FT.

My therapist asked if I was OK and I said almost. 'What's up' "I gave a lecture last week to 300 medical students, I lecture them again on Weds and I'm scared."

'You've changed your name, change it on your slides, wear something professional and go for it'

I did.

Two days FT and wearing a skirt, blouse, high heel boots and as nervous as Hell. 300 students, some being silly (females) and me. Alone.

I got one question at the end of the lecture from a female student.

"I love your boots, where did you get them?"

End of fear.

   Lovely story, made me smile. You faced your fears by being yourself and became stronger for doing it.
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Wild-Eyed

I bind (as best I can) full-time and dress as a boy. I still keep some girl clothes for personal reasons.
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Denise

Quote from: Cindy on April 23, 2016, 03:28:28 AM
Lordy this thread brings back memories!
I was slowly transitioning, my name change came through and I was one day at work FT.

My therapist asked if I was OK and I said almost. 'What's up' "I gave a lecture last week to 300 medical students, I lecture them again on Weds and I'm scared."

'You've changed your name, change it on your slides, wear something professional and go for it'

I did.

Two days FT and wearing a skirt, blouse, high heel boots and as nervous as Hell. 300 students, some being silly (females) and me. Alone.

I got one question at the end of the lecture from a female student.

"I love your boots, where did you get them?"

End of fear.

Cindy - Thank you for this story, I hope I can do the same when the time comes.  I, at times, stand up in front of a large group to lecture/talk.  I hope when the time comes that I too can not faint from nerves!
1st Person out: 16-Oct-2015
Restarted Spironolactone 26-Aug-2016
Restarted Estradiol Valerate: 02-Nov-2016
Full time: 02-Mar-2017
Breast Augmentation (Schechter): 31-Oct-2017
FFS (Walton in Chicago): 25-Sep-2018
Vaginoplasty (Schechter): 13-Dec-2018









A haiku in honor of my grandmother who loved them.
The Voices are Gone
Living Life to the Fullest
I am just Denise
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Tristyn

Quote from: Wild-Eyed on April 25, 2016, 04:11:53 PM
I bind (as best I can) full-time and dress as a boy. I still keep some girl clothes for personal reasons.

I do also. But mainly because they are for back up and because I'd like to give them to charity but just haven't had the opportunity. I really hope I do not have to revert back into women's clothing for some dire reason like a funeral or for work. That would just suck for me.

-Sparky
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chris.deee

I spend 1-2 days per month as a woman, typically running errands, shopping, or vacationing. I'm lucky that I only get misgendered every few months.

The rest of the time I'm relatively androgynous, but am rarely gendered as a woman.

Given fewer constraints on my time, 1-2 days might grow a bit, but I like having both parts of my life. 
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