Jennifer, your life is precious, and I know it sounds cliche, but I really believe it, and I sense you're such a strong and good hearted woman. No one should kill themselves especially not over stupid and ignorant (but also evil and full of hate) people.

This can be fixed. It's a battle you can win. We all can. It's not just your battle, it's every trans person's battle. We're with you.

Hugs again, Jennifer, and we're all willing to help and support you the best way we can, emotionally or in other ways.

JS

Thanks to all for your super kind emotional and practical support. About 8 hours ago I set my date for ending it all (my life) at about 2 weeks from now and I told one family member of mine about this date. This will now not be necessary because the criminal anti-trans religious nutcakes have removed their April 26 facebook thread illegally defaming MY genuine photos!!!!! YAYYYY

Several days ago I publicly published to them inside that illegal defamatory thread 3 public messages to them threatening to go to the FBI about the matter and other measures I might take. Apparently this worked!

Their vitriolic anti-trans toilet bathroom video is still on youtube and this video is now up to more than 4,000 youtube views. However the youtube video makes no mention of ME personally and my photos do not appear there.

I will consider the matter sufficiently solved so now I can relax better again. There were about 15 shares on facebook of MY photos with links to the defamatory youtube video, so my photos might still be out there on some of the facebook timelines with links to the youtube video on the timelines of some of the followers of this criminal religious nutcake. I did take screenshots of the facebook timelines of about 7 of the 15 followers of the nutcake while the thread with my photos was still on the criminal nutcakes page as well. SO...I dunno.....

I could go look at any or all of the facebook timelines of the approximately 7 of his followers for whom I have a screenshot on my hard drive, each of which screenshots includes illegal use of my photos. As followers I don't know if they can be held legally or criminally accountable for spreading false defamation of my photos anyway...maybe yes maybe no. It might be better to just let it go at this point so this doesn't hurt me further emotionally.

What do YOU kind people here feel? I still have screenshots. The original post thread has been removed from facebook by the religious criminal who created the defamatory material. My photos are probably still out there with hyperlinks to the "trans girls are child sex perverts in the bathroom" youtube video on at least some of the facebook timelines of some of his followers who shared his original defamatory thread to their own timelines. I would have to check.

I feel more relaxed NOT doing that however, at least for the moment.

Should I share any of these internet links with any of you privately, or consider the matter to be over ? What do you feel about this ? For now I feel okay considering the matter finished. But is it really ? Should I risk more unpredictable emotional damage to ME by engaging these bigots any further or just let it go ? I am inclined to let it go but maybe once a week monitor the facebook and youtube stuff the criminal bigot and his followers are doing. Or maybe just relax, let it go, and forget about it and move on with my currently rather excellent real life face to face as me fulltime, Jennifer ?

You should never consider ending your life necessary. No one should. Please, I know this is a difficult situation you face, but be strong!

I can monitor stuff for you if you want, if it's too emotionally difficult for you. Also, if you send us the video we can all flag it and report it to youtube and I'm sure youtube will take it down after many reports. We can all contact the youtube staff writing something, I don't know, just an idea.

Quote from: jossam on May 05, 2016, 08:45:09 PM
You should never consider ending your life necessary. No one should. Please, I know this is a difficult situation you face, but be strong!

I can monitor stuff for you if you want, if it's too emotionally difficult for you. Also, if you send us the video we can all flag it and report it to youtube and I'm sure youtube will take it down after many reports. We can all contact the youtube staff writing something, I don't know, just an idea.

Thank you kindly dear. In this hour I feel happy and I don't want get emotionally depressed again, Estrogen and progesterone are great but my emotions are sometimes intense and I need to avoid stress and I need to avoid time pressure to feel happy. I always consider suicide to be one possible option for me and I've lost some friends for honestly stating but my true friends stay with me over time even when I feel this way. My real life right now is quite excellent as full time Jennifer except for one major highly emotional bit of transphobia against me I am experiencing but other than that my real life face to face is just super good and happy right now in nearly all aspects of daily life as full-time Jennifer. A lot of online stuff though gets me depressed because emotionally I don't handle bullying well and some trans girls online still call me a "man" online even though that's a crime in some European countries as a hate crime and then I have these cis (non-trans) religious bigots natonwide in USA using my photos in their virulent anti trans bathroom video painting me and YOU gals who are trans ladies as "men" and they are calling you and me criminal child sex perverts who will probably rape little girls in bathrooms and this makes me want to kill myself dealing with this it is so emotionally upsetting to me. On the day I first found out about it last week or so I duuno I've kinda lost track of time this upsets me so much but basically I had to cancel all work appointments and go to sleep for most of 24 hours to avoid jumping off a tall builidng. This will now go onto Google because a lot of stuff posted at susan's ends up on goggle but I don't give a sh-- it is public knowledge I have many times seriously considered suicide so what if more people find out about that I just dont care anymore. this online bullying is just beating me up emotionally and severely impeding my real life happiness as full time Jennifer which is quite honestly now going super-duper except for one major issue I am expending a lot of emotional stress on but I'm handling it okay but this combined with multiple online bullyng in the week makes me want to jump from a tall building soon so my solution for my own emotional survival so I don't literally die from suicide is that I no longer associate in any way with many former online friends and I no longer associate in any way with organizations that have an inordinate number of trans bullies who don't like my physical appearance, who don't like that I was in Pageant last year and many trans girls vitriolically hate pageants and are particularly hateful against ME personally because I am in my 50s and they feel I am "past it" which is their damned invalid criteria there is NO age limit for a sexy beautifull full time legally female on my passport girl to enter a pageant and if I want to enter ANOTHER pageant who will accept me and it's legal to enter that pageant in whatever country and I can pay for it and have the time for it then regardless of one's opinions about pageants a trans bully has no moral right to publicly mock me bully me for wanting to be as beautiful as I can in any pageant I qualify for and furthermore they have no right to bully me because I love to date and flirt with sexy MEN online and many trans girls bully me constantly online about my dating habits which they morally have no right to do it is MY damn life and they have no right to try to drive me to suicide because I openly have more success at online dating with men and get more male followers than them even though I'm in my 50s they have no moral right to continue to mock me for this and try to interfere with my online relationships with adult males. Furthermore trans bullies have no moral right to bully me how I dress which has happened many times. I was bullied in school I don't bully others and when I try to defend myself this makes some of the bullies continue to bully me even more. So frequently I just try to ignore the bullying which is now mostly online. Maybe they think they can drive me to suicide and hey they might be right and then there are these cis (non-trans) religious nuts trying to drive me to suicide. Probably I need to be less involved in less of this online sh-- and take care of myself in my currently quite happy face to face real life which is much more important anyway. I want happy survival rather than suicide but we will see what happens in the near future. I seldom get bullied anymore in real life anytime kust this online sh--. I have a message for the bullies -- bullying KILLS (via suicide and sometimes murder) and you sometimes get genuine and beautiful trans girls like me to kill ourselves. There seems to be a lot more sympathy when younger trans girls get bullied than when older trans girls like me get bullied maybe because some people figure I am closer to death anyway so it matters less if I do suicide than if a tran girl in her 20s does suicide. Although this group here seems sympathetic. But since my real life is going so very well as full-time Jennifer I have good friends and a nice living situation and work I enjoy so being less involved online might literally save my life. We will see. Jennifer xx