I'm just wondering cause my mom keeps saying "Well since your young you never know you might want to go back as being a girl." I sort of agree..Because last year is when I started to become depressed and I started having Gender Dysphoria. But all my life as a little kid I've always got jealous everything guys did and I'd always dress in my dad's clothes and I'd feel so superior when I wore his clothes. And I'd use to wish that I'd had a guy part. (I don't know if I'm allowed to say that on here)Also when I didn't have breasts I'd always go shirtless no matter what. But yeah not until last year is when everything started hitting me and I became depressed about my gender and suicidal. Since I've attempted twice. And cut over 30 times. Do you think I'll always feel this way, That I don't want to be a girl and I want to be a guy? Or is this some kind of horror depression that made me start hating being a girl. Because I'm already having plans in the future to transition..But I've never heard of anything wanting to redo it. So am I actually a FTM? Because I've been feeling with way all my life and since puberty gotten more feminine me to become more of a female I started feeling dysphoric. I don't even feel like I want to be a girl. I really want to do this..

therapy would help put things in perspective if you don't already have a therapist.

There is a risk of regretting the decision and detransitioning after age 18 but it only a few percentage points. Before age 18, children are a bit more fluid so the numbers can be higher and that's the reason for starting T or E at age 18. Blockers are often given at the start of puberty when the child is known to be transgender in order to buy a few years for the child's identity to settle down without body changes that would be expensive to reverse. I think in you case, you have it pretty bad and it's not very likely that your mind will change. If it's possible for you, you should be seeing a gender therapist and you should start on blockers if you aren't 18 yet.

Quote from: Dena on May 08, 2016, 03:44:08 PM
There is a risk of regretting the decision and detransitioning after age 18 but it only a few percentage points. Before age 18, children are a bit more fluid so the numbers can be higher and that's the reason for starting T or E at age 18. Blockers are often given at the start of puberty when the child is known to be transgender in order to buy a few years for the child's identity to settle down without body changes that would be expensive to reverse. I think in you case, you have it pretty bad and it's not very likely that your mind will change. If it's possible for you, you should be seeing a gender therapist and you should start on blockers if you aren't 18 yet.

Thank You I really needed to know this.

Quote from: PeterSteele on May 08, 2016, 02:58:03 PM
I'm just wondering cause my mom keeps saying "Well since your young you never know you might want to go back as being a girl." I sort of agree..Because last year is when I started to become depressed and I started having Gender Dysphoria. But all my life as a little kid I've always got jealous everything guys did and I'd always dress in my dad's clothes and I'd feel so superior when I wore his clothes. And I'd use to wish that I'd had a guy part. (I don't know if I'm allowed to say that on here)Also when I didn't have breasts I'd always go shirtless no matter what. But yeah not until last year is when everything started hitting me and I became depressed about my gender and suicidal. Since I've attempted twice. And cut over 30 times. Do you think I'll always feel this way, That I don't want to be a girl and I want to be a guy? Or is this some kind of horror depression that made me start hating being a girl. Because I'm already having plans in the future to transition..But I've never heard of anything wanting to redo it. So am I actually a FTM? Because I've been feeling with way all my life and since puberty gotten more feminine me to become more of a female I started feeling dysphoric. I don't even feel like I want to be a girl. I really want to do this..

friends in trans groups can help, doctors can help, some therapists can help. but in the end Peter only YOU can make the decision. Please remember that. Someone correctly pointed this fact out to ME in my transition process, and I will be forever thankful to her for pointing this fact out...IN THE END, ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE FOR SURE.

Given your history, it sounds unlikely that you'll regret transition.  Growing discomfort post-puberty is common is transgender people and uncommon in cisgender people -- we're all awkward during puberty, but that's not what you've described.  And as severe as your depression has been, your mom's attitude sounds a lot more like denial than an honest and informed evaluation of your expected outcome.

So yeah, people de-transition, but rarely.  If you're nervous about that, don't look at surgery^* for the time being.  If you take testosterone, there's only one irreversible change: your voice will deepen (this is potentially surgically reversible) .  Also, you'll grow a beard that will never go away, but that's what electrolysis and laser hair removal are for (expensive and painful, but not impossible).  There's some wisdom to "real life experience" requirements -- if you're at all worried about de-transitioning, it's easier if your transition has been purely social and not medical.

^* bias alert: I'm personally opting for a HRT-only medical transition.  I don't want surgery for myself.  You may be different and that's okay.

Quote from: JenniferLopezgomez on May 08, 2016, 07:38:33 PM
friends in trans groups can help, doctors can help, some therapists can help. but in the end Peter only YOU can make the decision. Please remember that. Someone correctly pointed this fact out to ME in my transition process, and I will be forever thankful to her for pointing this fact out...IN THE END, ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE FOR SURE.

Thank You. This really helped I'll be thinking about this.